A friend fell out of love a few days ago, and the LAST few days si who cried went to live, and today it finally got better, and I took him to drink. Friend: Hey, I don't have a car or a house, the object is difficult to find, dry

A friend fell out of love a few days ago, and the LAST few days si who cried went to live, and today it finally got better, and I took him to drink. Friend: Hey, I don't have a car, I don't have a house, the object is difficult to find, just live a lifetime alone. Me: Look at what you said, not all girls see if you have a car or a house. Friend: Yeah, so tell me who she is? Me: I mean, don't forget to see if you're handsome or not...

2, there is a logistics company near the rental place, and the traffic comes and goes every day. I lost weight and often went to their yard to practice my equipment. Last night, the uncle who guarded the door came over to me and asked: Is the stevedores doing it? You can earn seven or eight thousand a month. I..

3, my mobile phone has a problem, when refreshing the web page will issue a "click", there is no way to turn off, one day in the bus sitting on the seat looking down at the video screen, the network is not very good stuck, I refreshed, just a skirt is very short girl passed, "click". ...... Sister you listen to my explanation...

4, one day mooncake crossed the road and was hit by a car, he looked down at his cracked stomach, very frustrated and said: "It turns out that I am five-ren stuffing." Grief-stricken, he was ready to bite his tongue and kill himself, and as soon as he took a bite, he spat out: "Yuck! It's unpalatable! ”

5, today saw a pair of brothers and sisters and children in a fight, when the fight was fierce, the father rushed over, yelled at the brother: You are a brother, you can't let the sister?! After saying that, he also slapped his brother. The brother cried and said, "Well, you haven't beaten me for so many years, and today you beat me for a woman!" ”

6, I got off at the train station, a man came over and said: "Little brother, I just got off the train in Hulan, my wallet fell on the train, give me two yuan and I take the bus home." I said directly: "Big brother, I gave you a time when I got off here a year ago, and you haven't come home yet!" ”

7, a brother has a cold to go to the hospital to get a drip, the nurse's hand has been shaking when the needle, so the brother asked her: "Old sister, you will not be a novice, right?" The nurse said, "No." The buddy got angry when he heard it: "Not a novice, then you shake your hair!" The nurse said aggrievedly: "I was too anxious to go out in the morning, and I forgot to wear autumn pants." ”

8. After the window, I hurriedly took my ID card and rushed to the train station. When I arrived at the security checkpoint, the security guard would not let me in, saying that I did not match my ID card. Me: I admit that I did plastic surgery, it was not a double eyelid cut, but it didn't change much. The security guard said: See for yourself! I was confused, took a look at the ID card: how to get my husband's!

9, a few days ago bought a cottage machine, loudspeaker, super long standby, but also waterproof, really deep in my heart ah. Once on the toilet, bored to take out the mobile phone to play a song to listen to, who knows just took it out and put the song on the accidental fall into the toilet! As a result, the mobile phone put a small apple in the toilet for three days and three nights in a row!

10, last year in Fuxin work, after the end of the construction period to buy some specialties to go back, ask the owner of the shop whether there are authentic Fuxin specialties. The hostess thought for a while and said, "Fuxin and the old ladies are the most authentic, and the next street is guaranteed to be authentic." ”

1 dry son can talk and walk, naturally to wrap him a big red envelope. When it came time to give him the money for the press, I joked with him: You give your red envelope to daddy kowtow, one head one hundred, ten bumps is good? Gan Son said happily: "Okay, talk counts, Daddy." So I knelt down and prostrated twelve heads, and I asked him: You have prostrated twelve, and your father only has five hundred to do it? The little guy said with a disdainful face: "More of those sent you!"

12, the class to fight the king, with the classmates together with four people matched, and then randomly matched to an Angela, the fight was in full swing, suddenly after class unanimously decided to go to dinner, is preparing for the team battle, the four of us sent a sentence to eat and then launched a surrender, the whole process is smooth, leaving Angela with a confused face

13, my aunt's son, that is, my cousin, has been particularly naughty since he was a child, and being beaten is also commonplace, one day he broke the glass of other people's homes, and the result was known by his aunt and uncle, and the two people grabbed him together is a mixed doubles, and he cried and shouted: "You two gang up to bully me!" My uncle said dismissively, "Why don't you say that we both partnered to give birth to you?" What about hitting you? Then he didn't dare to be naughty anymore.

14, I have a beautiful, good figure girlfriend. When she was in school, many people chased her, and I knew no less than 40 of them. In the end, she actually married a man who looked average and was a widow. But just last week, her husband died of illness!! At the funeral, I whispered to her: How much does the insurance cost? She said: The family is poor and has no insurance. Me: So how much possession did he leave for you? She: Two hundred and thirty million!! I was surprised to say: so much?? Her: Well, two hundred million is: remembrance, remembrance. Thirty million is: don't take good care of the baby, don't take good care of the elderly, don't remarry.