Cultivate the most interesting and practical psychology every day
Children are not a bridge to the emotional life of husband and wife, and the feelings between husband and wife must be understood and operated together by two people in order to continue to be happy for a long time.
Therefore, these people who use their children as a bridge between husband and wife's feelings will eventually suffer the lesson of failure and will face another choice in the relationship between husband and wife.
If you don't believe it, you can go to see the civil affairs department after the college entrance examination, when the student examination is finally liberated, the parents will be liberated, because they can feel at ease and boldly divorce.
According to relevant data, within a month after the end of the college entrance examination, the civil affairs department received 2.3 times more divorce applications than before the college entrance examination, and this wave of divorce will continue from June to September.
The staff of the civil affairs department reflected that if the divorced couple is not particularly old, they will still persuade a little, because as the saying goes, it is better to demolish a temple than to demolish a marriage, so they will also persuade each other, which is also considered to be a accumulation of virtue and good deeds.
And many young couples are just momentarily discouraged, not rational enough, in the irrational situation to make a divorce decision, go home to be rational or the other party to give a ladder down, after a period of time, the gas slowly dissipated, it will be naturally good.
However, most divorced couples like this after the college entrance examination are not persuaded. Because such middle-aged and elderly couples basically have no feelings, there is no warmth to speak of in ordinary life, and it is all for the sake of children to persist until now, even if it is uncomfortable, they will live together.
But the child's college entrance examination was over, and the two people felt that it was uncomfortable to stay for one more day, so they resolutely decided to divorce.
This also shows that if there is no love between husband and wife, there will no longer be a feeling of admiration and heartbeat between the two people, but they will look at each other and hate each other, just for the sake of children, but we must know that broken love will never restore the appearance of cost.
In that kind of husband and wife relationship, there is no longer any feeling, just for the old people and children of the two families, with the mask of love, they become marionettes alive.
This kind of beautiful person who looks very much in love with others, happiness and happiness, is actually like a plastic lover, giving people the feeling that even if it is strong, as long as it is a little harder, experiencing wind and rain, it will make the illusion of original happiness shattered instantly.
After getting married, you didn't share these 3 things, indicating that you are just a "plastic couple" Are you and your partner a "plastic couple"? Sexless marriage is not terrible, and "plastic couples" who never share these 3 things are the most terrible.
1. Apply the same account
People's activities do have to be kept at a distance, even for couples. Having your own privacy is a very routine thing, and you must leave a certain space and distance for both sides.
This is figuratively known in psychology as the "Hedgehog Effect," where distance can help two people stay inextricably linked, and over-intimacy can cause some unexpected problems.
But the right distance does not mean that the two are completely in different circles, in order to better maintain the intimate relationship between husband and wife, while maintaining the right distance, they must also have the same secrets or preferences with each other.
Among these people, the same account between husband and wife is a very appropriate way.
But plastic couples lack love and trust, so they are like a layer of invisible sand cloth, so that they can not open their hearts to each other, but can not even share the same account. Wary of each other, fearing the other side spying on their secrets, both financially and spiritually.
Second, support each other
How many blessings a person enjoys in this lifetime, how much suffering he must suffer. But the pain in the heart must be tolerated, considerate and coped with by husband and wife.
There was not much true love between plastic husband and wife, the husband and wife were originally the same forest bird, and the catastrophe was about to fly each other to say that this was the relationship.
Couples who truly love each other, when facing difficulties, will treat two people as praying mantises on a rope, will not pay too much attention to their own gains and losses, and will only care about how two people should deal with pain and difficulties together.
Third, the same pair of tableware to eat
A couple who sleep in the bed rarely use the same washroom, the same towel, and the same pair of utensils to eat, which is also a typical feature of plastic couples.
Naturally, it is also beyond reproach from a hygienic point of view, but it is still the case when the health situation allows, which indicates that the couple's feelings are not strong enough.
If in marriage, two people not only do not communicate, but also can not eat a bowl of rice, then whether it is a harsh winter moon or a scorching sun, the home will become a cold hotel, and it will no longer be the home of two people.
Real couples can share with each other and take on the responsibilities of life together, rather than constantly calculating who has suffered more than whom. This kind of plastic couple brings to each other's sense of oppression beyond the torment of asexual marriage, the same bed, different dreams, and tatters.
The heart is not together, the feelings will naturally not regenerate, and even if the husband and wife get along for a long time, they cannot prevent the end of running away from each other. If in the married life, you can't feel the warmth and love of the other party, just with the help of children to maintain a relationship, it can only be called a pile of plastic and dust in the fireworks.
- The End -
Author | Tommy
Edit | Rain
The First Psychological Writing Group | A group of young people who like to look up at the stars
参考资料：Bruk, A., Scholl, S. G., & Bless, H. (2018). Beautiful mess effect: Self–other differences in evaluation of showing vulnerability. Journal of personality and social psychology, 115(2), 192-205
WeChat public account: the first psychology