No one knows that this year's reader, who is only 40 years old, is a woman who has experienced three marriages.
In the first marriage, the man was the reader's boyfriend in college, and the two of them walked from the school uniform to the wedding dress, and the reader thought that this man could accompany him all the way.
But I never thought that the man who obeyed his own words before marriage would be so unbearable after marriage, chatting with other women about explicit news, and the reader could not bear it and proposed divorce.
The second marriage, is introduced by the family, it is said that the other party is a person who lives a life, is down-to-earth, has no flowers and intestines, eats a long and wise, and the reader also feels that a man is most important if he does not spend his heart.
So she started her second marriage, and she didn't think that although men were honest, they were not stupid, and they refused to pay their salaries after marriage, and all the expenses were spent on readers.
Men have always regarded the reader as an outsider, have been guarding her, how much money to earn, how much savings never say, the reader feels that such a marriage is full of calculations, and what is the meaning, so, and then proposed divorce.
In the third marriage, the reader no longer thinks too much, just hopes that a person can live well with himself, so the family introduced a man, the reader did not know much, and agreed.
Fortunately, although a man is wooden, he is really a person who lives a life, willing to spend money on readers, and the salaries earned are given to readers, which makes readers experience the warmth that has been missing for a long time.
After so many changes and three marriages, readers have also discovered the "secrets" from marriage.
In fact, the happiness of marriage must be more choice than business
In the TV series "A Tree of Peach Blossoms", Bloom married Luo Yaohui for the first time, and the result was that the other party was a mother treasure man, obedient to his mother, even if Bloom was wronged, he did not hesitate to stand on his mother's side to accuse Bloom.
Blossom was fed up enough, divorced, and later met a second man, who was clumsy, but would give Bloom a blatant preference, no matter what happened, would stand behind Bloom and give her encouragement and peace of mind.
The choice of marriage is like the choice of buttoning when wearing clothes, the first button is buttoned, then the next will be smooth and smooth, otherwise everything can only be torn down and started.
Therefore, we must choose well, even if the marriage is not happy, do not compromise, but choose to stop the loss in time.
As Lu Qi once said in "Love Needs Stop Loss": "In this world, what you want, you will get." If you get something you don't want, you have to throw it away in time, otherwise you will get more and more wrong. ”
How much a man cares about a woman depends on the woman's own worth
Psychologist Adler described the law of couples getting along in "Inferiority and Transcendence": "Marriage is actually a job, it has its own rules and rules, we can not only choose one part of it, avoid the other parts, without compromising the eternal law of the earth - cooperation." ”
In other words, the most important thing between husband and wife is cooperation.
So what is the most important thing in cooperation?
It must be the value of two people, because there is value to be able to cooperate, otherwise it is a one-line thinking, that is, a person's crushing or one-way payment.
When a woman's own value is irreplaceable, whether it is beauty, economic strength or social status, as long as there is value, then the woman will not lose the competitiveness of marriage no matter what the situation.
Marriage does not mean that after two people step into marriage, they can only face each other, marriage should be two people holding hands to face the world together, so that marriage can truly be happy and long-lasting.
Women should not lower their posture at any time
There are always women who will take marriage as a measure of their own value, feel that after a failed marriage, they will depreciate, let alone experience a second and third failed marriage, so when they step into marriage again, they will involuntarily become inferior, and then in the new marriage.
But in fact, a failed marriage can never prove anything, it can only show that we are not suitable for the man, and we do not need to deny our own value and lower our posture like this.
Moreover, don't think that marriage is the only criterion for realizing value, even if we don't get married, we are still the most unique self.
Writer Zhang Xiaoxian wrote in "Thank You for Leaving Me": "When love is absent, learn to live your own life. To live your own life is to fall in love with yourself, to treat yourself as your lover, and to spoil yourself. ”
No matter what everyone in the world says, we must take our own feelings as the first meaning, no matter what others think, we will never disturb our own rhythm, because the things we like can naturally persist, and we can't like them for a long time.