The old man and the mother-in-law are already 100 years old, and today the two of them looked through the photo album together to recall the past. The old man was particularly emotional, and said to his mother-in-law: "Tomorrow we are like when we were in love."

The old man and the mother-in-law are already 100 years old, and today the two of them looked through the photo album together to recall the past. The old man was particularly emotional, so he said to his mother-in-law: "Tomorrow we will be like when we were in love, I will wait for you by the lake." "The next day the old man bought flowers, and he waited for a day without seeing his mother-in-law come." When he came home and saw his mother-in-law watching TV, he was furious. The mother-in-law said, "My mother won't let me go out." ”

2) The female colleague asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend and meet her parents. I asked her: What do I need to prepare? She thought about it for a while, smiled and said to me, don't prepare, be free, laugh more, usually what it is, just go through the motions, they see you, one hundred percent will force me to break up, this matter is OK, and then I will give you 5,000 yuan to play the fee.

3. On the board, a piece of dough wrapped in stuffing, immediately cow up, said to the steamed bun: "There is no connotation, what is the use of growing bigger?" He said to the bread, "How about more oil on the outside?" It's not the same as lying on the ground! The noodle said, "Are you waiting for the sauce?" Also from the imperial capital, your life is not good, do you have my fire? "The bun also boasts... At this time, the rolling pin came, so it was rolled into a pie...

4, Duan Zhengchun taught Duan Yu: "You said that you are not good at literature, and you are not skilled in martial arts, every day you know that you can eat, drink and have fun outside, you are idle, I think I studied hard enough to have a skill, and I gave birth to you who was actually like this..." Duan Yu bowed his head and replied: "Father, Wenzhi martial arts is really a carving insect skill for Yu'er, what I want to learn from you is... Girls! Duan Zhengchun was poked in the ribs by this remark, and angrily scolded: "Contrarian son, bubble your sister!" Duan Yuchang said, "The son must obey his father's teachings!" ”

5, the sister is still busy stir-frying when her brother-in-law returns from work, and the smoke is full of smoke. His hair was also disheveled and dusty, and his brother-in-law said, "I came home after a tired day, and I saw you like this?" I listened to my brother-in-law's words and threw the garlic in my hand and ran away, when I got home, I carefully freshened up, and when my husband came home, it was very late, slowly pushed open the door, saw the refreshed me, and then angrily shouted: "Tonight, what are you going to do?" ”

6. Lao Wang's daughter-in-law made trouble at home all day. Lao Wang couldn't help it, and found a matchmaker and said, "Didn't you say when you first introduced my child to you that you were a very good girl?" How is this now? The matchmaker explained: "I said she was a good girl, but I didn't say she was a good daughter-in-law!"

7, riding an electric car to send his son to school, the school gate met a girl in his class, the little girl just got off her father's Buick, laughed at her son and said, "Didn't you say that your father has a BMW, it turned out to be such a BMW." I thought to myself that this boy had bragged about it, but the son replied wittily, "Is there a BMW that needs to be driven to show you?" I'm not going to soak you. ”

8. After receiving the goods, I found that the clothes sent to me by the seller were not right, so I questioned him: "Boss, didn't I buy a white short sleeve?" How did you send me a black one? Seller: "That's right, I found that you buy a lot of white in that area, and in order to prevent you from going out and bumping into your shirt, I specially sent you a black one." 8 Today on the road to see a female driver parking a parking space, she went back and forth for a long time, is not able to stop in, I was in a hurry to see, I went to command a bit, the car finally stopped in, the tragedy is that she later told me that she was going out. I went, how do I see you turn around like that and don't look like you're going out.

9 Mrs. Mitchell said, "This morning I met a guy in the downtown area, and I knew he was a troublemaker. He offended me, scolded me, and even intimidated me when he opened his mouth." How did you meet him?" Mitchell asked her with great concern. She said with a straight face, "He hit me while I was driving."

10. Teacher Yao? "Yes, which one are you?" "I'm your student, and in junior high school, you will always be punished by you to call your parents Xiaoming!" "Oh, Bob! Is there anything to do with me? "That's right, Classmate Yao didn't do well in school, come to my office, I'm his class teacher!"

1 A dream, dreamed that a lot of things appeared in a scene, but nothing happened, after about half a year, suddenly when doing something, I felt the same as the scene in that dream, what is going on???

12, one day, with one or two goods brothers to donate blood, just when the donation was almost finished, he said to the doctor: "Try to transfuse blood to men, less to women." The doctor asked, "Aren't those who lose men the same as those who lose women?" Then my buddy said, "If you give blood to a woman, your aunt won't waste it." "Instantly I felt who this buddy was, I didn't know.

13, working in the top 500 has an unwritten iron rule, that is: can do things, it is better to be able to say things. Your ability to break the game is not as good as your ability to report. It's ridiculous and pathetic, but that's how society is. Savvy bosses are there, but not much, just don't expect it. Otherwise, why do you have to desperately learn PPT?

14, is at work, my wife called me to ask why I changed the password? She's now going to use my WeChat Pay to shop for a whole bunch of stuff. I broke out in a cold sweat, quickly adjusted my mood and said: "It is like this, the number was stolen a few days ago, so I changed the new password, so you wait first, I will send it to you immediately." "I put down the phone, just ten seconds, a cao deleted all the girl information in WeChat, I hope my wife did not find anything abnormal."