A man goes to a super mall to pick out a dress for his wife. The sales lady asked him, "What is your wife's waistline?" "I don't know." The man answered. "But," the man stared

A man goes to a super mall to pick out a dress for his wife. The sales lady asked him, "What is your wife's waistline?" "I don't know." The man answered. "But," said the man, after a moment's attention, "I have a 20-inch color TV at home, and my wife just happened to cover the entire screen when she stood in front of it." ”

2, the second generation of the rich in the KTV drinking Pepsi, suddenly a hot beauty walked towards this side, the beauty said: "Handsome brother, please let me have a drink at the bar!" Fu Er Dai rang the service bell: "The waiter has a bottle of your most expensive liquor here, don't open it." Beauty was immediately very happy, and after a few minutes, Beauty couldn't help herself and asked, "Why don't you open it?" Fu Er Dai smiled and said, "I don't drink, if I really want to drink, I will go crazy and hold something and bite, do you want to open?" ”

3, eye fatigue originally wanted to brush Baidu to alleviate it, the result was to see a couple show love, read the comments and laughed out, it was really tu. And I thought that someone had said to me before that the best life, a period of ignorance, a long relationship, a marriage.

4. When a man came to Hades after death, Yama asked him how many women he had before he died? The man replied that there was only one, Yan Wang Daxi rewarded him with a Mercedes Benz car to travel around the underworld, the man traveled around a circle to come back, the road met a friend driving a Beijing jeep, the man shook his head, did not talk to his friend! The man came back from another circle, and a woman rode a rickshaw and shouted: Husband wait!

5, yesterday the wife was in the basin, the pain was so painful that she died and came back to life, and finally there was no way to choose a broken abdomen, when she pushed forward to prepare for surgery, she weakly said in my ear: "Husband, can you talk to the doctor, can you help me by the way when you open the operation... draw out... dot... Fat...". Nyima... Incidentally... Liposuction... That's great! What time is this, still thinking about losing weight, I really don't understand the world of women.

6, two and a half years old baby is very well-behaved, always from time to time with a toy cup to bring water to dad, every time, dad is very proud to look at the child to drink it all! Mom watched from the side, and was silent one day Mom suddenly asked Dad, "Have you ever thought about it?" "Thoughts?" "In the whole house, the only place he can get water is the toilet..."

7, friends bought a new car to choose a license plate that they think is very good, the last few are 88H88, when drinking, they have been squealing how good their license plates are, everyone is tired of listening, and finally a brother who has not made a sound in the corner said: This license plate is indeed quite good, even if the car turns over the number

8, stay at home to make braised pork, next door to the beautiful woman to raise erha xun wei ran to my house to beg for food, after eating a few pieces of braised meat, it lay in my house and did not go, let the beauty how to pull away, and finally the daughter-in-law filled a small bowl of meat for the beauty, let her lead the erha to take away. After a while, I heard Erha roaring angrily and the beautiful woman scolding vaguely with her mouth: You dog thing! I have already eaten it just now, this is the little brother next door to me, I will not give you to eat! What kind of foodie raises what kind of foodie dog!

9, dinner is not ready to eat, but the two children have to eat. It's a pity that half a bowl of porridge was left, so I drank it. Scrambled eggs with tomatoes left a little bit to pour out unfortunately, I ate it. It's a pity that the cold cucumber left a little bit to dump, not much of this, I ate it. Hiccup ~ a little braced... Summary: Housewives are not suitable for weight loss!

10. In the mother-in-law's house, the six sons-in-law are bolder than anyone. Eldest son-in-law: I have touched the tiger's leg. Second son-in-law: I have kissed the mouth of a poisonous snake. Third son-in-law: My friends are all ghosts. Fourth son-in-law: I have one leg with zombies. Old man: To be practical, ghosts and zombies can't! Fifth son-in-law: I carry a knife and dare to grab it at the door of the bank! Sixth son-in-law: I took the shovel and dared to plant landmines in my mother-in-law's house! As soon as this remark came out, the old man and the other sons-in-law were stunned!

1 This kind of puppy that can understand people's words, I want to keep it! Our puppy can understand people's words. At noon my mother cooked lamb broth, and I gave her a piece of lamb. It looked at it and didn't eat it, and my mother said, "Thirty pounds of meat you give it to eat!" "I haven't pulled my hand back yet, and my dog took thirty pounds from my hand as soon as I heard it.

12, when taking the bus in winter, everyone loves to wear gloves, so that when holding the cold handrail, there will be no bone-deep feeling, but I do not have this habit, never wear gloves, once by the bus, two middle-aged women come up at one stop, come up to the side if no one chats loudly, just listen to a talk: "It's almost the Spring Festival, there are many thieves, and I pay more attention to thieves in the car." The other said: "But no, I told you that the average thief doesn't care how cold it is and doesn't wear gloves, just for the convenience of work..." After I listened to it, I didn't have gloves on the whole car.

13, pregnant for almost 3 months, morning sickness is more severe. One day on the road driving, the stomach overturned the river and the sea, really can't hold on, quickly a sharp brake to stop and open the window to vomit. At this time, a teenager riding an electric car passed by, looked at me with a look of disbelief, and muttered in his mouth: "Oh my God, this is my own driving motion sickness, this is it?"

14, the morning is still windy and sunny, noon suddenly changed the day, the temperature plummeted. When I went out in the afternoon, I put on an extra dress. When I was riding an electric car, passing through the train crossing, and the speed was reduced to the minimum, an old lady suddenly pulled on my sleeve, which frightened me, and I stopped and said: Big lady, I didn't hit you, what are you pulling me for? The old lady smiled: "You wear a cotton jacket in the summer?" I thought I was wrong, just pinched your sleeve, really!