Mom Rice Cake shared an incident on her business trip in "Your Parent-Child Relationship Is Worth Tens of Millions".
A little girl ran to her mother: "Mom, do you think I'm doing well?" ”
Mom glanced at it and casually boasted, "It's good." ”
The little girl took it to her father again, and as a result, the father ignored the painting handed by the child and chanted without looking up: "Oh, I saw it, and I obediently played with it myself..."
Rice cake mother said that the time when the child really belongs to us is only a few short years, when shouting all day long that "parenting is a gradual and distant vision", why do many parents refuse to take a little time to seriously participate in the growth of their children?
Staying with your child but always inseparable from the mobile phone, is this kind of companionship really intentional? Is the mobile phone really more exciting and important than the child's growth process?
When parents play with their phones, children will use crying to pull their attention back.
If the child has tried many times and the parents have not realized their problems, he will give up the effort.
Because the child has subconsciously determined that he does not have a mobile phone in his parents' mind.
Therefore, putting down the mobile phone and concentrating on accompanying the baby is the most basic self-cultivation of our parents.
You don't know that the seconds you swipe your phone are destroying your child's key abilities for the future.
To be serious, the few seconds of brushing the mobile phone when accompanying the child, in addition to destroying the connection between us and the child, also destroy the most critical, most useful, and most core thing to accompany the child - joint attention.
Joint attention is the ability of you and your child to pay attention to one thing together.
This ability plays an important role in a child's early development. It is a key factor in children's cognitive development and can widely affect children's important abilities such as adaptability and concentration.
From an early age, we have a deep impression: crushing our school bully, always able to concentrate highly in class. When we envy "the hearts of other people's children", we always feel that they are more disciplined.
But in reality, what really plays a role in it is not willpower, but their ability to jointly pay attention. They can easily follow the teacher and adjust their attention.
This ability of children to adjust their attention depends on whether they have formed good joint attention with their parents when they are young.
Therefore, if parents can cultivate their children's joint attention from an early age, it is almost equivalent to letting his IQ hang up. What directly determines the effect of joint attention is the way parents accompany them.
Mommy Rice Cake has seen a study in which babies between the ages of 11 and 14 months know half as many words as their parents if they can interact emotionally with their children in a joint attentional way than children who have not been exposed to this form of communication.
By the age of 2 to 3 and a half, children with good joint attention will have a rapid improvement in their ability to continue to pay attention;
By the age of 4, children's skills in language, exploration, problem solving, interaction, and collaboration will improve rapidly because of the good joint attention between parents and him.
Posture and gaze play a very important role in the process of joint attention.
These two factors determine whether parents and children can maintain the same attention to the same thing, including from the pursuit of eye training in infancy to the gesture identification in early childhood, the face-to-face communication of nonverbal information such as eyes and expressions between parents and children, smooth your Q&A, and finally exploring novelties with him and cultivating common interests and hobbies...
The process of parents paying attention to their children, accompanying their children, and encouraging their children is injecting emotional power into him and allowing him to form an infinite cycle of benign perception.
This makes the rice cake mother have to sigh: when we can face up to our responsibilities as parents and ask ourselves not to play mobile phones when we accompany our children, we may seize the opportunity to stimulate our children's important abilities.
Many parents will worry about the impact of mobile phones on their children's eyesight and their children's addiction to games, but they have not reflected on themselves, whether they have invested all their emotions and attention in the process of accompanying their children, and as parents, have they set a good example for their children.
Stop absent-mindedly "accompanying" as companionship! Every minute that parents and children are together is using their own words and deeds to give their children a subtle influence.
Every child is eager to get the attention of their parents, and the concerned eyes of parents and mothers are the boosters for children to be better and work harder.
Even if you can only concentrate on five minutes without distraction and interact with your child wholeheartedly, it is better than you brushing your mobile phone twice next to him from time to time and sitting absent-mindedly for two hours.
Even if you don't have some kind of goal and ability, isn't the fact that you seriously grow up with your children the most incredible and exciting thing in the world?
Every story that the child listens to before going to bed should be told to him by his parents; every game that makes the child happy should be done by the father and mother with him; every affirmation and praise given to the child should be full of affirmative emotional temperature.
Put down the mobile phone to accompany the child, he can only grow up once.
I hope that parents can do it: I will accompany you when I put down my work, and I am full of confidence in doing work!
Finally, compared to the length of time spent with the child, what is more important is the quality of the parents' companionship with the child. Only parents who devote themselves to accompanying their children with their hearts can they truly enter the hearts of their children.