1． Dad had long felt that my son didn't look like me, and eventually hid it from me and took my son to do DNA, which showed that the grandfather and grandson did not have a half-cent relationship. The wife cried to the death and was willing to live

1． Dad had long felt that my son didn't look like me, and eventually hid it from me and took my son to do DNA, which showed that the grandfather and grandson did not have a half-cent relationship. The wife cried to death and was willing to prove her innocence with death. So, I personally did a DNA test with my son, and the results showed that the two were father and son. Then my dad and I went for DNA testing, and it turned out that we didn't have a half-cent relationship. The old mother cried to death and was willing to prove her innocence with death. So, I did a DNA test with my mother, and the results showed that we were also not related to half a cent. Excluding genetic mutations, there is only one possibility in the hospital to hold the wrong child. Overnight our family rushed to the hospital where I was born. The old nurse flipped through the yellowed paper file and finally said that there was only one boy born that day and at the same time as me, called xxx. My wife was stunned, and so was I. Carefully checked all the information of the little boy, and finally determined that the little boy was the wife's "brother". The wife trembled and called her father-in-law and mother-in-law and her "brother-in-law." Her "brother" was abducted to do DNA testing with my father and mother," and I was abducted to do DNA testing with my father-in-law and mother-in-law. The results showed that my father-in-law and mother-in-law had a father-son mother-son relationship, and my wife and brother-in-law and my parents had a father-son mother-son relationship. In other words, my wife is my own sister, and I am my wife's brother. But we are brothers and sisters, and the children are the products of close relatives, so why is there nothing unusual? In the end, I had to do another DNA test with my wife. The test results showed that the two did not have a half-cent relationship. Fortunately, my wife is not my own sister. I'm not my wife's brother either. so...... Who the hell is she? With doubt, I looked at my father-in-law's mother-in-law's biological parents. The wife was very excited, and tearfully forced the two old men to ask who they were. The biological father said, "You... I actually picked it up from the garbage heap. ”

2． The brother-in-law and his sister were engaged and bought a new house in Tomson' Best, which was 100,000 yuan. Unexpectedly, the mother-in-law transferred 100,000 yuan to her brother-in-law with Alipay the next day. So the brother-in-law bought a house of 1800,000, and also bought 2 large toy pigs wrapped in bamboo charcoal, and put them on the sofa to absorb formaldehyde. One day, Dad and Mom came to visit the house. The second elder sat on the sofa drinking tea, and his mother suddenly asked: "This new house has formaldehyde, have you put anything to suck it?" Need to buy greenery? The brother-in-law said without hesitation: "Yes, there are two pigs sitting on the sofa helping to take drugs..."

3. The cousin is a spiritual boy who has learned to smoke from others, and has been for more than ten years now.

Last month, he worked as a driver for a landlady at a company. On this day, the cousin's smoking addict smoked in the stairwell and was seen by the landlady,

She said: "Smoke is good, be careful of lung cancer." The cousin played the soot and said, "I am waiting for someone who told me to quit smoking, would you like to be that person?" ”

4. The landlady blushed and said, "Nasty." "The next day he was fired by the boss because the boss was allergic to the smell of smoke!

I remember when I was young, when I came home from school, I suddenly saw a small golden retriever on the side of the street, and it was frozen and shivering in the winter, so I decided to adopt it when I was so soft-hearted!

Pick it up, put it in your arms to warm it, and then go all the way back.

When I was waiting for the traffic light at a road junction, I suddenly felt that someone was patting me on the back, and I looked back at Uncle, who pointed at me breathlessly and scolded: "Dare to steal my dog, I chased you three streets!" ”

5. The younger brother has not been a learning material since he was a child, so after graduating from high school, he went to learn to cook. The younger brother and his girlfriend planned to get married, went to visit their parents, and when they got home, they were very diligent in giving the mother-in-law's family a missed hand. Super level play, eating girlfriend family full of red light. After the meal, the future father-in-law said happily: I haven't eaten such a delicious dish for a long time, do you want to consider an activity I have? The little brother was stunned and said: What activity? The future father-in-law smiled and said: Buy one get two free, you marry my daughter, with our old two how?

6. The company forced employees to work overtime for two months in a row, but every night my husband would drive Jaguar to pick me up downstairs on time. Unfortunately, yesterday my husband went to a classmate party, drank, and drank too much, so he had to let a friend come to the company to pick me up. At that time, my mobile phone was out of power, and I didn't know about it, and I was standing on the side of the road waiting for my husband, only to see a black van stop in front of me. A man came down and asked: Are you Xiao Zhou's wife? I nodded, and the other party was about to pull me into the car, and said: I am entrusted by someone to give you a ride. I listened and struggled desperately, and quickly escaped...

7. The wife changes her number, calls her husband, and deliberately changes her voice: "Guess who I am?" ”

When the husband heard this, he immediately became happy and said, "My good sister, you are Xiaomei, right?" The wife was furious and restored her voice: "Who do you say is Xiaomei?" ”

The husband was shocked, and quickly changed his tone and said, "You guess! Who am I? ”

8. The pregnant wife wants to eat hairy crab, and I am constantly in the sand to the seafood market. The uncle who sold hairy crabs took a room scale and weighed it, immediately took it down, and said that he wanted 138 pieces. But I could clearly see 135 blocks on the scale. Anxious to go home to get food for his daughter-in-law, he did not argue with the uncle, so he took 150 yuan to the uncle. Uncle actually found 25 yuan, I think God opened his eyes, took the money and hurried away. When I got home, I gave myself a slap because the hairy crab forgot to take it!

9. Twenty-nine years old this year, reduced to an elderly leftover woman, the mother gave the order to die, this blind date, must be taken. I was a little nervous at the beginning, and I stuttered a bit. Look at me like this, the other party talked about the troubles of childhood, speaking of funny, I wanted to cover my mouth to show a lady's style, who knew that covering too tightly, the air all spewed out from the nostrils, blew a big snot bubble, poke can not be popped, the result can be imagined...

#Funny# #Funny# #年度搞笑名场面 #