1. After I resigned, my husband said very responsibly: "It's okay for me to raise you." I was a mess. Since not going to work, I have saved transportation, meals, telephone bills, cosmetics, clothes,

1. After I resigned, my husband said very responsibly: "It's okay for me to raise you." I was a mess. Since not going to work to save transportation, meals, telephone bills, cosmetics, clothes, bags to buy less, after a look, after resigning the family to save more money than when I went to work. What a situation, finally understand that he is so supportive of my resignation!

2, get up early to work this morning, a few uncles at the door of the community are walking birds, and hear the following dialogue: Uncle A: "Old Liu, don't work today?" Uncle B: "Don't work, yesterday I blackmailed a BMW driver, and I don't have to look for work anymore years ago." "I sweat!!!

3, the divine beast finally returned to the cage, in the morning to send the little nephew to school, he said: Aunt, today 520, someone asked you out? I smiled and shook my head, and the little nephew said: Aunt, I have mastered 52 skills of coaxing babies, you hurry up and give birth to a baby. I said: Your aunt has mastered 52 kinds of babybirth skills, you hurry to find me a boyfriend!

4, my baby two years old took a cookie to eat in the park, came over a little girl came up to grab, I took another piece to my baby, a piece to the child, she did not want my hand to grab my baby, her grandmother laughed next to her, said that her granddaughter is so strong, strong! I laughed and told the child that you would definitely not be able to hit your grandmother, and if you could hit me, I would give you all the cookies! Seeing this bear child punch her grandmother one punch after another, I laughed and boasted, this child is really strong, the strength is really big!

5, the sister-in-law is a female man, once she rode a bicycle to wait for the red light, one foot on the ground, one foot on the pedals. When I see a BMW, I want to hold the car by hand, because then the foot does not have to pedal the ground. As a result, the BMW's glass was not closed, and the sister-in-law's hand went directly through the glass and pressed on the driver's head. Because of this, the sister-in-law met the owner of the car and married into the rich!

6, and the leader to make tea, of course, I am responsible for brewing, I have a cleaning habit, every time I will hand over the tea tray with boiling water to clear again. And the leader was soaking in the middle of it, a fly flew in and stopped in the tea tray, I picked up the warm water to burn it, it slid to the side of the tea tray, I boiled the water and chased it. It wasn't until the leader said oops that I reacted, and the flies flew out of the tea tray, and I poured boiling water directly onto the leader's leg. Only to see the leader cover his legs and howl, I felt that this time I was estimated to be swept away.

7, that day at a friend's house, the mobile phone does not know where to find it, just borrow a friend's girlfriend mobile phone to dial, listen to where. Enter my number, press the dial key, and the screen will show her saved my name: "SB3." ”

8, the office has a poisonous tongue woman, talk is not sparing, she has a lot of acne on her face, but the special narcissism, the office people are annoyed with her, one day she took a selfie in the office, a colleague walked in to see her, and retaliated: "Yo, Sister Wang, scan the two-dimensional code." ”

9, recently the day is cold and frozen, the neighbor's little spirit, riding to school, just out of the community door slipped, the bicycle scraped to a car parked on the side of the road, the child is not ambiguous, learn to report on TV, left the name and phone. The owner of the car was touched for a while, and did not let her family lose money, and the neighbor did not want to give two packs of cigarettes. In the evening, I saw her and praised her honesty, and as a result, she secretly said to me: Uncle, I saw the camera at the entrance of the community!。。。。

10 At a banquet, several gentlemen were talking about their marriages, and one of them said: "I will never forget the day I got married, because the day I got married was the day before the outbreak of the Second World War." "What's so strange about that?" One of the people next to me said, "Like you, we fought as soon as we got married." ”

11 At a banquet, there were gentlemen talking about their marriage. One of them said: "I will never forget the day I got married because the day I got married was the day before the outbreak of the Second World War. "What's so strange about that?" A man next to me said, "It's like we fought as soon as we got married." ”

12, go to the physical examination to meet the old classmates who have not been seen for many years, he looked at me with a cup of pale yellow liquid in his hand, and looked at the cup of pale yellow liquid in his hand, he had to touch a cup with me, and the result was that half of his cup hit me in the cup, half of my cup was sprinkled on me, looking at the wet clothes I wanted to leave this place, I didn't think much, sent the liquid to the testing office and left, when I went to get the results in the afternoon, the doctor told me that I was three and a half weeks pregnant...

13, when my brother joined the society at the beginning of the year, he participated in the work once, and only then did he learn that there was a bonus for full attendance, a total of five hundred yuan, but if he was late, there was no one. I got up late today, so I took a taxi, but I was sadly stuck in traffic. I said anxiously to the driver: Master, what can we do to get past this traffic jam? I'm really in a hurry! The driver hesitated, gritted his teeth fiercely, and said to me with a serious face: There is a way for you to go down quickly, accelerate and run, and without charge!

14. The owner of the construction site took 8 workers to the restaurant to eat seafood buffet, 38 pieces of one. A total of 80 pounds of crabs, 120 pounds of lobsters, 90 large abalone, and 30 pounds of oranges were eaten. When I was ready to leave after checkout, I also brought 16 bottles of red wine. The waiter gave them a blank look and said, "You can't take it outside here." The owner of the construction site shouted: "Then give me another 200 pounds of pippi shrimp." The store manager hurriedly walked over: "Let them take it and go, hurry up and let me go!"