1, a certain village is often attacked by wolves, was eaten a few cows, so ask a hunter to fight the wolf, the hunter at night put on a cow skin to tempt the wolf, the result of the whole village all night to listen to the hunter miserable

1, a village is often attacked by wolves, was eaten a few cows, so ask a hunter to fight the wolf, the hunter at night wearing a cow skin to tempt the wolf, the result of the whole village all night listened to the hunter's miserable cry, the next morning the village people to look outside, the hunter was mounted on the tree, the ass is rotten, as soon as they saw the villagers asked: "Whose bull is not tied up ..."

2, yesterday only bought a new car, today female colleagues will come to rub, the key is not the way ah, if not she is beautiful, good figure, I do not want to agree at all. On the first day, she consciously sat in the co-pilot, and the next day she went to the back seat, I reminded her to pay attention to etiquette, she said: "Brother, I'm really sorry, my husband is not at ease with me sitting in the co-pilot." "On the third day, I poured a jar of glue in the back seat, the scene was still hot eyes, but I didn't expect that her husband came to me to lose her skirt, I said a word, he turned around and left, and the female colleague was beaten by him and cried. Guess what I said?

3, I am six months pregnant, reading the book said that the baby likes to listen to the voice of the father, the father should chat with the baby more. As soon as he told his husband, he immediately made up his mind to tell a story to the baby every day. The first night when I was going to bed, I spoke of "Ugly Duckling" in a decent way, and the next day I spoke of "Snow White". On the third day, I lay in bed waiting for my husband to continue to tell the child, and my husband scratched his head for half a day and said softly to my stomach: "Child, you review the stories you told two days ago!" ”

4, I have a lot of foot, usually I can't stand it at home. One day to buy shoes, the store girls do not know whether it is well trained or the store manager asked, must squat down to help me change shoes. Tried a pair of brothers, and tried a second pair. When I asked to try the third pair, the clerk said with tears in his eyes: "Big brother, the shoes here are not very suitable for your temperament, or do you have to go next door to see?" ”

5, one day a friend and wife quarreled and complained to me. I said that the next time I argue with you, I will throw her on the bed, and come to a bully to take a hard bow, and after conquering her on the bed, I will definitely be a bird. Friends said they could try it. The next day my friend happily invited me to dinner and said that the ideas I gave were good. A week later, seeing my friend's haggard look, I asked what? My friend yelled: What a bad idea niyade came up with, and now she thinks about making excuses to argue with me every day!

6, someone asked me and my wife why we have not quarreled for more than ten years. I remember the time I married her home, as soon as I entered the house, the dog in the house barked at her, and she said: The first time! The dog continued to bark, and the wife said: The second time! The dog kept barking, and the wife went into the kitchen and took a kitchen knife and hacked the dog to death. I scolded: How did you hack a dog to death?!!! My wife looked at me tenderly and said: First time! Since then we have lived a happy life.

7, there is a Hunan customer to our company to negotiate business, in order to invest in their favor, take her to eat Hunan cuisine. Although it was hot, I was dark, and the next day I still took her to the Hunan restaurant. Although the spicy chrysanthemum hurts, on the third day I still insisted on taking him to the Hunan restaurant, walked to the door, and the female customer said: In fact, I don't eat chili! Then we hugged each other to buy anti-inflammatory drugs. Now she's my wife...

8, today to catch a taxi, after I came up, a woman also followed up, but also forcefully told me to go down and say that she came first, I said that I obviously got on first. As a result, she hugged The appearance of Lao Tzu's number one in the world with both hands and could not go down. I laughed. Went to the front and handed a hundred dollars to the brother. Quietly said to him, Master, I quarreled with my girlfriend today, wait no matter how she cries, don't pay attention to her, be sure to send her to the airport, Master promised, good! Seeing the shadow of the taxi far away, brother hid his merits and names...

9, the old king next door drove out of the traffic accident, and the other car owner had a big fight, and finally both entered the house. When I went to pick him up, I waited for a long time, and finally waited until Lao Wang came out, and the first thing he said when he saw me was: Go brother, accompany me to get a fitness card! I was wondering, Lao Wang continued: Bai has lived for decades, and I can't beat that little cub, and I have lost the dead!

10. When shopping, my husband said to me: "I will never guess your mind!" Say which one you want to buy! Try it back and forth! So I said, "Is it hard to guess my mind?" I have tried on this mink skin for the eighth time, I just ask you to look good, is it so difficult? ”

11. In the final exam, everyone instigated Xueba to pass on the answers to everyone, and after leaving the examination room, everyone asked Xueba: "Why is there one less answer?" Is the last question no? Xueba replied, "No, I am the first question no!" "We: ...

12, in the morning, I urged my son: "Hurry up, and then you will be late." The son looked at the watch, it was half past seven, and he didn't hurry and said: "What is the use of getting up quickly, even if I am late to school, but we will not go to class in the first session." Me: "When did you change your first lesson to self-study?" Who knows, the son actually smiled evilly and said, "There is a little difference between self-study and self-study." This kind of self-study will give points. As soon as I heard it, I angrily said, "Dare to get me up and try to avoid the exam." ”

13. When I was studying in Beijing, my roommate and his girlfriend were pregnant, and I was very anxious inside! Call the rich woman and say: Mom, give me some money, my girlfriend is pregnant. The rich woman said: "Well, wait for my news tomorrow." The next day, the roommate said: Mom, why hasn't the money arrived yet? The rich woman said: Son, the wedding car has bought the full amount! Spot! Bring me back and get married! Your looks are good if someone wants to! Hurry up and get me back to get married.