1. There was - the next night, zero morning - o'clock, when I went to bed, I gently touched - my wife, my wife said to me half-jokingly, yes; take 100 yuan, I hesitate

1. There is - the next night, zero morning - o'clock, when I went to bed, I gently touched - my wife, my wife said to me half-jokingly, yes; take 100 yuan, I hesitated - next, thought - down, right, I received earlier - a fake note, put it in a drawer, I took it to her, she was not polite, I accepted it, the next morning, she was eating early, I asked her, what about mine? She landed on me with her eyes, almost laughed out loud, controlled the bet, and then when she went out, she went to work--walking, laughing--going

2. The prisoner received a letter from his wife: You are in prison, no one has turned over a few acres of land in our family, the in-laws can't move, I am not in good health, and I have to see the children.

The prisoner replied: Don't plough the ground, there are guns buried in the ground.

A month later, my wife replied: The police came in batches 3 or 4, turned our home several times, tired enough to vomit blood and did not find the gun, where did you hide the gun?

The prisoner replied: It doesn't matter, you hurry up and farm, I can't help you with anything else! (Overseas)

3. Recently, I don't know if the school is going to organize any theatrical performances, a small fart upstairs, singing Lu Binghua at home every day. The key is that as soon as the song is sung, it is very late, and the parents do not say it, and there is no way to sleep. Last night, just as he was about to go to sleep, he began to sing again: "Stars in the sky..." I couldn't stand it anymore, ran to the balcony, and shouted: "Sam Beidou! "It's quiet now, and I haven't found it back to this day!"

4. My son is now in kindergarten, and during this time he likes to draw very much, but he generally can't understand the painting, and often comes to paint and say what it is painted. Today, I took a picture he had drawn before and asked him, "What are you painting here?" He tilted his head and looked at me for half a day and said, "Why didn't you come and ask me earlier, who can remember it after such a long time?" "I...

5. I went to eat noodles with my girlfriend at night, because my girlfriend couldn't eat spicy, so I said to the boss: Boss, a bowl of spicy, a bowl of slightly spicy. It didn't take long for two bowls of noodles with a lot of chili peppers, and I said angrily: Boss, what about the bowl of slightly spicy ones I want?? The boss looked at me, then put a bowl of noodles with a lot of chili peppers and said: Now that bowl is slightly spicy. I......

6. When I came back from a business trip, I was stopped by the handsome guy next door at the door: "Come back, you are not in these few days, I am living like a year." "My heart was racing and my heart was filled with ecstasy. Mom, this is peach blossom luck, it's too direct. Red-faced, I was thinking about how to respond to the handsome guy. The handsome man also blushed and said, "That, can you not turn off the WiFi on your next business trip, I can't play the game..."  

7. The niece of the sister-in-law's family is about the same age as the son, and the son goes to her aunt's house for two days on weekends. When he sent it back on Sunday, his aunt said with a flying eyebrow: This child is so naughty!? Toss the house to the sky!? I wondered: I'm glad to see you. His aunt: Can you not be happy!? Turned over his uncle's private money and found me more than two thousand!? I subconsciously wiped my pockets, thankfully I carried them with me!?

8. The sister-in-law is particularly beautiful, young and promising, starting her own business and opening a milk tea shop in the snack bar of the pedestrian street. But the business of the milk tea shop is very general and not booming. Since the last time, my husband used to help guard the store for two days, and the sister-in-law's business is extremely hot! After inquiring from many sources, I learned that the jianghu rumor said: "The sister-in-law's boyfriend is too ugly." "The handsome guys and girls all want to come over and try their luck and try to make her empathize!" Afterwards, my husband also said: "I am ugly and valuable!" ”

9. Five years ago, my wife had difficulty giving birth during a caesarean section in the delivery room, and I finally chose to keep small. After my son was born, I raised my son alone. Yesterday, I took my five-year-old son shopping and was greeted by a beautiful mother and daughter. My son and I exclaimed, "Wow! I turned to my son and said, "What are you talking about?" The son said unconvincedly: "I will wow what you wow..."

10. There is a goddess in the village who is particularly powerful, and her name is widely spread and very divine. The rich man's charming wife heard about it and rushed to find the godmother with money and children. The rich man's wife said: Master, my son may be frightened, help him call the soul, right? Godmother: No problem! Having said that, the godmother casts spells... A few days later, the rich man's wife came again, and he served his wife well: Master, my son is scared again, why is it always like this? Godmother: Remove your makeup at night, don't feed your child!

11. For unknown reasons, the brother-in-law is particularly afraid of his wife. I couldn't look at it and said, "Brother, why are you so afraid of your daughter-in-law?" The brother-in-law did not speak. I said: You live too much this day, brother tomorrow to introduce you to a gym, you go to play sandbags, just beat your wife, out of breath. The next day the gym coach called me: Your brother-in-law is all right, they have been kneeling in front of the sandbags for an afternoon.

12. My brother, who had just been pregnant, was bleeding for a month, and I thought it was a menstrual holiday, but I didn't take it seriously. The second month I fell and fainted, found out I was pregnant, and then lay in the window for a month to protect the fetus. In the third month, all kinds of morning sickness, vomiting darkly, I cried and asked my husband, "Do you think I can successfully give birth to a child?" Husband: "Can you successfully give birth to a child?" I tell you that as long as you want, you can successfully give birth to 4.5! ”

13. When I was a senior, my relatives were introduced to a small real estate company for internship, and I often heard colleagues complain about the boss Iron Rooster. A week after coming, just in time for a project to be completed, the boss said to invite everyone to eat and drink. After a few drinks, everyone was drunk and lying on the table. Only me and the boss looked at each other, and I felt a little embarrassed. Suddenly, a colleague next to me poked me in the waist and gently reminded me: "Get drunk, or you should check out!" ”

14. I can go to KFC with a salary the day after tomorrow, and now I am nervous to die, where it is not expensive, two people will not be tens of thousands! How can you pretend to go often, is it not to go in and sit down directly and shout: two, old rules, thank you? Shouldn't you yell out loud when ordering: Come and get a colonel's chicken nugget? What kind of food to order to appear to have an identity? The menu wouldn't be in foreign language, right? I'm so nervous! Can you help me?