Zhang Junhao, a 14-year-old junior high school student, still has eight months to take the middle school entrance examination, but he is addicted to playing with mobile phones.
Parents reflect that when Zhang Junhao was at home, the mobile phone did not leave his hand, eating, sleeping, including going to the toilet will hold the mobile phone, headphones worn all day long. His parents told him to put down his mobile phone and learn to read, but he pretended not to hear it and continued to play with his mobile phone.
Before Zhang Junhao was a particularly obedient child in the eyes of his parents, his academic performance was particularly good, and now his academic performance has plummeted, and his parents are very anxious and have to ask for help from the nursery teacher.
The nursery teacher came to Zhang Junhao's room and found that there were many things in his room that had nothing to do with learning, and learned that he was a positive and uplifting big boy with many hobbies. The nursery teacher tried to chat with Zhang Junhao, but he answered the parenter's question while looking at the mobile phone.
After the nursery teacher walked out of the room, he learned from his mother that Zhang Junhao's academic performance in elementary school was very good, and the learning in elementary school was arranged and regulated by his mother, and he no longer let his mother intervene after entering puberty.
In the process of chatting with the nursery teacher, the mother had a surprising move, she actually observed what the child was doing through the lock hole in Zhang Junhao's room, and the lock hole was even more surprising that the lock hole was opened by the mother.
Adolescent children crave independence and freedom and hate to be spied on by others, including their parents. Therefore, his mother's practice will cause Zhang Junhao to be extremely disgusted and angry.
Therefore, when his parents took turns to go to his room to persuade him to put down his mobile phone to study, Zhang Junhao put on headphones, said that they were very annoyed, let them go out, and threw a word to his father: I did not go to your room, why did you come to my room. The family basically did not have any communication and reached an impasse.
After the parenter's observation day, there is a family meeting, and she thinks that Zhang Junhao is an adolescent child, and he is very eager to participate in the formal conversation, so she offers to let him participate in the family meeting.
At the family meeting, the parenting teacher mentioned that if parents do not respect and protect the privacy of their children, it is difficult for children to do what they have promised to their parents, and mutual trust between parents and children cannot be established. For adolescent children, they will give up their goals because of this factor of distrust.
The real reason for Zhang Junhao's declining academic performance is that his mother did too much in elementary school, resulting in his self-management ability being too weak, and he did not know how to plan time to achieve his goals, so he would play mobile phones to fill up time.
To change the current impasse in the family, first of all, parents and children must trust each other, and secondly, to cultivate Zhang Junhao's self-management ability and true self-independence. In order to let Zhang Junhao develop the habit of self-management, the nursery teacher discussed the target management plan with him.
Let Zhang Junhao clearly know what planning and efforts he needs to make in order to achieve his goal of going to the ideal high school, and in the process of discussion and thinking, let him understand that the test score is the goal he set himself, not the nagging of his parents.
The nursery teacher opened the family's communication through Zhang Junhao's childhood photo album, and at first Zhang Junhao was slightly embarrassed and awkward, but later as the interaction with his parents became better and better, he also became comfortable.
He also took the initiative to confess his mistake to his parents, realizing that his previous behavior was inappropriate, and his parents also said that they would trust him in the future.
Finally, Dad reinstalled the lock in Junhao's room, which is also a lock that represents trust.
As a parent, we must learn to respect and protect the privacy of our children, and boldly let our children plan their own learning and life, so that children can truly be independent and live their own wonderful!