At twelve o'clock in the evening, I was about to fall asleep, when the female neighbor called and said: "Old Li, my old King is not at home, you hurry to my house..." Her house lights are not on, and asked me if I would change

At twelve o'clock in the evening, I was about to fall asleep, when the female neighbor called and said: "Old Li, my old King is not at home, you hurry to visit my house..." Her house lights are not on, and asked me if I would change the light bulb. So I ran to her house with the light bulb. Me: "Isn't there a light?" She: "Bedroom's" so I came to the bedroom and I turned on the switch. I: "There is a light, then I went back to sleep" She blushed a little and said, "Oh, actually, it's my sewer blocked, I want you to help me get through" I suddenly realized: "Hey, go to the toilet first go to my house, tomorrow I'll help you get through." ......

2. The holidays are over and I'm going back to the school of evil again! Before leaving, my mother prepared a lot of things for me in large bags. Then he instructed: You should pay attention to the school, drink more water, if you feel thirsty, your body is dehydrated. I followed the example and said to my mother: Don't wait until I say I have no money to fight money, saying that there is no money shows that your son has starved to death!

3. I haven't seen my boyfriend for half a year, and I miss it very much. In the evening our family warmly welcomed him and asked him to stay. Just wanted to sleep, the sixth grade nephew came from his brother's house, tearfully said that he owed a lot of money to his classmates, depressed to sleep with him for a night to talk, the boyfriend resolutely took out five hundred yuan for him. The boy just left, the little niece who was in kindergarten came in, said that she had no snacks to eat, and felt uncomfortable to sleep with me for a night, no way, the boyfriend had to give another two hundred.

4. Working at SF Express, the married female manager became pregnant. In order not to let this matter go out, the female manager fired me. I looked for a job for many days, and finally saw a favorite, which was to work as a driver for the big boss, with a monthly salary of more than 90,000 yuan. When I went to apply, I found that the boss was a woman, in her forties. We didn't talk about anything, we talked a little bit about homework, and work experience. The boss brought me a bottle of nutrition express, and I shook my head and said I wouldn't drink it. Then the boss brought me another bottle of rock candy Sydney, and I still shook my head. Finally, the boss brought me a Chinese cigarette, and I didn't even think about it. Then the boss said no driver, let me leave, I was confused at the time, what is the situation?

5. In the past year, my mother would be nagging in my ear every day to find a boyfriend! But I've been busy with work, with time and energy to worry about these things. Yesterday she suddenly had a seizure and shouted: Don't let me see you! When I see you, I think of my son-in-law! Thinking of my son-in-law seeing you again can't help but want to beat you up! Oh my God! O earth! Is it really my mother?!

6. I talked to my girlfriend for three years and had a good relationship. Later, she thought I was poor and would not live a life, so she ran away with a man who drove a Passat. After some time, she came back, crying that she was pregnant, that the man did not want her anymore, and asked me to accompany her to beat up the child. I said lightly: Give birth, I raise. Later, I took good care of her and she treated me better than before. As a result the child was born and I ran!

7. Mom and Dad often quarrel over small things, but it is always me who gets hurt every time I have a fight, whether it has anything to do with me or not. This morning my father saw that I couldn't wear the previous clothes and said: You see that your waist is as thick as your mother, I really regret that I found your mother in the first place, her waist is so thick, and the shortcomings are still inherited by you. My mother heard an angry voice on the side: You regret me, I don't regret you? I also regret finding your father, growing a pig brain, and inheriting it to you. Well? Are you two arguing? Or scold me?

8. My girlfriend had a boyfriend in her junior year, which was a pure love boy. The brother once went out with the boy, too late, stayed in the hotel, the girl herself was confused and fell asleep on the window, and the next day woke up to see that her boyfriend was still sitting at the table reading a book! She asked, "What did you do last night?" Boyfriend: I read a penal book one night...

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #