Sleeping until midnight, I overheard my wife yelling, "Lao Wang is leaving, my husband is back." "As soon as I heard this, I was furious that your sister dared to steal people behind Lao Tzu's back." Instantly, I woke up my wife and asked, "Who do you say, Lao Wang?" The wife was blindfolded: "Old... Isn't lao wang you! "Yes, I just remembered, I am also surnamed Wang, I thought about it, as if there was nothing wrong, I continued to sleep contentedly.??
2. I have long heard that the bridge rice noodles on the pedestrian street are notoriously delicious, I: "Come to a bridge rice noodles, add quail eggs, enoki mushrooms, three grams of oil!" The waiter girl was very puzzled and said: "Handsome man, three grams of soybean oil or sesame oil?" Soybean oil is put by the chef I don't know if it is a few grams, sesame oil you put yourself. I said, "How can it be so hard to communicate with a group of uncultured people?" ”
3. Take 50 yuan and go to the small supermarket downstairs to buy Chinese cigarettes. When I got home, I found that the hostess had found me for 50 dollars more. I also don't want to take advantage of others, so I go and give it back to her. I said to the lady boss: Big sister, I just bought something you have the wrong money. She said very neatly: Why didn't you just say it? It's useless to say it now. So I had to go home again, and I can't blame it.
4. After the resignation of Wanda Group, I planned to go back to my hometown to raise pigs and promote the development of my hometown. When I got home, I was on the train, and next to me sat a pure and lovely girl. I didn't know how to talk, I was in a hurry along the way, but I just didn't know how to open my mouth. Seeing that I was about to arrive at the station, I planned to summon up the courage to make a desperate bet. Just wanted to talk to the girl, the girl glanced at me and said: Uncle don't worry, it will be at the station soon, there is a toilet at the station.
5. Today is the birthday of the goddess, and he has chosen this day to confess to the goddess. The buddies knelt down on one knee and held the roses in their hands, and we mingled in the crowd and shouted "Together", but the goddess did not say no. I was embarrassed, and an old lady selling tea eggs next to me couldn't look at it anymore. She came over and said, "Promise, I have only one regret in my life, that is, I missed the right person." The goddess was silent for a moment and took the rose... After that, I bought a few tea eggs and said, "Thanks to you just now, can you tell your story?" The old lady was expressionless: There is no story, your brother gave me a hundred pieces to let me say.
6. My cousin, who graduated from college but was particularly handsome, worked in an electronics factory and got the divorced female supervisor in less than a month. The female supervisor was especially kind to her cousin, every time she went shopping. The female supervisor would always take out her bank card and say to her cousin: "Take it, swipe it!" "I was particularly envious, so I told my wife about it." After dinner, my wife immediately pointed to the bowl and said to me: "Take it, brush it casually!" "I was speechless, I don't want to brush this!"
7. My cousin's parents hated his cousin's girlfriend for being too short, so they let them break up quickly. After the breakup, the cousin found a new girlfriend, and on this day the cousin and the current went shopping and met the ex. The ex coldly said to his cousin: You are diligent in changing girlfriends! Then ask the incumbent: Where did you buy your shoes? It's so pretty. Then the two of them chatted at first sight. Chatting and chatting, the two also went shopping, and in the evening, the current and cousin also proposed to break up.
8. Recently, friends bought a lot of summer clothes, short-sleeved shorts bought a lot, one by one looks cheap, but in fact put together and valuable. So my friend complained that the cost of buying clothes recently was too large, and others said that they could go to a certain amount of money to buy ah, and he replied that it was not good to look good. The man said: Not expensive, you see I am only 25 this piece, good looking. He didn't even think about it to compliment: good looking, 25 clothes you wear 250 temperament
#Funny# #搞笑段子 #
![You say strange no, I don't do anything as soon as the neighbor doesn't do anything, just play mahjong and can talk about five daughters-in-law. When he was young, he went to the city, and in order to marry his wife, he wore a white shirt and leather shoes, preferably[fig]](data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAP///wAAACwAAAAAAQABAAACAkQBADs=)