I have wine and tea, and if you have a story, come to me.
Click "Follow" above, and you are my person.
The Watchman in the Rye: "In the midst of a struggle, if someone throws an understanding glance at you, you will feel the warmth of life, and perhaps just a brief glimpse will be enough to make you feel excited." ”
Struggling can be a person to a low point, or it can be emotionally frustrated, but anyone in adversity will be accompanied by struggle. In this case, people's emotions are relatively low, from the psychological level, what is most needed is not to give real help from others, but to understand and understand.
This is most true when a person is emotionally in adversity. Whether you are full of disappointment, or full of complaints and hatred, you will definitely want to find someone to talk to, and you will hope to be understood and considered by others.
Perhaps you have also had such an experience: a person who understands you is booing and greeting you, and you can no longer hold back when you are stretched, and you cry bitterly. This is the "warmth" mentioned earlier, which can make a person's emotions find a gap in venting, and can help people get out of the trough psychologically.
The problem is that not everyone encounters angels when they are struggling. Some people encounter the devil, and you are already aggrieved enough, but he says that you are arrogant, that you are okay, and even reverses the black and white of right and wrong, and blames you for all the faults.
The following woman has had such an emotional experience, let's take a look at it together.
Hello Mr. Donglin:
I would like to ask you: If your son betrays his daughter-in-law, divorces and marries true love, and fails his daughter-in-law, will you protect your son or will you teach your son for your daughter-in-law?
I think that anyone with a little conscience will not protect the son who has made mistakes, and will teach his son a lesson for his daughter-in-law, rather than turning a blind eye to his son's mistakes while asking his daughter-in-law to swallow his anger.
From this point of view, my previous in-laws were people without conscience, represented by my mother-in-law. When her son betrayed me and wanted to divorce and marry true love, she never criticized him once, but acquiesced to his approach. If I hadn't made a fuss, she would have turned a blind eye.
She wanted me to divorce her son and fulfill her son's new feelings; she also wanted me to break my teeth and swallow it in her stomach, and she didn't agree to the divorce no matter how much her son scolded, to put it bluntly, she wanted me to be a cowardly wife.
I certainly wouldn't be as she wished, because my values wouldn't allow me to swallow my anger. As a result, because I agreed to the divorce, she went around telling people that it was my problem, saying that because I had a problem, her son would fall in love with others: "My son is so sensible, if he didn't marry you, he would definitely not be able to love others!" 」 ”
There were so many problems in the marriage, it was enough for me to suffer, she didn't understand me, even if she fell into the well and sprinkled salt on my wounds, how could I continue to be kind to her.
I am not dumb, I can also tell others, and I am more confident than her, because I am not wrong, everything I say to others is a fact, the eyes of the masses are bright, and everyone will judge for themselves who to believe.
Soon, no one believed her words, and she no longer dared to show her face; then, her precious son was punished, and he ended up with a "two-man and two-rich" situation. At this time, she began to make a fuss about me again.
She did not say that her son had suffered retribution, that her son was in debt, that she asked me to remarry because she wanted me to pay off her son's debts, but that she said: "My son has changed from evil to righteousness, so you can remarry him!" I vouch for my personality that he will never fail you! ”
personality? It's ridiculous that a person without personality should talk to me about personality!
Since she wants to play me like a monkey, I will play with her. Instead of explicitly rejecting her, I first agreed to remarry and then attached two conditions: "You ask me to remarry, which means that you realize that I am fine." Since you admit my goodness, then how should you mother and son do the same to me before? Don't compensate me eighteen million, right? In addition, you are more disgusting than your son, I hate you, if we really remarry, we must stay away from you, the house you buy, write my name, and must pay in full! ”
It is precisely because I know the situation of their family, and because I know that they are absolutely incapable of accepting the conditions I have proposed, that I dare to be unscrupulous. She felt embarrassed, just right, can't meet my conditions, don't expect me to remarry!
This experience made me understand a very important principle of being a person: who makes you love and can't, you should have a soft affection for whom, don't dare, otherwise it is yourself who is wronged. What do you think?
Donglin Xiting Emotional Advice:
I think her experience is particularly good, because it is necessary to be selfish at the right time, and it is necessary to be kind to people who are not worthy of kindness.
Not allowing yourself to continue to be hurt, preventing others from continuing to hurt yourself, this is also the category of "loving yourself", and it is more meaningful than allowing yourself to eat and drink well in good times.
As for the four words of "love but not", it can be divided into three situations to understand.
If it is only "falling flowers intentionally, flowing water is merciless", the person you love does not love you, you have not officially started love, in this case love can not be, you should let go instead of retaliation, because others have the right not to love you.
And if you and a person have begun to fall in love, he failed you halfway, let you love and not, and even accompanied by harm, in this case, it should be thin, otherwise your mentality will be unbalanced, dragging on for a long time, even if the last beat is two scattered, you will still feel aggrieved and unwilling.
Then there is the "respect or love" level of love and can not be, such as daughter-in-law love mother-in-law, not only did not get the love of the mother-in-law, but also got more harm on the basis of marital problems, in this case should also be thin affection, otherwise whether you swallow or escape, will become the arrogance of the other party, in the long run is not good for you.
When encountering the latter two situations, we must dare to be thin-minded. You don't dare, or you are cowardly, and the person who bullies you will not hurt you because of this, but will bully you more and more, you don't love yourself, and people with bad intentions won't love you. Only when you dare to make yourself strong inside and dare to turn your face to the people who bully you can you maintain yourself and love yourself.