As a parent, what is the respect for the child?

There was a little boy who came to the experience class who kept crying and saying that he didn't want to learn, and his mother persuaded him for a while to no avail, so he began to say to the child: "Now there are two little people in your heart who are fighting, one says he wants to learn, one says he doesn't want to learn?" ”

The child nodded.

Mom asked, "Then who won?" ”

The child was happy and said, "Those who say they don't want to learn win." ”

Unexpectedly, the next second, this mother broke the work.

After hearing the child's answer, she pulled down her face and said seriously: "No, it must be said that those who want to learn have won, and there is only one result." ”

This scene is not to make people cry and laugh.

Our generation of parents has begun to learn to "respect children" and "understand children" on their lips. Just like this mother, she seems to have learned a lot of parenting knowledge, understands a lot of routines, and seems to have tried to let the child express her opinion.

However, when the conflict really happens, she still only has the routine of "pretending to hear" and does not really respect and understand. In the long run, the parent-child communication path that should be smooth will inevitably be blocked.

As a parent, how can you truly respect your child?

Mom Mochi said that the premise of respecting the child is to understand the child first.

For example, the weather is cold now, and the elderly are worried that the child will catch a cold and will chase the child to ask him to dress. But the more the old man chases, the more resistant the child is.

There is nothing wrong with the elderly wanting to dress their children, but the elderly are trapped in the adult thinking of "I want to dress you" and cannot understand why the children are not willing to wear more clothes.

As a parent, you can choose to listen to your child's thoughts before you let your child obey, and listen to the reasons behind his reluctance to wear more clothes.

When the child feels your respect, rather than the parents stubbornly making decisions for him, and the parents treat him in a way that the child can understand, the conflict between parents and children can be easily resolved.

Mom Rice Cake said in "Your Parent-Child Relationship Is Worth Tens of Millions" that the real respect for children is to see them as people with the same decision-making power as ourselves. Of course, this does not mean that the child can do whatever he wants, and let the child make his own decisions on everything.

However, giving children the right to express themselves is the first step to respect.

To give children the right to express, what parents need is patience and trust. Many times, we are too anxious, lest we are not strict enough, lose our prestige, and make it more difficult for children to discipline in the future.

Children refuse to wear coats, drop meals on the ground, adults' thinking can easily slide to "so difficult to manage, disobedient, what to do later."

We are in a hurry to define, we are anxious to discipline children, but we can't give children a little time, give children a little trust, and listen to what children have to say first, which is the most common parenting impasse in Chinese families.

Therefore, the mother of rice cake suggests that everyone do a training: when you find that your child is making trouble, disobeying, and you are going to blurt out the words of anger and lessons, first crouch down and hold the child and ask him what happened.

When there is a crisis in the parent-child relationship, we should not focus on who loses and who wins, but should focus on solving specific problems. When there is a conflict between parents and children, everyone's needs need to be heard and respected. When you are too anxious to educate your children and block the channels of communication, you will miss the opportunity to listen to what your children say again and again.

When your child is telling you the truth without reservation, let the road of parent-child communication remain smooth! When the road is blocked, you will not be able to use any effort.