1. In a cold winter. On the bus, a relatively young beauty sat by the window, and although the window was closed, there was still a lot of wind blowing in. Handsome guy sitting next to him

1. In a cold winter. On the bus, a relatively young beauty sat by the window, and although the window was closed, there was still a lot of wind blowing in. The handsome man sitting next to him said, "Beauty, let's change our positions." Beauty hurriedly got up and said, "Thank you, this position is strangely cold." The handsome guy squeezed over and said, "Hey! The powder on your face blew into my eyes, and I couldn't even open my eyes! ”

7. Not long after working in the gym, I met a girl who liked my eight-pack abs.

Soon, she confessed to me, and I agreed, and I quit my job by the way.

On my birthday, my girlfriend gave me a Bentley, and I was bored and went to run Didi.

On this day, I took an order, and when I arrived, I found out that it was my ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend.

After being delivered to the destination, the ex-girlfriend asked pitifully, "Are we really unable to go back?" ”

I looked down and thought about it and said, "Hometown?" Yes, add 500 pieces and it's almost the same. ”

2. As soon as I entered the company, the vice president of the company threw an olive branch at me. After we were together for half a year, I wanted to take the vice president to meet his family, and I also met his family, and by the way, I would talk about marriage. Last week we were shopping together, and the vice president suddenly told me that her family was not far in front and asked me to take a detour. I wanted to take advantage of this opportunity to show up, so I didn't get around it. If the vice president's wife was not present at the time, I think this meeting should have been quite successful.

3. Foxconn became the team leader and took a female team member out to run errands today. In the car, we had a chat. After a while, the female team member suddenly said: Oh, how nice it would be if you were my husband. I was immediately excited, it seems that this group leader is not in vain, so soon to confess to the girl again? Just as I was thinking about it, the female team member continued: My husband is too handsome, and there are always wild bees and butterflies secretly sending autumn waves to him, and they are annoyed to death.

4. A young man begins to be very decadent after the failure of the business, eating and making lazy food every day, relying on the family to raise him. On this day, he came alone to the beach and met an elderly man on the beach. The old man grabbed a handful of sand and threw it on the beach and asked, "Can you find it?" The youth shook his head. The old man grabbed another pearl and threw it on the beach and asked, "What about this time??" The youth nodded. At this time, the young man suddenly realized: "A person, only by making pearls can he get the approval of others." The old man said, "I mean you're a real pig!"

5. Our company often works overtime, and once overtime, we often can't eat dinner. Then the boss will send food to each of us, listen to colleagues say that they should take their own dishes and chopsticks, and the canteen will fight more. When I wasn't done, I asked my colleague to go back to my dorm room and help me get my lunch box. After the busy, after eating, I saw a lot of people in the company group Aite me, I thought something big had happened, opened a look. My colleague did not find my lunch box, so he took the dorm fruit washing pot to the canteen to eat.

6. Yesterday the female colleague asked me to go shopping, the night view was very good, we went from 8 o'clock to 10 o'clock, she said: "Brother, I am hungry!" "I ignored it, she said shopping and not eating, so I brought money. Then it was 11 o'clock and she said, "Brother, I'm sleepy, there's a hotel in front!" "She was talking about shopping, so I didn't bring any money, but fortunately I still had thirty-three dollars, and I called a rental on the side of the road and sent her home." Then, I continued to watch the night scene alone, and I did not expect that the third-tier town was also beautiful. When I got home, I found that my female colleague had left me a message: "Idiot! "She's stupid, she wants to go to the hotel to eat, why don't you say it earlier, I can't find someone to borrow money!"

7. I was fired for stealing takeaway, and after losing my job, I went to the security department of Wanda Group. The front desk girl in our company looks very pure, and I fell in love with her at first sight. When I first arrived at the company, in order to talk to her, I let the courier brother put the package at the front desk after buying something online, and I went to get it after work. Toothbrushes, toothpaste, and even packs of cigarettes were bought online, all done to get close to her. After 2 months of unremitting efforts, she finally got along with the courier brother, and I really wanted to cry without tears.

8. The second brother wants to travel abroad, let the third brother help to look after the family, and before leaving, he will give a special explanation: the Tibetan mastiff at home is casually funny, don't provoke the parrot. After that, no matter how the third brother teased the Tibetan mastiff, the Tibetan mastiff did not bite. The third brother thought to himself: Tibetan mastiffs are like this, this parrot will also break the bird, what can I do? So I teased the parrot to play. As a result, the parrot began to speak: bite him!。。。 The Tibetan mastiff pounced...

9. After graduating from Tsinghua University, I was recruited by Futukang as the assistant general manager. A colleague in the workshop, transferred to the office last month, and I had an office. He had a high school diploma, but he could do anything, typical of the acquired learning type. I often ask him where I can't, and he always gets the hang of it. I jokingly asked him that day: Your academic calendar can't be fake, can it? As a result, he looked at me stunned for a moment and said the same thing.

10. When the middle school exam was about to take place, the teachers in our class would assign a lot of homework every day, and every time I had to write until the early hours of the morning. One night when I was halfway through my homework, there was a sudden power outage at home, and my mom lit a candle for me to write my homework. When I did the math test paper, I wouldn't do it when I got to the big question later, so I simply burned the problem a hole. Unexpectedly, after turning in the homework the next day, I was praised, and the teacher said: "Everyone should learn this spirit of hard work, there is no electricity at night, and the candles must be written." ”?

11. The farmer bought a box of consumable medicine, and after eating the rats, he walked away with a big wave. The farmer was very angry and theorized with the merchant: "Your rat medicine is useless!" The merchant said: "This medicine needs to be taken with warm water to be useful." The next day the farmer found the merchant again: "I listen to you, I caught the rats and served them with warm water, but it is still useless!" The merchant asked, "How many times have you fed it?" The farmer replied, "Once." The merchant said: "Look at the instruction manual, 6 boxes a course of treatment." "#Funny##Happy# #世说新年 #