The first time I slept with my boyfriend, I hid in the bed and didn't dare to come out. My boyfriend saw that I was unwilling and embarrassed to force me, so we fell asleep at a long distance. arrive

The first time I slept with my boyfriend, I hid in the bed and didn't dare to come out. My boyfriend saw that I was unwilling and embarrassed to force me, so we fell asleep at a long distance. At night, suddenly the boyfriend said that this life is so short. At that time, I slipped into his arms and asked him shyly: Have you ever fought for anyone? As a result, the boyfriend came to say: My stomach has been frozen for an hour, and I don't cover the quilt anymore, and I guess I really have diarrhea.

2. Our community opened Jiasha County snacks the year before which were delicious. Just a few months ago, when I came back from school, my mother took me to her house to eat, and I watched the Shaxian snack lady greet customers with a big belly and busy before and after, and my mother said that she must be pregnant with a boy. Yesterday my mother and I went to her house again to eat ravioli, and when we saw that the boss lady had a small belly, my mother asked: I gave birth to a boy, or a girl! The hostess didn't like to take care of us both, and then I asked aloud again, and she replied: I lost weight. yes!

3. In Maotanchang Middle School, there was a final exam, and the math paper fee was issued. However, I have never had a test paper with my table. In the end, my test paper was finally sent down, I only took a 9-point test when I looked at it, and the same table laughed and sneered: "You are really stupid enough, only 9 points, where is the courage to share the table with me?" At this time, the math teacher shouted, "You are still laughing, come up and get your exam paper!" "The same table returned to my seat with my own test paper, and I only scored 3 points when I saw it, and I laughed out loud. At this time, the math teacher said quietly, "You two really deserve to be at the same table." ”

4. At the wedding, the bride and groom are kissing sweetly. Suddenly, Ichifu Ii rushed up and shouted, "Stop! Then he took out a bank card and said to the groom, "Take it, there's 10 million in it, you give me the bride." "You count something, don't mess around here, roll me!" The groom took the card and turned to the bride.

5. Fa Xiao is a career type, so now there is no object in his thirties. Some time ago, the blind dates arranged by the small family were one after another. But recently I found out that suddenly none of them have been arranged! Curious, he explained to us: "My mother said that recently harvested wheat, I have to go to help work, so when the wheat is finished, I will go on a blind date..."

6. Now that the influence of Chinese is getting stronger and stronger, it is really difficult for foreigners who come to China to travel without learning a little Chinese. Once at the train station, I saw a foreigner sitting next to me. He was using Google to translate english into Chinese, and I glanced at something Presumably I wanted a burger fries coke or something. After a while, he went to McDonald's to order food, and after working hard to explain to the waiter, he finally breathed a sigh of relief. The waiter was also very happy and asked him: What burger do you want? Do you want chips or small potatoes? Coke is medium or small...

7. The other day I went to her house with my sister, and when I saw her father, I was nervous and couldn't speak. Then his father laughed at me, saying that my courage was so small, and such a small thing was also afraid of the stage. Actually, I didn't want to tell the truth, her father was the director of my high school teaching office. When I fell in love early, I let him teach a lesson, and said that I had a bare life all my life, and I would marry my daughter to me if I had a brain problem...

8. I am 26 years old this year, and I still don't have a partner, so my dad introduced me to the matchmaker. Yesterday, the matchmaker introduced me to a girl of national color and heavenly fragrance. After meeting at Starbucks, I said: Once upon a time, my family was poor, but life was very happy, and after school, my father would ride me home in an electric car! The girl couldn't help but ask me: What about now? Me: Now Dad gave me his electric car and he bought a new one himself!

  #Funny# #搞笑段子 #