Author | Inspector (1397 words, about 4 minutes to read)
For a normal person, there will be their own "seven passions and six desires".
Happy to laugh, unhappy to cry, angry and angry... Having emotions is also a normal expression of emotion in life.
Having emotions is not a bad thing, the bad thing is that you can't "control your emotions".
Adults have emotions, of course, children will have, but many children are not allowed to have temper, when children cry, parents will say to them: "Don't cry, there is nothing to cry!" ”
When children are angry, parents will say to them, "The wings are hardened!" Dare to get angry! "The child's emotions have nowhere to vent, dare not lose their temper, then for the parents, the child is obedient, but for the child, the long-suppressed emotions can not be released, it is likely to suddenly erupt, a hair out of control."
Children who dare not lose their temper are prone to go astray
No one is a sage, and no one can be blameless.
In life, it is normal for differences and contradictions between parents and children to occur.
But if parents use violent and coercive methods to force children to bow their heads, then this harsh rebuke will be engraved in the hearts of children.
And if the parents, after taking advantage, not only did not give them reason, but instead showed their sharp edge and blindly oppressed them to yield, so that the children did not dare to lose their temper.
● Then it is very likely to raise a "timid and cowardly baby";
● Or the child can't vent at home, he will go outside to find a place to vent, which is likely to lead the child astray, do the wrong thing or even irreparable.
★ Parents blindly assert sovereignty, and they cannot make children form self-awareness
For such long-term oppressed children, their psychological needs can not be met, can not communicate reasonably with their parents, if the parents do not solve this negative emotion, but instead use the wrong way to scold the child, which means:
● Children's emotions are forcibly suppressed in the bottom of their hearts and do not completely disappear.
And this hidden emotion will also trigger other negative emotions, which will suddenly erupt one day.
If there is no outbreak, it means that the child's self-consciousness has been forever branded on the imprint of the parents, they only listen to the parents when they do anything, they have no thoughts, no emotions, no self-awareness, it is an empty shell, dominated by the parents.
So can such a soulless body face the world independently?
Parental oppression may cause children to develop violent tempers
When violence is used against violence, sometimes it only provokes greater violence.
And if we use our strength to suppress this dissatisfaction, then one day this dissatisfaction will create greater and more serious consequences.
Children will not always be obedient, they will also grow up, they will also come into contact with other people and things, when they have a certain amount of power, they will release the long-standing sense of oppression in their hearts.
Moreover, children's emotional control ability will become worse and worse, they may imitate the irritability of their parents, rebel against their parents, and finally parents can only eat their own consequences. Therefore, violent oppression is not the best way to educate children.
★ The right way to do this is to teach children to guide and control their emotions
From another point of view, if children are willing to lose their temper with their parents, then they regard their parents as the closest people, knowing that their parents will understand themselves and will not leave them.
Thinking of this, how can parents bear to use violence to oppress them?
When encountering contradictions and differences, parents should use a gentle tone to comfort them, accompany them, and let them vent all their emotions. Wait until they regain their senses and tell them the truth of things and how to control their emotions.
● Believe in heart to heart, communicate with love.
In this way, children can be educated to a greater extent, so that children can control their emotions and become more rational in the future.
Spicy Mom Quotes:
Since ancient times, it is better to block than to loosen, if you blindly suppress the negative emotions of children, then you can only solve the problem for a short time, and it is likely to erupt more violently in the future.
Only by guiding them to recognize such bad emotions and trying to control them can we really solve such problems from the root causes, and enable them to react and face them quickly when they have negative emotions in the future.
Only those who reasonably vent negative emotions and can correctly control their emotions can get true peace and tranquility in their hearts.
Parents, can you control your temper?
(Image from the Internet)