To be precise, my real husband's path is only more than half a year, because my husband and I have just received a license, and the wedding has not yet been held.
But in 178 years, I used these eight years to turn a giant baby who could not live without his parents into a man who could shelter our little family.
Recently, the word "giant baby" has been hot, and various articles have criticized the giant baby, and the few famous words that my husband said before, and it is estimated that he will be drowned by the saliva of many sisters in minutes.
Quote one: How can my parents be wrong
When he first fell in love for a year, his family's business was difficult to do, and he planned to cooperate with his aunt's family and find another way. I said, pretty good, signed the contract? His shocked expression to this day, I still remember.
His originally small eyes stared, and he said in an unpleasant tone: They are all relatives, what contract to sign?! I said that the brothers and sisters should settle the accounts, write in black and white, and perform their duties, and no one should complain about anything, otherwise they will not earn money in the end, and their relatives will not have to do it. I just say it in passing, it may also be young and vigorous, and in his opinion there is a bit of a lesson.
He has always had a good temper, I am an only child, nothing to love to play with small sex, he can tolerate one by one, but this only thing touched his reverse scales. He yelled at me: We are on good terms! How could my parents make a decision that was wrong!
Quote two: My mother wants us to... She's one of my sons
After talking for three years, the two of us watched a movie together, and there was a wedding scene in the film. The two of us chatted about the plot, but as we talked, we talked about his mother's Christianity. I was puzzled, because I knew from the beginning why he was talking about it again.
But the next words made me understand his purpose of letting me watch the movie. He said to me, "Let's have a wedding in church, it's grand and meaningful." I said, "I don't believe in Christianity, I don't." He then said, "My mom wants us to have a wedding in church." ”
I was very displeased and said, "My wedding wants to be done according to my own ideas, and this is the only time in my life." He said urgently, "But my mother is a son of mine, so we can't even satisfy her wish!" ”
Quote Three: You're going to kidnap me from my parents
When we talked for four years, I once told him that after getting married in the future, everything should be based on the interests of our small family. He snorted, rather unimpressed.
I was very dissatisfied with his attitude, and continued, if your parents' needs conflict with the needs of our family, you must first meet the needs of our little family.
He is a very traditional boy, and when he hears this sentence, he is furious: Then you don't mean to let me take care of you before I encounter something!
I said: It's about small families first. He interrupted me without waiting for me to finish, it wasn't you, you just wanted me to satisfy you first, I think you just wanted to kidnap me from my parents!
To this day, I don't remember many of the love words he said, but these three sentences impressed me deeply. A young man in his twenties, but inside he is a baby boy who cannot do without his parents.
There is nothing wrong with his parents' words, he wants to fulfill his parents' wishes, he must always be with his parents, with his parents as the center. This classic concept is simply the label of identifying the giant baby boy, foolproof.
Fortunately, it took me eight years to turn a giant baby into a real man. He will point out the mistakes of his parents, he will respect my decisions in our affairs, he will say that I am the most important person in his life, and he will defend me in front of his parents.
The bitterness and bitterness of it are known only to me, but I succeeded in the end. If you want to talk about experience, there may be a few Tips that you can share with your sisters.
There is a bottom line, dare say no
I'm not a good-natured girl, and I'm sure to fight back against someone who violates my bottom line.
When he said that his mother was one of his sons, why didn't we satisfy her, I didn't hesitate to hit him back: Then you and your mother go to church for a wedding!
Now it seems that I didn't say this properly enough, but in the context of the time, it was the truest expression of my anger.
Your bottom line determines how others will treat you, and if you refuse clearly, others will trample on it mercilessly. Some girls want to retreat into advance, but they do not know that once they give in on the bottom line issue, they will be unable to do anything, and then make a big fuss, and if they pull down the other party's hat of "you are unreasonable to make trouble", they can only be heartbroken.
Some girls are too afraid of loss, even if the other party breaks through their own bottom line, they would rather endure, may endure for a while, it is difficult to endure for a while, and the final result is not to erupt in patience, to become an incomprehensible madman of men, that is, to perish in patience, just like the mother who took two children to death.
He who will take what he wants, he will give it first
In the emotional world where women are the most, the verbal criticism of giant baby boys is overwhelming, but there is little reflection on giant babies and girls. Many girls accuse men of being mommy, and at the same time, they ask my mother-in-law to have a house, my mother said to have a car, my mother said, and my name should be written on the real estate deed.
How a giant baby girl who has not grown up can only end up killing and falling in love with each other. You fucking, my fucking words, ended up turning into fucking curses.
From the first time I took my husband to my house, I would defend him in front of my parents. My mother used to speak in a reproachful tone, but she only targeted me and my dad. My husband has gone a lot, and my mother likes him very much, and she talks with a little bit of casualness to me.
Once she asked my husband to help her do some physical work, my husband was naturally obligated, and it was hard to sweat and rest, and my mother said, how can you be like Little X (me), you have to leave a tail to do some work. I noticed that my husband was embarrassed and anxious to go over.
I reached out and stopped him and said, you are tired for half a day, I will do the rest of the work. I dragged my mother to work, and as I did it, I said to her, I know you didn't say that to him as a foreigner, but he wasn't biological after all.
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When you are good to him, you can be like me, and if he does not do well, you can tolerate him as much as you treat your guests.
My husband was sitting not far away, and he could hear my words to some extent. Later, he said that he was particularly touched at that time, and he thought in his heart that if I went to his house, he would definitely defend me.
It can be seen that sometimes it is not that they do not defend you, but that they do not have this consciousness and do not understand this method. You will give what you want, and on the way, you can set an example for him.
Arm yourself with knowledge When we first fell in love, I was always by my own nature. If he didn't satisfy me, he would scold him, for example, when he said that his parents were not wrong, I would argue with him and say that he was dumb, and for this reason, we did not speak for many days.
Later, I read some books about intimate relationships, especially after paying attention to Pan Xingzhi by chance, I had a deeper understanding of the problems of both of us.
For example, when he was young, he went to other places with his parents to make a living, watching his parents work hard and not wanting to make his parents unhappy, so he developed an obedient personality; for example, even if he was such a huge baby, I could still tolerate him because he could help me make up for the scars brought to me by my original family in many cases.
More importantly, I am trying to practice and do according to the instructions in the article, and I understand that what he needs is affirmation rather than blame, so when he shows the side of the giant baby, I will no longer be as swearing as I did at the beginning, but clearly tell him my thoughts and needs, and communicate calmly with him.
As he begins to work on his way from a giant baby to a man, I will express gratitude for every effort he makes, even if the effort is not obvious at the beginning.
Nowadays, my husband is often called "twenty-four filial piety good husband" by colleagues and friends. My girlfriend also said that you are too lucky to meet such a good man. But only I know that there are such good men that I can easily meet.
The three "grooming" experiences summed up from seven years of love seem simple, but every step I take has my tears. Fortunately, we didn't have time and didn't fail each other.