Text/Jiang Zuo Mei Niang
Yesterday a little girl in Anhui backstage private message me, she and her boyfriend fell in love for four years, the feelings have been very good, but after graduating from college ready to talk about marriage, there were some situations, the woman's family said to the girl, at least 200,000 bride price, and the girl knows, the boyfriend's family also has a younger brother, also in college, the burden is heavy, 200,000 must not be taken out, the girl is slow to open her mouth.
The girl's mother said, you are young, do not understand things, you are now in good feelings, do not care, but you have to consider his family's views, you do not want a penny, upside down to marry him, and finally his family looks down on you, so the girl is confused, after reading the book, she thought in her heart, this bride price is not a form? Why do we have to be strong? However, she had a thought, if she really did not follow the requirements of the market, would she really marry herself and be looked down upon?
The confusion of girls has a strong reality and universality, and now whether to consider the question of bride price when getting married? In fact, I believe that more sincere girls do not care much about the bride price, nor do they care too much about the boy's family's opinion of themselves, but they do care about their weight in the heart of the beloved boy.
So is it that the girl who wants the bride price is higher in the boy's heart, and the girl who does not want the bride price is cheaper?
01.
There is a female classmate in the hometown, the father died early, the female classmate has a younger brother in the family, the family is very poor, the female classmate is very hard, admitted to the civil service, so the person who gave her the matchmaker broke through the threshold of her family, at this time the mother of the female classmate spoke, if you want to marry her daughter, you must give a dowry of 100,000 yuan, and you have to give a set of façade rooms. This was more than ten years ago, when this condition was very scary, so many people who said that the media have retreated, but in the end, there is really one that meets the conditions and is willing to accept the harsh conditions of the girl's family, so the female classmates are forced to fall in love with the boy.
This boy's home is opened a factory, the family situation is good, but people do not have a serious job, it looks very lively, very shrewd look, it is also very good for female classmates, three months later, the woman's family bride price arrived, the façade room arrived, the female classmates married smoothly, at that time many people envied her to marry well, after all, in the small county, who did not think she made a lot of money, she was forced at first, and later she was very happy.
But the misfortune soon came, her first child was a girl, the in-laws' face was not good-looking, at that time she could not have a second child, her husband's attitude towards her was not good, and then the two people began to quarrel, the husband talked about it, what qualifications do you have to argue with me, you are I spent so many colorful gifts, paid such a big price to marry back, you do not give birth to a son for me, you give me a roll! Later, the husband did not return home at night, half a year later, the husband gave birth to a boy with the woman outside, and brought it home, she was angry, had to divorce.
Some people say that she still earned ah, 100,000 yuan earned, the façade house can also be profitable! The reality is that 100,000 was given to her mother, given to her brother and daughter-in-law, the façade of the house is not good, has not been able to rent out, basically idle, waiting for demolition, but also belongs to her mother's family, and she herself, but with a daughter, and a body of scars barely survive.
She asked for a bride price, but what was the use? For her husband's family, that little bit of money is nothing at all, nor is it a sunk cost, so people give her a home, and they don't care, she is because she received the bride price, but she has to bear the "responsibility" of having a son, and she is pinched, in the end, the man's family pays so much dowry, it does not really mean that they look up to her, but they treat her as a fertility machine, because you can't give birth to a son, their family has an outside heart.
02.
Thinking of another friend, she is from a good family, but she is very strong, put the comfortable days of the small county, but have to go to the big city to work hard, work hard to 30 years old, do not get married, the old parents entrusted people to introduce her a lot of boyfriends, she feels inappropriate, and finally the New Year has to bring back a phoenix man, so that the parents and relatives of the hometown are stunned.
The phoenix man looks quite energetic, but when he listens to the conditions, it makes his parents frown. The family is in the countryside, the family is surrounded by disciples, the father is not in good health, and there is a younger brother in the family, and the burden is too heavy. It is impossible to buy a house in a big city, and the bride price is not to be thought of. Parents say to friends, tell me what you want to do with him!
But the friend insisted on getting married, and the parents also loved the daughter, and finally the two people were traveling to get married, and even the banquet money was saved. At that time, many people did not understand her and could not understand her choice, but after 5 years, more people understood her original wisdom.
Friends and husbands have changed a lot in these 5 years, originally just in a small company, but 3 years of kung fu let him mature rapidly, soon accumulated his own contacts, began to brew his own small company, the sixth year, the company was established, Nijin Doujin, the original two people's small house quickly replaced by a large house, moved to the best part of the city.
Husband developed, in fact, friends are not idle, they have also done the middle level in the institution, small days to operate soundly, at this time someone reminded her, you can be careful, men have money to become bad, she always smiles, because the husband's money she has a number in her heart, the husband's whereabouts do not need her to ask, he will often report, two people have endless words every day, such a quiet year, she never has to worry about something that can break him. Sometimes she will also ask her husband, will she dislike her "old age and decline"? My husband would always smile and ask, "Did you have color in the first place?" So the two men got into a mess.
Yasunari Kawabata once wrote a sentence: "In this world, who doesn't want to have a very beautiful love?" "Yes, in fact, no matter men and women, who do not expect the most sincere love."
When a woman really does not want to materially fall in love with a man, a man with real character will not be complacent, they will only feel that their shoulder weight is heavier, because the woman gives him a sincere and heavy love, this love is an incomparably precious friendship that can stand the test, if he does not work hard, if he fails to live up to it, how unbearable should he be?
So, you see, don't be a bride price girl, meet the right person, someone of good character, she will not be despised, she will only be more cherished.
03. Mei Niang said
In fact, I was also the stupid girl who did not want a bride price, and after I got married, I did feel the "undesirable" from my husband's relatives. You must know our old Yang, that is the standard Shandong grandfathers.
I once protested with Lao Yang about this, but later I found that as long as Lao Yang didn't look at it this way, there was no need to be so calculated, because once or twice a year, I would go back to my hometown once or twice, give my husband face, let him sigh, and go home to repair it more.
Yishu once said:
"It is impossible to rely on others in life and want to be respected by others."
Yes, in fact, women do not need to worry about being looked down upon by men, as long as you choose the right person, he will naturally value your sincerity, as long as you have enough strength to find that he does not want to see you, you have the confidence to withdraw and leave, what are you afraid of?
The real reason why men think you're cheap is not that you don't want a bride price, but that you don't have any skills and can't do anything. You have to rely on men for everything, rely on your husband's family, you have to rely on men for everything, whether it is material or spiritual, then even if you are high before marriage, you will eventually fall into the bottom.
Of course, if a man's family situation is actually possible, then you need not say much, as long as they respect you, they will be willing to give a bride price in line with the market conditions, and if a man's home is actually really poor, then why reach out? Why not be generous and let men feel your sincerity?
In this world, the bride price is easy to get, and good men are rare! In fact, girls who do not want a bride price are not cheap at all, but even more likely to be cherished by boys.
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