As a person grows older, his dreams are no longer light, he has tried to give away a heart, and he has been sleepless for a person.
After tasting the bitterness of loss, experiencing the helplessness of thinking but not getting, and gradually understanding that these are the indispensable costs of growth. It allowed me to have a complete worldview and learn to be compassionate and forgiving.
As you get older, it may get harder and harder to let go of your own thoughts and habits and try to get along with another person. But the so-called right people must be able to accommodate and pay each other, if only unilateral efforts, it is not called feelings.
The biggest premise of loving someone is that I love you, and you are free and happy.
The relationship between men and women is always flowing and changing, if you and a person can have a good intimate relationship, it means that this person may be very suitable for you in some ways, he will heal your sense of alienation from the intimate relationship, and will make you feel that I can still love a person like this.
It turned out that my position in his heart was so important that I was not wrong in my original choice.
01
On the contrary, you will find that the pillow person does not have you in his heart, he does not love you so much, and everything is his own drama. You know,
In all morbid intimate relationships, there is mostly a "good" man.
This "good" is in quotation marks, partly because when two people are together in the beginning, they will indeed show a good side, willing to please you, willing to carry the weight for you.
You have also paid for this "good", choosing to marry him, or live together, and over time, you gradually find that this "good" will make you lose your dignity and true love.
As someone who came over confessed:
"In the face of the pain of life, I constantly scolded myself in my heart: why should I have inertia, it is inertia that hurts me. Because he was used to his goodness, he didrmant in the comfort zone like a lost soul, but unfortunately, after all, it could not last long, 12 years have passed, and he is happy in pain and helpless. ”
02
If given another chance to choose, she would certainly not choose such a "good" man. Young girls who do not know how to choose a mate are also segmented.
The average woman is always looking for someone to satisfy her laziness and giant babies, and higher-ranking women will choose a mentor-level life partner.
Choosing a mate is not like buying something in the mall, you can take it back if you don't like it, more often, once you identify a certain person, you can't get rid of his shadow for the rest of your life.
Most women need a man who is worth looking up to and relying on, this kind of looking up is not simply to say that men earn more money than themselves, very manly and the like, but can lead you spiritually, in many places can make you feel that he can lead you forward, in their own development, can be independent, but also interdependent.
Such an intimate relationship is benign.
03
In fact, the so-called goodness of men to you is initially willing to please you to do, some even just disguise, put you in the home, in his eyes is just a decoration, this kind of man is very terrible, if he drags you, it is even more terrible.
Like this case:
Once in a relationship, I said to that person, I want our relationship to be relatively free and absolutely possessive, I love you, you are free, and so am I.
But the other party asked back, do you want me to leave you alone, and do whatever you want? No explanation. At the beginning, he was good to me, but later found that more and more out of tune, in his world, men and women are absolutely equal, why men want to accommodate women, why I have to let you, women are too troublesome, even the foreplay of communication between the body He is troublesome, straight to the subject.
Later when I found out that he would rather solve it himself than touch me, I decisively greened him. Now that I think about it, he was the man who gave me the worst experience and made me unhappy in life.
04
Her experience once again confirms that in intimate relationships, pouring you warm water and buying you a barbecue in the middle of the night are not rare species, and the reality is that some people, both men and women, are moved to die and live for these low-cost efforts.
The real scarce resources are each other's conversation, each other's knowledge, each other's business vision, each other's ability to control the situation, the other party's emotional stability, do not underestimate the above characteristics, to cultivate these advantages, the cost is extremely high, can not be sought.
The best spouse is an ally on the battlefield of your life, not someone to meet your laziness and giant babies.
Unfortunately, most women do not have such insight and pattern, always confused to marry themselves, and only after marriage do they begin to regret it.
"When I was young, I didn't understand anything, and when it was time to fall in love, others introduced one, and when I saw him, I didn't have a feeling of heartbeat, I only knew that I should get married, in fact, when I was in contact, I also knew that the three views were not in line, but I also heard that people said that it would be good to get married."
05
At that time, the idea was very simple, that is, if you feel bad after marriage, you will leave, but after having a child, it is for the child, and when the child grows up, he will leave, the big quarrel will be three or six nine, the small quarrel will be every day, and now he is almost fifty years old, and he can't leave it, which is my lifelong regret. ”
It is true that the vast majority of women do not understand love and men at just the right age, and when they do, they have long lost the right to choose and start again.
At this point, you can only regret it for life, if you know at the beginning that some men's "good" is like a poisonous apple, you can't eat it, maybe there won't be so many tragedies.
A good intimate relationship can make your heart rich, know how to love, and know how to be loved, rather than sinking in the mire of pain all the time.
Men's "good" is preconditioned, there is never no reason to be speechless love, some people are good to you, in order to sleep with you, so they will only stick to it for a while.
06
In all extramarital relationships, no one knows this feeling better than the person who experienced it. Some people are good to you in order to marry you, so they will stick to it until the day you enter the cave.
Some people are good to you, they want to get something from you, or get some kind of resource, and in the adult world, especially in the love of middle-aged people, most of them have a purpose.
Those confusing sweet words are vulnerable to the torrent of reality, like there are more or less lice under every gorgeous coat, but others can't see it.
Therefore, only people who are calm and quiet in their hearts can live a quiet life, I love you, I hope I deserve this love.
It's not tiptoeing to get to your chin, or it's that I jump very high to pick the fruit, but you happen to be right next to me, I can reach it, really love me, and not use the so-called "good" to trick me.
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