In the recent hit drama "Perfect Partner", Wu Min, as a married person, has a close relationship with her husband Sun Lei, and when something happens, she looks for Sun Lei for the first time, instead of looking for her husband, and gradually makes a mess of her marriage relationship with Sun Lei. This plot triggered a heated discussion among netizens, and the focus of the discussion was "Married should not keep a distance from the opposite sex?" ”
On this issue, Lemon's view is that as long as a person is not single, he should keep a distance from the opposite sex around him, because feelings that lack a sense of boundaries often go wrong!
In the feelings, the sense of boundary is very important, a person with a sense of boundaries, it is possible to resist the temptation of the outside, so as to maintain their feelings.
But the reality is that even if many people have an object and are married, they will not pay attention to the boundaries of interaction with the opposite sex around them, but will continue to have close contact with other members of the opposite sex as before marriage.
For example, they often go out to eat alone with the opposite sex, have physical contact when joking with the opposite sex, always chat with the opposite sex at night, share their hearts and interesting things in life, and so on.
If their wives mind this, or protest, they will also show an innocent look, saying that everyone is just good friends, there is no possibility of being together, that the wife is too stingy and too careful, and then in turn asks the wife to be generous and tolerant.
Lemon found that many people have encountered such a situation in marriage, has your other half ever "fooled" you like this?
To put it bluntly, if you have endured your partner's transgression once or twice, then you will face his countless transgressions, because your patience and connivance once or twice is enough to make him form a long-term social relationship without a sense of boundaries. And this will deeply hurt your feelings, affect your relationship, and even destroy your feelings.
When he chooses not to focus on the boundaries of interacting with the opposite sex, he voluntarily gives up on you. Like what:
When he chooses to send the opposite sex home for the so-called "social etiquette", his inner thoughts are: this opposite sex thing is more important than your feelings;
When he shares his life and confides in other people, it means that in the limited time and energy, he chooses others instead of you;
When he runs out of the house in the middle of the night because of a cry or a phone call from the opposite sex, it also means that your priority in his heart is ranked after the opposite sex;
……
To put it in layman's terms, these behaviors are like blunt knives cutting flesh, cutting a little is not painful, cutting a lot of times will kill people. Over time, you will feel more and more aggrieved and unwilling in this relationship, until you can no longer stand it, and then have a big fight with him, and finally the two people are not happy.
It can be said that a partner who lacks a sense of boundaries often can't give you the happiness you want, and he brings you more indifference, disrespect and hurt, and these are the fatal wounds that destroy feelings.
Therefore, if you find that your other half lacks a sense of boundary when getting along with the opposite sex in your relationship, don't be prevaricating by his reasons, and don't wait for him to change his mind, but formulate rules and punishment mechanisms for the two of you to get along as soon as possible, guide him to abide by boundaries, establish a bottom line of behavior, and gradually cultivate his sense of boundaries. In this way, you can prevent problems before they happen and defend your feelings.
May you cherish the loved ones around you, learn to love, give love, and harvest love.
If you have other emotional issues and don't know how to deal with them, you might as well tell Lemon about your situation and I'll advise you.
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