Dictation: Wang Shuzhi
Text: C
Pictured: Vulgar photography
It is said that raising children to prevent old age, old people have nothing to worry about, this sentence fell on me, but it changed its taste.
I have lived a lifetime, and I never dreamed that the flesh that fell from my body, when I was old, first kicked me around like a leather ball, and then like a stepmother fighting for my son, until I was pulled to pieces.
One
My name is Wang Shuzhi, I am 76 years old, and I have been living alone since my wife died of a serious illness ten years ago. The old house collapsed a few years after the death of my wife, and the sons refused to repair it because of each other, and since then, I have been living in a small house of thirty square meters in the village left by my late cousin.
I had a baby late and now my oldest child is 45 years old. In the past, I was in good health, I had no problem living on my own, and I didn't want to go to the city to trouble my sons.
In the past few years, my health has not been as good as before, and I am often dizzy, so I plan to return the small house to my nephews and move to my sons' house. Cousin on the nephew a son, the family conditions are general, last year there was a son, now a family of three, plus the parents-in-law who take care of the child live in a two-bedroom house, but also never mentioned to return to the small house, for this I have been embarrassed to occupy the old.
After I said what I thought, none of my four sons wanted me to move in.
The eldest son and eldest daughter-in-law first took me to the hospital for an MRI examination of the head, and the results were no big problem.
The eldest son said that his parents-in-law will retire next month, and they all agreed to let his father-in-law and mother-in-law move in to pick up the children. So that there is no extra room in the house for me to live in.
The second son offered to give me a monthly living expenses, and each family added another hundred yuan, so that I don't have to be afraid to spend money and buy whatever I want.
The third son was afraid of his wife, and the third daughter-in-law did not open his mouth, nor did he speak.
The fourth son has been idle, his job is unstable, divorced last year, and this year he found a girlfriend to live in the woman's house. Now that the daughter-in-law is preparing to become pregnant, it is natural to see the daughter-in-law's face and dare not open her mouth.
I felt uncomfortable in my heart, and I thought about holding on for a few more years, although my body was not as good as before, but I could still maintain myself. But the performance of my sons really disappointed me.
A year later, I often felt numbness in my hands and feet, and once my legs suddenly fell unexpectedly without listening to the call, but fortunately it was not serious, I went to the hospital for examination, and I did not check out anything wrong.
But the doctor saw that I was not young, according to experience, told me to pay attention, although the magnetic system and other tests did not find a big problem, but the numbness of hands and feet is not a small matter, can only be prevented in advance.
The doctor's words made me very scared, and now I can take care of myself, my sons don't want me to move over, if paralyzed, what will my sons do to me.
Two
I called my sons again and told me about my situation. Several sons and daughters-in-law discussed it, and the result was that I was asked to go to the nursing home and say that there was someone to take care of it.
I did not agree, the sons took the nephew to say things, let me be considerate of the nephew, people do not mention, is in the face of the late mother, we have to know the measure and so on.
To be honest I don't want to go to a nursing home. Since the last time I offered to move to my son's house, they refused, I also privately found several nursing homes, and tried to live for half a month, which did not feel very suitable.
Later, I met Mrs. Zhao, who had been to a nursing home in the village, and listened to her cry about her experience in the nursing home, and decided to give up this road.
Mrs. Zhao is a retired teacher, with a lot of pension every month, and she does not agree to go to the nursing home for the sake of her children to see that they can also accept living with her for the sake of retirement pensions.
I am saddened by the results of their deliberations this time, but I can only do so. I was afraid that I would fall down again, and there would be no one around.
A week later, I was sent to a small nursing home in town for twelve hundred dollars a month. The sons discussed that in the future, they would simply hand over the living expenses to me directly to the nursing home, and since then, I have no income.
Three
I lived in a nursing home for three months, usually very boring, do not let go out, like those of us who have no problem in life are better, people who can't take care of themselves are much more miserable.
The old lady in my next room was paralyzed, she couldn't speak, I saw the nurse yelling when she fed her, the took a long time to be cleaned up, and the nurse scolded.
During that time, my hands and feet were numb more frequently, and I was very scared, so I could only secretly pray that paralysis would not happen to me. It's just that life is like this, what you are afraid of, you will come.
After more than a month, I suddenly suffered from cerebral infarction, my left leg and left hand were unconscious, and only my right hand and right foot had a little consciousness, but I could hardly eat with chopsticks.
The nursing home negotiated with the sons to either pick me up or add five hundred yuan. I don't want to be paralyzed and still here, I don't want to go through what Old Lady Willow went through.
I cried and begged my sons to take me away, but the result of the sons' final discussion was that each of them would share one hundred and twenty-five yuan equally and leave me in a nursing home.
Four
Once, I only drank one sip of water in two days and didn't want to. Hungry shouted and fainted. When I woke up again, I could eat a full meal, but then I was cursed by the nurse for pulling.
I eventually became the same old lady as Willow and went through everything she went through. Almost desperate, I finally thought of suicide.
Before committing suicide, I wanted to go to my cousin's grave to see, asked the nurse for half a month, and finally I had to say that I felt that I was running out of time, after watching my cousin I should die, we were all relieved, ask the nurse to pity me, help me complete my wish.
After the nurse knew my idea, he was so frightened that he quickly informed the hospital, and the hospital informed the sons, who dragged on for half a month before I was carried on a stretcher to my cousin's grave.
I cried and dried my tears in front of my cousin's grave, when I saved my nephew who fell into the water, my cousin was always grateful to me, before I died, I saw me pitiful, living in the old house that collapsed in half, I left a last word, the small house in the village let me live for free, as long as I did not move away, my nephew was not allowed to return to the small house.
Five
Now the little house was sold by my nephew after I moved out, and I heard that he had changed a three-bedroom apartment in the city. Now that I have no way out, I simply end my life in front of my cousin's grave, at least when I die with my cousin.
I pulled my sons apart and said I wanted to stay in front of my cousin's grave for a while. Before I came out of the nursing home, I hadn't eaten for more than a day, and now that all my thoughts are gray, it's not difficult to die.
After my sons left, I thought a lot, and my life ended with hatred after all. After a few hours, it was getting dark, none of my sons came to me, and I was heartbroken, gradually hallucinating, and feeling that I would soon be able to meet my wife and cousin.
However, what I did not expect was that before dark, I did not see my sons, nor did I see my wife and cousin, but I actually saw my nephew and niece who rushed to see me.
When my nephew heard what had happened to me, he knelt in front of my cousin's grave and cried bitterly, holding my leg and saying, If it were not for me risking my life to save him from falling into the water, there would still be his existence now, let alone a daughter-in-law and children.
My nephew went to the village to borrow a van and was going to take me to his house. The sons also followed when they heard the movements, but in the face of the nephew's actions, each of them became dumb and did not say a word.
I was so disappointed in my sons that I didn't want to implicate my nephew anymore. After my niece gave me some water, I was barely able to speak. I refused my nephew's kindness, but my nephew was so sincere that he could not refuse, and he and his niece and daughter-in-law tried very hard to carry me to the car.
Ironically for me, my four sons have helped, carrying the stretcher, driving the car door, and they are so busy.
Six
After moving to my nephew's house, although it was stable, I was always worried, I didn't know what would happen to living here, how long I would be able to live. The heart is always up and down.
The niece and nephew cleaned up the baby room for me to stay in, which was close to their master bedroom so it was convenient to take care of me at night. Her parents went to the second bedroom and took care of me during the day while taking care of the children.
My niece's parents are younger than me, but they are also almost 60 years old, which makes me very unhappy.
My nephew also invited a Chinese medicine practitioner to come to my house every weekend to give me acupuncture. After seven months, my hands actually improved, and my right hand could slowly pick up the chopsticks, while the originally unconscious left hand could move. After another two months, I was finally able to eat with my own chopsticks.
All these changes have calmed my heart that has been worried and uneasy, but in the dead of night, I will inevitably think of my sons, and my calm heart will begin to splash again.
Just when I was secretly glad that my body was getting better day by day, another piece of good news came, but at the same time, a bad news also followed, and almost killed me.
Seven
The government supported the construction of new rural areas, and wanted to build a primary school in my hometown village, which just selected the lot of my old house. In this way, I can get more than a million compensation.
Early that morning, the doorbell of my nephew's house was ringing one after another. It was my four sons and daughters-in-law, along with my grandchildren, thirteen adults and children, and I saw them for the first time since I moved from a nursing home to my nephew's house.
The eldest son said that his father-in-law and mother-in-law had returned to their hometown and now had a room vacated for me to move back in with them.
The second son said that the old man's two children are too noisy, they only have one child, it is better to move to his home, all three rooms and one living room, of course, to go to him to live comfortably.
The third son has not had time to open his mouth, the third daughter-in-law preemptively said that their family is not as big as the old man's second house, but the house is not as big as the house must be comfortable to live, although it is a small two-room, but last night she has let the third son send the child to her parents' house, the vacated house has two pieces of heating, I live in the winter to keep warm.
The fourth son has been living in the woman's home, and now the child is only a few months old, and he does not know how to answer the phone for a while. The fourth daughter-in-law glared at him fiercely and said that the fourth elder had not been at work, and that my legs and feet were inconvenient now, and that he could take care of me personally when he moved to them.
Listening to them, to tell the truth, for a moment my heart was excited and warm, although I knew that my sons, for the sake of compensation, had said those words and were willing to take me back.
Even if I returned to my son's house in this way, in the end, I am not old and unsupported, and I have nowhere to go. After all, it is the flesh that fell from my own body, and hatred will only make my heart hurt more.
Before I could speak, a few people quarreled over you and me. The fourth son accidentally knocked over the kettle on the bedside table, the kettle fell and just smashed on the feet of the third daughter-in-law, the third daughter-in-law screamed, shouting that the third you are a nest of waste, your brother beat your woman you are still pestle there to watch the hilarity.
The third son's brain was hot, and he gave the fourth son a punch, and his face was covered with blood, and the children had already cried into a mess, and the cries came and went. As soon as I was in a hurry, my blood pressure suddenly surged upwards, only to feel that it was pitch black in front of me, and my heart seemed to be falling down, and I couldn't breathe.
If it weren't for the nephew's grandfather deliberately dropping the electric fan and making a big move, no one would have found out that I was already dying and in danger.
Eight
I stayed in the hospital for more than two months to get better, during which time my sons and daughters-in-law took turns to take care of me, and to be honest, I had never been served like this by them in my life.
I knew in my heart why they did this, and if there was no compensation, it was estimated that they would only come to see me when I closed my eyes. Every time I think of this, my heart becomes more and more sad, and I can't calm down for a long time.
After all, I am older, and I have a cerebral infarction, this time I fell ill, even if it is timely rescue to retrieve a life. However, the cerebral infarction was thus heavy again, and only the little thumb of the right hand could barely move the hands that had been restored. Fortunately, I can speak, which makes my heart calm a lot.
A few days later, at night, I felt dizzy in my head, my tongue was not as good as it had been a few days ago, and it was getting harder and harder to catch my breath. Knowing in my heart that the limit had arrived, I opened my eyes and saw my nephew sleeping on the edge of my bed, and the tears flowed down unconsciously.
For the first half month, the sons still took turns to take care of me at night, and after a long time, they couldn't hold on. Later for a long time, at night only my nephew and niece took turns taking care of me.
During the hospitalization period, although the sons and daughters-in-law were infinitely attentive, most of them came during the day, and they would intentionally or unintentionally mention the matter of letting me make a will. I pretended not to understand, but in fact my heart was already broken.
My nephew was awakened by a slight movement, he thought I was going to urinate, and hurried to get the urinal bucket. I stopped him, shook my head, and went back to sleep.
Early the next morning, I asked my nephew to invite the village chief and the village secretary, along with my son and daughter-in-law. In front of everyone, I announced that after my death, all the compensation for the old house would be left to my nephew alone.
When I finished, there was a few seconds of silence, and then the sons quarreled, and I looked at them quietly, watching them open their mouths, their hands and feet with their teeth and claws, and there was no wave in their hearts.
In this life, I have never been so calm.