For every parent, I believe that the proudest thing they are to cultivate an excellent child, but whenever parents are in front of the outside world and encounter each other praising their children, they will always show a "modest" side.
In order to show their so-called politeness, they often deny their children, because everyone feels that this is a kind of etiquette, but this practice often brings harm to children.
And these 3 kinds of "Chinese politeness" are slowly destroying your child, but parents are still complacent and unaware.
The excessive modesty of the parents makes the children very aggrieved
Linlin is a very good child, from childhood to adulthood has been very hard, whether in terms of learning, or in other aspects of performance, she belongs to the kind of "other people's children".
So it's common to be praised by others, but whenever a child encounters this situation, she is actually very happy, and she will politely say thank you to the other party.
Lin Lin liked this feeling very much, after all, this was a personal recognition of her, and she would not be complacent because of it, but would continue to work hard.
But Linlin's mother is not like this, every time she hears others praise her child, she will be happy inside, humble on the surface, and let the child be very devastated.
Every time my mother would say, "In fact, my family Linlin is very stupid, and the good test this time is also her good luck", "My child is as good as you say, and your child is far behind!" "Wait, and when Linlin asked about her mother, her mother was a kind of politeness, and the child didn't understand."
analyse
Slowly, Linlin became more and more decadent and lost, she felt that her efforts could not be affirmed by her family, but every time her mother had to hurt herself, she also began to hate her mother.
In fact, there are not a few parents like Linlin's mother in life, who feel that this is a polite approach, although their children are excellent, but they cannot be too inflated.
Therefore, suppressing the child's pride can not only make others think that we are low-key and polite, but also make the child work harder and realize his shortcomings.
But the real result is often that children will be hurt by such practices, they begin to feel inferior, they begin to stay away from their parents, they begin to be unwilling to work so hard, and parents are still proud.
These 3 common "Chinese politeness" are not conducive to children's growth
1. The older child must let the child go
Parents have been instilling in their children the idea that older children must let the younger children, because the children have always been a vulnerable group in the eyes of the parents and should be protected.
But whether they are older children or small children, they are all children, and is it just because they are a few years older that they are the reason for unfair treatment?
2. The child performs a show in front of friends and family
Because their children are very good, parents usually ask their children to perform in front of friends and relatives in order to show their children's talents or set off the atmosphere of the scene.
But most children will refuse because they are embarrassed or introverted, and such an operation will bring some psychological trauma to the child.
3. Be overly modest in front of outsiders and deny your child's efforts
Children are excellent is excellent, they also need parents to affirm themselves, so that they can get the motivation to continue to move forward, but parents blindly too modest, children will be very hit.
Therefore, in front of outsiders, parents must praise their children appropriately, do not always deny their children's efforts, and when children have not been recognized, they will begin to give up.
【Intimate Message】
It is a good thing to be polite, but parents should be polite correctly, not blindly passing on negative information to their children in front of the outside world when encountering anything.
Only when children are properly recognized and encouraged will they have the confidence and energy to continue to move forward, and we should not ruin children because of vanity.