1, the eldest brother and sister-in-law met in the bar, the next day after waking up the two slept in the same bed to determine the relationship. The eldest brother took his sister-in-law home for the first time, his father was on a business trip, and I was accompanied by my mother

1, the eldest brother and sister-in-law met in the bar, the next day after waking up the two slept in the same bed to determine the relationship. The eldest brother took his sister-in-law home for the first time, his father went on a business trip, I accompanied my mother, and everyone chatted very well. After eating and chatting together, my mother tentatively asked my brother the eternal scripture: "I fell into the water with your wife, who will you save first?" When the sister-in-law heard this, she immediately laughed and giggled and replied, "I will definitely save you first!" The eldest brother listened, nodded vigorously, and then said, "Yes, I will definitely save you first!" The old mother smiled, the smile was a little meaningful, and said: "Sure enough, I listened to my daughter-in-law!"

2. After the college entrance examination results came out, my father looked at my report card for a long time! The atmosphere in the house was very heavy, and the mother sat on the side without opening her mouth! Dad helplessly said: "You can't even go to a junior college with your grades, so re-read it!" Grandma angrily slapped her father on the shoulder and said angrily, "If you can't get on it, you can farm at home, what poison!" ”

3, today a good friend of mine announced at a friend party that she is pregnant, we are so happy, so I blurted out with great excitement, "Great, I must be a stepmother after the birth of the child!" Everyone was quiet, and I suddenly realized that I was wrong, so I quickly changed my mouth: "No, no, no, I mean stepmother." Actually, what I want to say is mom!!

4, the classic hilarious college entrance examination cold jokes, advice: those who have finished the college entrance examination, you have listened to me well, this time to learn a driver's license to work part-time work can do whatever you want, don't come to the game to harm people! In order to let everyone review the college entrance examination in a targeted manner, the teacher gave me a set of wrong questions. I proudly said: What other wrong set of questions do I want? I set the roll paper to the wrong set!

5, the neighbor's brother, twenty-eight is still single, others introduced a foreign girlfriend, the same age as him. The two fell in love immediately, and they fell in love every day. That time, everyone was watching TV, the TV drama was about sister-brother love, and the brother next door suddenly said to his girlfriend: If you are three years older than me, don't people say that the female junior holds a gold brick? His girlfriend replied with a grin: Rest assured, on the wedding day, I will definitely let you hold the gold brick. On the day of their marriage, the woman brought a three-year-old boy, who was the woman's son, and his name was Golden Brick!

6. Have you ever experienced the sound of an electric spark pia slipping from your hand? I've experienced it! When the parents installed the house to engage in decoration for a convenient and cheap, they packed the whole home decoration together to his friends, everyone knows that the acquaintance pit acquaintance this routine, spent money but can not get the due experience, it is not long before the light switch will be ruthless shovel electric spark out, the first experience scared you want to drill into the toilet, in the middle of the night Pia that is really too sour, the next issue in the spit under the pit daddy furniture

7, riding an electric car was stopped by a stewardess, she wants to take my ride! There was a lot of traffic on the road, and I pressed the brakes several times, each time her head hit me on the back, and then apologized to me. It's not easy for everyone, and I smile at you! The flight attendant got out of the car and said to me, "Handsome man! You have a good temper and do you have a girlfriend? "I was stunned! Happy in my heart, did the stewardess look at me? Just as she was about to speak, the flight attendant continued: "I work part-time at xx marriage agency, if you need to leave a contact information!" ”

8, classmates party, two classmates quarreled, the class brother of the year (now there is no prestige) took a knife from his pocket and stuck it on the table, saying who was arguing about who I killed. From now on everyone... Knowing he was with a table of 5,000...

9. Ten illusions of learning scum. 1. This lesson is not important. 2, these contents can be understood by going back to the book. 3, the exam should not be so difficult. 4. Write your homework and review it well. 5, I am difficult for everyone to be difficult. 6, this problem will not be learned. 7. There is still more time for revision. 8, write these formulas on the teacher should give points. 9, uncertain symbols write vague points the teacher is right. 10, this time should be able to pass. Talking too much is tears...

10, a friend came to play with me, I told him that I had a girlfriend, he listened to it and was silent for a while and said, "Do you love her?" Of course I said love, and then he said, You don't even dare to eat your beloved's, what qualifications do you have to say you love her? ”

11, one day after the peak of work, I have an empty seat next to me, but I dare not do it. Not only was there no one to sit in the empty seats, but there was no one within half a meter of me! I wondered if it was because I was so handsome that no one dared to come near me. At this time, the eldest master sat on the side, and as soon as he sat down, he covered his nose and said: Boy, put on your socks immediately, or I will chop your foot! I:......

12, on the weekend, about a few ex-girlfriends to eat together, in the restaurant, I found that one of the ex-girlfriends dyed a red hair, everyone said it was good-looking. The ex-girlfriend proudly said: This is called good luck! Everyone laughed. At this time, the waiter put on a grilled pork face and solemnly introduced: This is the signature dish of our restaurant, called Hongyun Dangtou. Freeze for three seconds in an instant, and then collectively burst into laughter, waiter, are you sent by a monkey...

13, netizens: the dog at home cried back, thinking that it was bullied by other dogs, a closer look at the heartache was broken, I don't know whose bear child took the toy gun to the dog's nose and shot a bullet, all embedded in it... It was hard to help the dog take it down, and left a pit, whose bear child, ah, does not have a little love for the dog?

14, I still remember the day of May 20th, I just arrived at the company in the morning to punch in, suddenly there was a courier into the office to send roses, the flower collector was actually a male colleague in our office! Our office was speculating that the girl was chasing him backwards, only to see him holding a confused expression, and then when he looked at the postcard, a slap was given to himself and said: "Sleeper, the recipient and the sender wrote the opposite!" ”