01
A snow finally gave the city a winter look, but unfortunately there are too few days of heavy snow here. Walking on the dim roadside in the early morning, I remembered a message from a friend: I only knew that you wrote articles before, but I never thought that you would invest so much energy in writing, and what you wrote was very poignant.
Think about it carefully, today I have not achieved any outstanding results, whether it is the main business or the side business, I am not a well-known big coffee, but I have more confidence than most people.
In fact, today can write a text that pokes at people's hearts is not sudden, friends who know the roots must know, I like to write, and I have never put it down.
The truth is that I went from receiving nine years of compulsory education to the end of higher education, and I chose to write in order to give myself enough personal space at each age.
I was born in the northwest countryside, my parents are farmers, not even the "small town girl" that is now said on the Internet. Because of our three brothers and sisters, the family's economy is often stretched.
When I was in elementary school, one year my father had a rheumatism attack and the family had no financial resources, and our family was probably one of the few people in the village who needed to borrow money to buy oil for the New Year.
That year's "June 1st" Children's Day literary and artistic performance, I needed to participate in the school's dance competition to order a uniform dress, which my father ordered for me with the only twenty yuan he had to see a doctor.
The turning point in my family was that I got a scholarship of a few hundred dollars after I went to junior high school, and that time my dad decided that he had to do his best to get the three of us to college.
That year, because we were all selected to go to school in the city before the academic performance test, as long as the school had any major activities, because we did well in school, the three of us could still mix in the TV station in the small county town, and at that time, my parents chose to run at both ends of the rural city for us, while farming and working for us to go to school.
The slightly better financial situation was after I graduated from college and joined the work, some people said that reading was useless, in fact, for me personally, the college entrance examination changed my fate to some extent, it was the first "huge" scholarship I got, the school teacher said that the city TV station was going to interview, and my mother bought me a red sweatshirt.
Going to college was the first time I went to the province, when all the tuition and living expenses were loans, and there were scholarships and part-time jobs throughout the university period. After graduation, when my classmates who worked at the same time as me began to save money to invest in buying a house, I repaid my student loan every month for my salary.
When I had just needed a house, my classmates had already changed hundreds of square meters of large houses before the house price soared, and it was ten years, when the people who bought houses crossed a class.
I have to admit that different origins have completely different starting points in life. Even if a rich second generation does nothing, the wealth it has may be something I have not had for decades.
Therefore, if you are not born well, you don't want to borrow strength, and you work hard in the city, except for yourself, you have nothing to rely on. If you want to have more, you must give more than others and persist longer to stand in the position of others.
02
Looking back at the past twenty years, this process of trying to catch up is really too long, and if I do it again, I may not be able to stick to it. First of all, it takes many years to insist on making up for the resource gap given to me by my parents, and then spend a few years catching up with my classmates and friends around me. This process is really torturous, and no one can say the final result.
When you meet a small partner who comes from a good background and works hard, you can only be crushed.
In fact, when I was very young, I accepted the reality that I was born poor, so I had to pay more than others to have everything I wanted.
In my junior year of high school, I almost never took a lunch break and never fell asleep before 12 p.m. When in order to go to college to choose a major that is good for me to work, I chose to go to science, even if physical chemistry is not good at I force myself to accept, not smart me, not to mention no unforgettable skills, can only be memorized while understanding, so that before the college entrance examination, I can clearly remember the page number where those formulas are located.
Fortunately, in addition to the economics of going to college, the academic performance is still quite reluctant. On the road to marriage, I did not suffer less. Maybe I don't have a good vision, maybe I have a character flaw but don't know it, I didn't get a happy marriage, but the chicken feathers in those lives eventually became my writing fees.
Later, I resigned from the management of a listed company that others envied, and became myself with multiple identities today.
Sometimes in the dead of night, I think of my teenage self who used to plant seedlings in the rice field, and then I feel that life is so beautiful now. Today,we and our daughter are doing what we want to do together, just because our daughter is different from the self she once was.
Along the way, maybe others will think that I have walked very hard, countless days that I feel that I can't survive, and I am dead with myself, forcing myself to insist. I am very fortunate that even if my parents did not give me superior substances, they gave me a tough backbone.
Let me always walk on the road of self-growth, away from the self that makes me dissatisfied, and transform into my favorite self in the process of hard work.
03
In fact, everyone is the same, life is not a straight line, but a wavy line of high and low. As long as our lives don't stop, this thread of life will always fluctuate.
If at this time, we are at a low point, it may be that the effort is not enough or the time has not yet arrived. At this time, in fact, in addition to not giving up, do not choose.
No one can say this time, it may be next month, it may be next year, or many years, although the results we want have not come, in fact, we are still on the slope.
In fact, in the past few years, my biggest gain is not fame and fortune, but a change in cognition. Because my birth determines my financial background, it limits my thinking and personality.
Therefore, in this process of self-growth, it is indispensable to take many detours and pay more efforts than others. In fact, in this process, I sometimes envy those who come from better backgrounds than me when I am depressed.
But today I don't need to be envious, because I have the courage and ability to constantly change myself. It's hard to get out of your comfort zone, it's hard to try to change, so why not try it instead of living like a "warm boiled frog"?
There is a saying: You can't eat the pain of reading, then you have to eat the pain of life. But I think: if you are reluctant to be cruel to yourself, the world will be cruel to you. So why not make yourself stronger before the world is fierce to you?
I have always believed that no matter how the world changes, as long as you are diligent and hardworking, it will not be bad. After all, a rural girl like me can live well in the city with her own efforts, why can't you? So don't believe anything sudden and popular, because all counterattacks are prepared.