3
●
15
Today is International Consumer Rights Day. As consumers, we always encounter all kinds of "troubles" every day, false propaganda, telecommunications fraud and so on... In the face of these, we must use legitimate means to safeguard our rights and interests!
But who knows, as children, they may also want to "defend their rights" - to say "no" to irresponsible "fake and shoddy" parents!
Today, we will take a look at the "fake parents" around us to safeguard the rights and interests of love for the children!
01
Someone else's child is the best
Blindly suppress children's self-esteem
"Wangzi Jackie Chan" and "Wangnu Chengfeng" are not new topics, but they are always common in daily life.
Every child grows up, there is a god-like opponent, he (she) is smart and sensible, does not love to play but loves to learn, every exam is at the top, piano, chess, calligraphy and painting are proficient. He or she is called "someone else's child."
"False parents" do not pay attention to words and deeds, do not read or learn, but always require their children to read, and want their children to catch up with "other people's children", which is somewhat of a pipe dream. You know, "other people's children" often stand next to one or more "other people's parents", they accompany their children, reading and writing together with the lights.
Educating children should not use radical methods, but should be positively guided. You have to believe in the child, the child can get a sense of security, only then can you have the confidence to do things well. Parents need to use practical actions to improve themselves and lifelong learning in order to become the best guides on the road to their children's growth.
02
My dream you go to fulfill
Disrespect for children's personality development
Each child is an independent being, with an independent personality and pursuits, not an appendage of the parent. However, "false parents" always like to put conditions on their children, asking that the child be "molded into the person he wants" rather than "raised to be the person he wants to be".
Parents should understand that the child is only a continuation of life, not the sustenance of the parents who have failed to realize their dreams, and the child has his own life, which is a unique and wonderful process. Parents do not have the ability to realize their dreams, but let their children take responsibility for their dreams, which is actually a manifestation of irresponsibility in their own lives.
Haysan's poem "To My Children" may enlighten "false parents" to love their children correctly.
"You're not my hope, you're not
You are your own hope
My dreams that failed to materialize were still mine
It has nothing to do with you, let it have nothing to do with you
Why don't you have a whole new dream
In that dream, there is no need for me."
Electronics accompany me
Lack of communication with the child's heart
With the popularity of electronic products and the advent of the 5G era, adults and children with mobile phones can be seen everywhere. "Fake parents" also brush vibrato or fast hands in between accompanying their children; what's more, in order to make the children quiet and quiet, they directly throw mobile phones and tablets to children to play.
Over time, in the process of children's growth, the relationship and communication between parents and families are quietly replaced by other things, many people hold mobile phones happily, and communicate with their families is cold, feeling that mobile phones are "relatives".
"Fake parents" treat electronic products as nannies, take care of children, children can only play with electronic products, so children treat electronic products as the closest partners, addicted to mobile phones, iPads, televisions, etc., suffering from "electronic product autism".
There is a need to sound the alarm for "false parents"! We must correctly guide children to use electronic products, formulate reasonable rules with children, accompany children to watch, lead to real life, and try to weaken the sense of existence of electronic products at home, so as to accompany children to grow up harmoniously.
04
Just leave it to the teacher to discipline
Ignore the importance of homeschooling
Cai Yuanpei said in "The Cultivation of Chinese": "The family, the school of the beginning of life. The character of a lifetime, the so-called ever-changing one, is mostly embryonic in the family. ”
Some parents believe that the family only cares about the child's life, education is the school's business, they do not realize that parents are the child's first teacher, the teacher can only teach textbook knowledge, and living habits, human principles, etc. need parents to cultivate.
A child's good or bad character is closely related to family education, the teacher is only the teacher, and the parent is the influencer of the child's life. The child is only one of the thousands of students of the teacher, educating the child is only the teacher's job, but as a parent, the child is your only one, and it is also the object you need to cultivate with your life.
The Family Education Promotion Law clearly stipulates that family education is based on the fundamental task of cultivating people with virtue, which means that parents must carry out family moral education for their children in accordance with the law. The Family Education Promotion Act provides legal support for family moral education and urges parents to better carry out family moral education. Parents should take the initiative to take on educational responsibilities and cultivate a moral and idealistic next generation.
05
Obedient are good children
Make "obedience" an educational goal
"False parents" only give orders when educating their children, force their children to obey in a commanding tone, and repeat the same words every day. Such "false parents" are sacrificing their children's feelings to maintain their own personality as an adult: "Look, the children I teach are more obedient, and I have more face!" ”
This way of education, on the surface, is to make children obedient, but in fact, it is stifling the child's personality, making the child lose his independent thoughts, and becoming more and more cowardly and inferior.
Using the authority of parents to forcibly cultivate an obedient child, then he is bound to grow into a person with no personality, no thought, and even no appearance, which is the biggest failure of parenthood. Obedient education will only harm children!
Forcing children to obey is not as good as teaching children to express themselves. If you squat down, listen carefully to your child's heart, let him feel your love, teach him the rules of doing things, discuss the right way with him, and lead by example, I believe the effect will be much better.
06
He's still a kid
Arrange everything for your child
Being young and ignorant has become an excuse for some "fake parents" to make mistakes for their children. "He's still a kid!" This sentence seems to be full of parental love, but in fact it has become the biggest obstacle to the child's growth.
The way a child grows up is to constantly learn to be responsible for himself. Every child inevitably makes big and small mistakes in growth, and the real good parents are to guide the child step by step to understand the importance of responsibility, rather than blindly rushing up to resist the responsibility for him and finding an excuse for his mistakes to be "young".
Don't let the parents ruin the child. You know, only by taking responsibility for yourself can a "child" grow into a responsible and responsible adult.
07
They all bullied my kids
Education does not make sense of feelings
Love cannot replace rules, it can be the standard by which right and wrong are measured.
School is a "buffer zone" that every child must go through before entering the society, where children not only master knowledge and skills, but also gradually learn how to cooperate with people and how to get along with people. When a child walks into school and is with his teachers and classmates, he needs to accept the rules of the group.
However, when children are "wronged" in school, many parents are "pitiful" and indiscriminately feel that their children have been wronged. "They all bullied my kids!" In the complaining, teachers and classmates who are very important to the growth of children have become imaginary enemies of parents.
Families need to be full of love, but family education cannot only talk about feelings, not reason. Don't let your love blind your child' eyes.
08
Taking the first is the only honor
Education is more about results than processes
Ranking and grades are not the only criteria for judging children, but for some "false parents", "first place" has become the only "medal" for children.
Every child who keeps working hard and keeps improving is the best. Parents need to focus on the process of their children's growth, not just the final grade list. Everyone's talent is different, the results are different, but the sweat of each child's growth is worthy of appreciation. It's all glorious.
There's not just one track in the world, and no track is a championship worth applauding. Even if it is ordinary, every child can blossom in his own life. Parents should never ignore it.
09
Just leave it to your grandparents
"Left-behind children" cared for by grandparents
With the acceleration of the pace of society, many parents are busy with work, so that their children live with their grandparents for a long time, not only parents who need to go out to work, but also many people who work in their hometowns.
But children's education needs not only the material support of parents, but also emotional companionship and care. The age gap between grandparents and children is too large, it is difficult to really care for the child's mental health, play a teaching role for the child, and the pampering from the "next generation" often makes the child behave lawlessly and psychologically obediently and lonely.
Go home more to see that the "love" of the grandparents cannot replace the "teaching" of the parents, and the material compensation cannot fill the emotional vacancy.
10
The future of the child has nothing to do with me
The steward does not care about the godparent "lying flat"
"The child can grow up on his own, and he can't help his parents in the future." This has become an irresponsible excuse for some "false parents". This is not only not conducive to the construction of the family, but also has a huge impact on the children.
Parenting and education are equally important responsibilities for parents. In the adolescence, what children need most is the guidance of their parents. Parents are the first and most important teachers of a child. The psychological "indifferent discipline" of parents is easy to cause the "six gods and no master" of the lack of children's values.
If the parents "lie flat", who will teach the child to walk? Don't let parents be lazy for a while, causing regrets about the growth of children.
The family is the first school in life, and the parent is the child's first teacher.
In October 2020, the 31st session of the Standing Committee of the 13th National People's Congress voted to pass the Law of the People's Republic of China on the Promotion of Family Education, which came into effect on January 1, 2022. This is the first time that our country has introduced special legislation on family education.
The new law advocates these nine methods of education
The Family Education Promotion Law makes it clear that when minors' parents or other guardians carry out family education, they shall pay attention to the physical, psychological, and intellectual development of minors, respect minors' rights to participate in relevant family affairs, and reasonably use the above methods and methods.
It is hoped that parents will establish a scientific concept of education, rationally determine their children's growth goals, earnestly fulfill the main responsibility of family education, educate minors with correct thoughts, methods and behaviors to develop good thoughts, conduct and habits, do not be "false parents", and let children grow up healthy and happy.
Text: Wang Yidan, Qin Xiaohan (Intern)
Partial Reference Self "Metropolitan Education"
Figure: Network data
Edit: Xiang Ying | Review: Liu Lei