One morning in the middle of the month, the whole family was eating breakfast, and Zhang Yue'e picked up her 2-year-old granddaughter to pee for her.
The daughter-in-law snapped: How many times have you said that you want to give her diapers to keep her wet!
Always don't listen!
Zhang Yue'e retorted: What diapers are you wearing when you are 2 years old, and what happened to the urine?
I grew up with a few children, there was no problem, and they looked good!
The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law quarreled like this.
Obviously, two generations have different perceptions and approaches to the same problem.
Zhang Feng'e is an elderly person, coaxing her little grandson to boo at the toilet is the same as when she coaxed her son, it is an ancestral method;
The daughter-in-law is a young man who grew up in the city and has used diapers since she was a baby, so wrapping her children in diapers is a matter of course for her.
This is not the first time that the daughter-in-law in the city has made sarcastic remarks, but I did not expect that when the younger son returned at night, the daughter-in-law began to pack her bags and said to her son: "Today is either she left or I left!" ”
After understanding what had happened, the younger son said directly to Zhang Feng'e: "Get out of my house!" ”
Her son's words made Zhang Feng'e dizzy, and if her son hadn't stopped her in time, she would have almost jumped from the 5th floor.
Zhang Feng'e was heartbroken by her daughter-in-law's words and felt that she just looked down on rural people.
Zhang Feng'e led the reporter to the wedding house that was originally built for her young son.
The house is located in the suburbs, although the location is not very good, but it has consumed the life savings of the old couple, such a house can be regarded as a mansion in the countryside, but in the mouth of the daughter-in-law, it is garbage that cannot be lived.
She has paid too much for her son, and after she has paid so much, she has not received a good return, she must feel worse and worse in her heart, and she also thinks about the problem from these perspectives.
For his wife Zhang Feng'e, husband Tian Jun also behaved very helplessly, it turned out that Zhang Feng'e's personality was too strong, and after decades of getting along, the couple quarreled for an unknown number of times.
In response to this situation, Zhang Feng'e asked her younger son to return his savings of 130,000 yuan, which was because when her son started his business before.
Zhang Feng'e took out all her savings to support her son.
In addition, the younger son also had to compensate himself for a pension fee, and then they broke off the mother-child relationship.
It is also lamentable that the quarrel between mother and child has reached the current point.
In the end, under the adjustment of the reporter, they each took a step back and thought calmly.
Uncle Shiyi said: What we see in this incident is the contradiction between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law, so if we really want to live together in peace in the future.
Then it is indispensable to solve the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.
The problem of having children is often the biggest and first point of contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, sowing the seeds of resentment and dissatisfaction, taking root over time, and eventually either erupting or collapsing.
The older generation of parenting always wants to follow the ancient law, thinking that their sons are not brought up in this way, which is so pretentious; bao moms with new ideas of parenting do not think so, and other things can be endured, and the child's business is the bottom line. So family wars are inevitable.
In the process of bringing the baby, the mother-in-law will always say: "I have eaten more salt than you have eaten rice", "I have brought several children like this", "this is how I brought your husband" and so on.
On the one hand, the daughter-in-law is very grateful for her mother-in-law's efforts, because it is really hard to take the baby, on the other hand, some of the mother-in-law's views and practices are not corrected.
The old man is experienced, but can not be accepted as ordered, the young man is inexperienced, but who is not from the young man.
Isn't it also inexperienced to watch the first child, but after watching a child for so many years, it has been a bit derailed from modern parenting methods.
Young people with children only work harder than the elderly to bring better.
But everyone also has to admit that the elderly with babies also have certain advantages, after all, they are people who have raised children, have a certain experience with babies, and can also share the hardships of parents, leaving more energy and time to play with children.
However, sometimes some of the educational concepts of the elderly are also very old and backward, and as a generation-skipping relative, the elderly will also spoil the children more.
But even if most of our methods are better than the methods of the elderly, we must also give the elderly the opportunity to try, explore, trial and error, and improve, and provide the help of the elderly in a timely manner, so that the effect is better.
We accept the shortcomings of the elderly, the temporary shortcomings of the children, and the limitations of the environment and resources that we provide to the children as parents.
In the case of the mother-in-law, she has no obligation to help her son and daughter-in-law take care of the children, and the reason why she helps take care of the children is actually more out of kindness.
Therefore, the mother-in-law has no merit and hard work in taking the baby. In the face of the mother-in-law's traditional parenting methods, even if we can't accept all of our daughters-in-law, don't deny it all at the beginning.
The second problem with this incident is that the old man is too aggressive.
Mother-in-law, if you want to be at peace with your daughter-in-law, changing your concept is the king, don't think that you are old, they have to accommodate you.
Only talk to your daughter-in-law about family affection, don't be reasonable, your son only talks to her about "love" and is not reasonable, you also have to tell her that "love" is unreasonable.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is not insoluble, if you can meet a reasonable mother-in-law, after explaining the seriousness of the situation, each of them will take a step back and calm things down.
Mother-in-law, to know how to withdraw from the son's life in a timely manner, no longer interfere in the relevant matters of the son and daughter-in-law, give the small couple a relatively independent space, and only under the premise of mutual respect, the daughter-in-law is more willing to have a sincere attitude towards the mother-in-law.
If you want to have a happy and harmonious relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, as a mother-in-law, you must remember that no matter how good the relationship with your daughter-in-law is, don't face the decisions made by the two families.
Instead, we should learn to let go, put the decision-making power of the son's family in the hands of the daughter-in-law, and learn to keep a proper distance from the son's family in order to win the respect and respect of the daughter-in-law.
A daughter-in-law cannot treat her in-laws the same way as her own parents, because after all, her in-laws did not participate in the life of a daughter-in-law when she was a child; in the same way, the husband treats her parents-in-law the same way.
People who truly understand this logic will not be harsh on the other half, but will do their best to stand with the other half to honor their parents.
Always remember that the mother-in-law is just a passer-by in life, and it is not your mother-in-law who will accompany you for a lifetime, it is your husband, who respects the mother-in-law as a guest, that is, to give the husband face, to make the husband happy, only if the husband is happy, your life will be happy.
Be sure to keep an appropriate distance from your mother-in-law. Keeping a certain distance will not have so many things entangled together and avoid a lot of contradictions, the grasp of feelings also needs to be relaxed, the treatment of elders is the need for sweet words and more love, remember that there is nothing to greet and care about them.