The love shown by parents is different, and some parents show that the love is intense and strong, and it is easy for children to perceive it. And some parents show love like a long stream, and children have to go through a longer period of time to experience such implicit love.
Some mothers will have doubts, obviously it is their own child, it is good enough for him, why does the child not kiss himself? In fact, this is very much related to the form in which parents show love. If the performance of parental love is too subtle, the child will feel that the parents do not love themselves.
Xiao Wu is an example, shortly after Xiao Wu gave birth to a son, he and her husband went to work in other provinces, and entrusted their son to the care of her in-laws. Xiao Wu and her husband work desperately outside to earn money, and often video with their son in their spare time.
When the child grows up, Xiao Wu will often transfer money to his son to spend, buy his son his favorite toys, clothes and so on. But Xiao Wu gradually found that his son was increasingly reluctant to talk to his parents. Even when he saw his parents, he had no feelings like he saw strangers. Xiao Wu cried that he had paid so much for the family, why did the carefully raised son not kiss himself.
His son finally broke out one day, complaining that his parents only knew how to work outside to earn money, that his parents would not have a parent to go from childhood to adulthood, and that the hard times of growing up had never been accompanied by their parents. He never wanted expensive toys and clothes, only that his parents would be by his side.
Xiao Wu woke up to the fact that daily companionship and love are far more important than material "care". So what kind of inappropriate "love" will make the child not kiss himself?
Let children become "left-behind children"
Many parents are career-oriented and would rather spend most of their energy working outside the home than staying home to take care of their children. This has spawned a large group of "left-behind children" who are cared for by their grandparents in their daily lives, but whose spiritual needs are difficult to meet.
When children go to school, the classmates around them have the daily care and love of their parents, and they can only face grandparents who are not highly educated and difficult to provide specific help, and their hearts will accumulate disappointment and helplessness for a long time. If children are accustomed to solving any problems by themselves, they will no longer expect help from their parents.
Focus only on the material and not on the spirit
There is also a category of parents who do grow up with their children, but their inappropriate way of caring also pushes their children to their own opposites. For example, parents only know how to use money to solve problems, and it is very generous to give their children pocket money, but they are stingy to allocate their time to spend with their children.
When children study at home at night, parents would rather spend time out drinking and playing cards than accompany their children at home to study. When children encounter difficulties in life and learning, they tell their parents about their inner troubles and look forward to their care and help. But parents complain that the child is not working hard enough, thinking that it is all the child's fault.
Focusing only on material care, but not on the satisfaction of spiritual needs, such love will not last long and will not move the child.
To bring their children closer to themselves, parents need to change their actions and not repeat the same mistakes.
Spend time with your child growing up
Parents always use the excuse of making money to push the responsibility of raising children to the older generation, and they ignore their children. Money can never be earned, but the growth of children is missed and will not be available again. If we don't spend time with our children growing up, how can we expect our children to develop feelings for their parents? The more we spend with our children, the more we can cultivate feelings with our children.
Take the initiative to show love for your child
Love for children should not be verbalized, nor should it be perfunctory through spending money, but should be reflected in real life. Do not be absent from the parent-child activities organized by the school, and do not miss the critical period of children's growth. When children encounter difficulties and talk to us, parents should listen patiently and carefully. Let children know that the family will always be their safe haven.
There are no parents under the sky who do not love their children, and learning to show proper love for their children can deepen their feelings with their children.