Very few people can spend their children with them for a lifetime. No matter how powerful parents are, there will always be times when children can't rely on them. Teach children to be self-reliant and learn to rely on themselves, so that we as parents will not worry that our children will one day lose their "backers". Therefore, wise parents will choose to let their children grow together physically and mentally, not only physically, but also to teach their children to learn to be self-reliant.
No one can replace the growth of children, and the ups and downs of the future must be experienced first-hand. Therefore, we should create conditions for the growth of children and create opportunities for exercise, rather than doing everything and becoming the "spokesperson" for children.
On the child's growth path, the appropriate "laziness" of parents gives children the opportunity to stand on their own. From the entire elementary school stage of the child's growth process, under the premise of ensuring the safety of the child, we will let the child do something or participate in some activities. At present, I still have 6 sets of "Unaccompanied Minor" boarding information at home. These 6 sets of materials represent the children's 6 trips from Beijing to Urumqi every summer from the first grade to the third grade. Because of work, every summer vacation, we can't accompany our children, so we have to let our children fly back and forth by themselves. For the first time, we were also entangled and worried. Later, it was found that in fact, the entire unsupervised custody of the airline is very safe, so the problem is to do a good job in the psychological construction of the child. We will tell your child what the whole process is going on and who to turn to for help if there is a problem. Looking at the child's eyes that seem to understand, to be honest, we have no bottom in our hearts. Just like that, I pulled my child's beloved suitcase and went straight to the airport. The staff at the airport received us very conscientiously and responsibly, and after confirming the identity of the person who picked us up, they took the child through the security check. Also keep in touch with us before boarding. After 4 hours, my family called me and said that the child had received it, and my hanging heart fell.
Afterwards, many friends said that I was so bold and the child was so young, so I let myself fly. But I secretly rejoiced in my heart, and I thought that the child's independence and self-reliance were not achieved at once, but should be completed in the accumulation of time and again. After the child returned to Beijing by himself, he said with great pride: "Mom, next time I will fly back to my hometown!" "This state of affairs continued into the third grade.
In the upper grades, we discussed with the children, took the bus home after school, and told the children about safety precautions on the road. The child can also readily accept it. Entering the sixth grade, the child voluntarily asked to go to school on his own in the morning. Set your own alarm clock, get up, wash your hair, comb your hair, drink water, go out by yourself, and tell us on WeChat when you get to school. This process is naturally complete. Looking at the child's confident and determined eyes, I feel that my "laziness" is helping the child grow. Sometimes looking at the child's growth manual, the hand-copied newspaper has developed from the stick figure version of the pencil to the current bright and colorful layout, which is made by the child himself. Sometimes I see this child doing slowly, and I want to reach out to help, but I resist, I still hope that the child has his own ideas in the process of production, and can practice it.
People say that the child and the parents are a process of gradual separation, but I hope that during the time when we can still accompany the child, teach her to be independent and self-reliant, because the parents who can put the child on the road to self-reliance and self-improvement are the real love for the child!
Text: Liu Yuan (Parent of Chaoyang Foreign Language Primary School, Chaoyang District, Beijing)
Editor: Fu Lei
Editor: Yu Meijing
Editor: Hao Bin
Final Judgement: Wang Yu, Su Jinzhu, Bao Danhe
People who pay attention to education are watching