A very real and realistic passage that says:
"Now many couples are wine and meat lovers, two people together can only eat and eat, fight the king, travel, send each other a little gift, occasionally make a little mood to drink a drink, this is just to find a companion to escape growth together, once encountered real problems will produce contradictions." 」
This is not love, it is just an illusion of love that arises from the filling of desires, so we must first understand what true love is?
True love is growing together, facing life, having firm convictions and determination, and then bringing about the strength of generosity and generating positive motivation.
Because of love, there is giving, sacrifice, and dedication; because of love, there is understanding, tolerance, and change.
It's never about finding someone to satisfy your romantic love fantasies, or someone to satisfy your laziness and giant babies. At the same time, love is also a very heavy responsibility, testing each other's loyalty, behind which is the restraint of human nature and the management of desire.
When the passion fades, is it love, there is no love, in order to fully surface. On the surface, marriage is a cooperative relationship, a relationship of interests, and it is not important to love or not to love, but in fact, in the face of those real tests and crises, only love can ensure that the marriage is as safe as Taishan.
Otherwise, it has really become "husband and wife are the same forest bird, the big trouble is about to fly separately", good times are good, bad times, can also be shot and scattered, all the problems of human nature are magnified, lack of restraint on human nature because of love.
People have flaws, and it doesn't matter as long as there's no issue of principle, so what really matters with the key, man, is marrying a woman who really loves you.
1. Only with love can we have the values of common struggle.
If she loves you, but loves herself more, or only herself, then marrying you comes with a blessed attitude. The various conditions for marriage seem to be correct and reasonable, but the deep meaning behind it is that the values of common struggle are missing, and if they are not married, they think of the guarantee of divorce in case they can't go on.
As Fu Seoul said:
"I still believe to this day that if you love someone, you are willing to suffer with him. If you are willing to enjoy happiness with one person, what is love? ”
Love is not a, you have to live a hard life, but also want to live a good life, but when the conditions are not allowed, you can accompany you to create a good life, and there is a special spiritual belief to support yourself.
2, there is love will cherish and protect your home.
Truly treating that home as your own home is definitely your own home and harbor. Then she will no longer have the psychology of "loss" for her family's pay, sacrifice and dedication, and take on her own responsibilities.
Be able to do everything you need to do for your family, and never allow others to destroy your family.
Otherwise, you will have a high-hanging attitude, feel that nothing has anything to do with yourself, you are only responsible for enjoying happiness, when you encounter family affairs, you are willing to deal with it, and if you are not willing to deal with it, you will pull it down. Big deal, I can still go back to my mother's house and treat my home as a hotel.
Find a common goal, even if there is a reduction in the quality of life, and be willing, as long as the family is getting better and better, put the interests of the family first.
I am most afraid that those exquisite egoists will directly smash themselves on you and ask for them from you in various ways.
3, there is love to have tolerance and change.
If she doesn't love you and constantly criticizes your flaws before marriage, then she will only blame you more and more after marriage. There is no inclusive heart, which also means that when you are cute, he will love you, but when the passion fades, when you are no longer cute, when there are shortcomings exposed, she will not explore your cuteness again.
What's left? Belittling, questioning, counting, hitting, mocking, and so on.
Marriage is a relationship of interest, but you can't be exactly the one you need, otherwise the relationship will break down when you can no longer satisfy her desires. And people are greedy, the demands will be more and more, the desire will be bigger and bigger.
What is change? It is a change of self, because loving you, for your happiness, for the harmony of the family, for the longevity of the marriage, can realize the parts of yourself that need to be changed, and change, instead of just asking for you.
4, there is love to have the necessary determination.
Sharing a fate together, and the determination to have to work together, after the argument, you are still the one who can say "I do" again and again.
When the passion fades, in the face of temptation, you can also manage your desires, restrain your emotions, and make the right choice again and again because of your love for you. That special determination, belief, and obsession is so powerful that it can even overcome all darkness.
At the same time, love will also make people sober, know what things can be done, know what things cannot be done, and avoid impulsive behavior when emotionally.
The feelings between husband and wife are the most precious and special, but not every couple has them, let alone the feelings that can be cultivated by being a husband and wife, but with love as the premise, through a piece of triviality, and accumulated love over time.
So now you should understand why you should marry someone who really loves you, there are some things that didn't exist at first and won't have them later. What can be cultivated is habit, not love.
Many things that you think are important are not really important; many things that you ignore are often really important.
Whether there is love or not, maybe the way of life is still the same, the reality is cruel, but it can ensure that the course of your life will not deviate, and find the center of gravity in life, just like the anchor in life.
Marriage is a major event in life, but also a turning point in life, and the gap between people is really opened from this time. Because some people's marriages are internal friction, they can't be consumed for a lifetime.
At least she loves you, will not be blindly demanding in the marriage, willing to change herself, your marriage has a long-term possibility. What kind of partner you want to find, it can be done, but the premise is that there is love.
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