In October 2015, in the Arctic, my 13-year-old daughter, accompanied by me, walked through the gravel and snow and ran her first half marathon, while setting a record for the youngest participant in the world's "cool" marathon, the Arctic Circle Marathon.
Since then, my daughter has run one or two marathons with me almost every year, and when I run the whole horse, she runs half a horse. But most of the races I chose for her were not "ordinary", and since the "Arctic Run", she has appeared on extreme environmental tracks such as Wild Duck Lake and Antarctica.
Fast forward more than six years, and the thin, green little girl has grown up. She loves life, loves photography, and has her own pursuit of art and unique insights.
Just like the name of the book, "Accompanying The Child to the World", over the years, I have indeed accompanied my daughter step by step to the world, but this "accompaniment" is not a verb in a continuous state, but a psychological state.
Yuhong said she wrote this book because she saw the efforts and efforts of millions of Chinese families in education, and saw that Chinese parents' desire and belief that their children could be better than themselves is becoming more and more intense. In the end, many parents are unwilling and unwilling to admit that their children are an "ordinary person", so they spare no effort to pour their hearts and minds.
From the large number of cases of family education included in this book, it can be seen that for parents, the process of parenting is actually a process of self-cultivation and improvement. Moreover, in the relationship with children, physical practice is a more efficient way of education than any course.
In the process of my daughter's growth, many of the ways I taught her were actually following some of the practices that my father had done to me.
For example, after the college entrance examination, I followed my parents on a business trip, they sat in the soft sleeper, but bought me a hard seat ticket, and repeatedly stressed that you can go to the soft sleeper car to play with them during the day, but you must return to the hard seat car at night.
I still remember that hard-seat trip to this day, not only because of the principles my father adhered to, but also because he did not use any didactic education.
My father's influence on me was subtle, and in my memory, he never accused me or told me any great truth. However, under the guidance of his almost traceless words and deeds, as I received more and more education, read more and more books, and learned more and more about the world, I also had more and more profound perception and understanding of heroism, national righteousness, and the world and the country. Nowadays, many of my habits in treating people and things and working in life are closely related to the company of my father who led by example.
When I was growing up, my father always conveyed to me the message and concept of an "ordinary person", he did not say a word to me like "you want to be an ordinary person", but I already understood the meaning of "ordinary person".
The so-called "ordinary people" does not mean that a person's life is mediocre and accomplishes nothing, but an attitude to life, the most powerful adaptability to life, whether poor or rich, successful or frustrated, peak or low, as long as a person always has the mentality and adaptability of ordinary people, he has valuable and inexhaustible wealth.
This life wealth left to me by my father was left to my daughter almost unchanged.
Today, our daughters are growing up and traveling the wider world, and we have less and less time in the same city, eating together, and chatting face-to-face. Sometimes I miss her very much, and I also think of the thin back of the weak wind in the biting cold wind of the Arctic, and I stand behind her, feeling the biting cold wind and the bumpy marathon track with her, and I witness her challenge to nature.
At this point, I have both the feeling of reminiscing about the past and the full sense of accomplishment, just like the concept of "learning family" proposed in this book, which is where the achievement of being a father lies.
Compared with the indoctrination education of parents to their children, and even the rich material giving, the most valuable wealth that children can obtain in the process of growing up is actually their learning ability.
My father's earnest teaching to me at that time, as well as my personal practice of my daughter, are all testing the importance of learning ability: when a person has the ability to learn independently, he has the courage to break through the world and the most core capital.
Over the years, my work has been very busy, and I rarely have a large chunk of time to spend with my daughter, but this girl who has learned to be self-reliant, self-reliant, and independent since childhood has never disappointed me - she is successful in her studies, has a high ideal in life, and a sound and independent personality.
In my communication with my daughter, I have always conveyed to her the power of learning, the spirit of learning, and the realm of learning through various ways. The power of learning can allow children to gradually develop the habit of diligent learning, the spirit of learning can make children have a stronger desire for knowledge and self-motivation, and the realm of learning can tell children that the original intention of learning is to have a responsibility and responsibility for the world, society and family.
Parents play multiple roles in the process of building a learning family, not only as a role model for their children, but also as a partner for their children, but also as an enabler for their children.
I very much agree with Yuhong's point in the book: the family is a small organization, and many modules of modern business management (such as branding, strategy, marketing, quality control, etc.) have in common.
Watching her daughter grow up day by day and have better learning ability, whether it is a knee-to-knee conversation when it is a rare gathering, or a WeChat video when the days are separated, the distance has become no longer important. In the past ten years, I have unreservedly given the spirit that I can convey and give to my daughter as a father, so that she can truly apply what she has learned and overcome difficulties and risks in the face of difficulties and setbacks.
Writing this, I can't help but think that Nike founder Phil Knight described such a scene in his autobiography: one day, he opened his children's bedrooms and suddenly found that their children had grown up and gone farther into the world.
Sooner or later, all parents will face such a scene. Of course, we can try to "accompany our children to the world" inseparably, but the more critical question is, in the process of companionship, do we have a truly meaningful and valuable empowerment for our children?
Probably many Chinese parents have not thought clearly about this issue.
In fact, one day, our mission of companionship will come to an end, and our adult children will be on their own. The world is so big that parents should not act as companions for everything, but should become enablers who lead by example. How do I do this? I believe that after you have read the book "Accompanying Children to the World", you will definitely find the reference answer.
With all parents, encourage.
"Accompanying Children to the World - Five Cultivations of Chinese Parents" Introduction: