Children like to bargain, what about parents?

"Mom, I want to eat ten candies."

"No, five is always okay, right?"

"No, what about the three?" Isn't that nice! ”

"No, I haven't finished an episode yet." After watching this episode, I want to watch another episode. ”

Children all over the world seem to be the same, naturally this trick, watching cartoons, eating snacks, buying toys, as long as they encounter something they like, they will always fall into endless "bargaining" with their parents.

Should parents stick to their positions, or give their children a step to rejoice? It's a real headache.

Children always like to bargain, what should parents do?

The mother of rice cake shared in "Your parent-child relationship is worth tens of millions" that at the beginning, the mother of rice cake was a little angry about the "inching forward" of rice cake.

But if you think about it, is it really completely bad for children to bargain?

When trying to eat more sugar and a piece of cake, what is it that really makes children feel satisfied and happy?

It's a sense of control.

For children, most control activities do not have a clear purpose, like bargaining, even if they try to eat an extra piece of sugar, watch an extra half-minute cartoon, and dance happily, but not because of the sugar or the half-minute cartoon, but because they experience the joy of controlling the situation.

So, for the child, more satisfied than taking an extra piece of candy and eating an extra bite of cake, he finds that he can get a little control from adults through "negotiation"!

"Bargaining" with adults for a certain purpose is a manifestation of the child's stronger connection with the outside world.

From initially controlling the self, to controlling external objects, to trying to "control" others, children will gradually grow in this process.

So how can we promote this kind of growth without making him pampered and willful by blindly satisfying him?

The formulation of principles, the most important thing is that everyone can abide by it together, the rice cake mother never allows the family to say "you obediently reward you with an ice cream" "Eat this meal can eat lollipops" and the like, if adults usually tempt children like this, by giving benefits, talking about conditions to discipline them, then children are easy to talk to their parents about conditions in turn.

Mochi likes to eat sweets, Mochi's mother respects him, and the weekly dessert day is also to let him enjoy the food, which is his right, not the method used by parents to discipline him and make him obedient.

In addition to principled issues that affect physical health, rice cake mothers have even begun to encourage their children to bargain and make appropriate concessions.

Because the mom of rice cake knows that a certain sense of control obtained from bargaining can make children better manage themselves.

Children are like a mirror for adults, and they always learn the routines of adults very quickly.

But we often overlook that children actually have a sense of autonomy, and bargaining marks the germ of this awareness.

To some extent, bargaining can reflect the child's ability to cooperate with others and communicate actively, which is also an indispensable part of elite education.

Instead of stifling children's bargaining opportunities, it is better to slowly guide their fighting spirit and negotiation momentum to the right path.

When a child can make his voice heard and get the opportunity to be recognized, his self-confidence and self-esteem will gradually be built.

Most importantly, when a child dares to bargain in the face of his own desires, rather than just promises, it means that he knows that whether his claims will eventually be accepted or rejected by his parents, he has the right to speak out.

From taking the initiative to being able to negotiate and reach consensus with parents, this not only means that the process of communication and cooperation between parents and children is effective, but also proves that family education has been truly successful.