01
If someone tells you that your mate selection standard is very low and very simple, as long as you have feelings and fit together, then you must not believe it, because there are too many hidden requirements behind feelings and fits in, in fact, think about it with your brain, including appearance, knowledge, family, conditions, career, three views and so on.
For example, some time ago I listened to a matchmaker.
A girl came to her to introduce an object, and she asked if there were any requirements, and the girl said no. As a result, the matchmaker found a condition that was OK in all aspects, but after two or three days, it was denied by the girl, the reason was that she did not feel it, because the other party's height was shorter and did not meet her presupposition of her life partner.
Introduce her to another good external condition, and after a week, it will be denied on the grounds that two people cannot get along, because there is no common language.
So when you always go to the object with such standards, you must believe that no one in this world can live up to all your preconceptions about him.
It may seem that it is the lowest and simplest standard, but in fact, this is the most demanding and complex requirement, because there are not so many suitable people.
What Jiong said:
"If you suddenly meet a person who is perfectly adapted to you, who is particularly accommodating to you and considerate of you, you must be careful, there is no such person in this world, don't believe in fairy tales so much!" 」
Two people who are not perfectly matched and absolutely fit can only accept each other with an inclusive heart. Ask what you like, what you can accept, and then determine your own direction from it, when choosing an object, as long as that person has the advantages of their own needs, and the shortcomings are also within their own acceptance.
If you want to skip the process of running-in directly, and still immerse yourself in the ideal world, you can only throw the air again and again, and go on alone.
In addition, if someone says that he does not have any mate selection criteria, then for such a person, you must also stay away, because he does not even know what he likes, what he wants, and how do you meet his requirements, so no matter who you choose, you will eventually feel more and more lonely, exploring in different lovers, but no relationship can develop for a long time.
Looking for an object, people can not directly skip their own needs, otherwise where is the action force, where is the enthusiasm?
You always have to figure out what you want, and then determine what you want, and ensure that your will will will never be affected by others.
02
Why is it more and more difficult for single men and women to find a partner now? Say an answer that I recently heard: "Single men and women, can not find the root cause of the object, their own conditions are not drops, and then ask for a lot of, popular points are low in the eye, a mountain looks at a mountain high." ”
So the question is, is there anyone who can reach your rules? If there is, how sure you will choose you.
In the face of a person who is excellent in all aspects, it is not that you choose him, but whether he will choose you.
People go to the high place, the water flows to the low place, there is no reason why people will put a better no, have to retreat to choose you, this is also a thing without reason.
Fu Seoul said a very realistic sentence in the show:
"Mention less about the criteria for mate selection, think more about how you can, first of all, starting from yourself, I think this mate selection also depends on who you are worthy of, you always think about how others should be, you don't think, I should match others how I should be, what conditions should I have." 」
It depends on what kind of person you deserve, and what kind of person you can attract. You can see that you are often better than you, so you should think, in order to match others, I should cultivate which characteristics of myself, and then through these characteristics to attract him, to match him.
For example, there is a real example around, say looks, barely middle and upper class, but the height and figure are very ordinary, the education is junior high school graduates, the family is more complicated, the parents are divorced and are workers. But after she spent two years in the big city, she came back and couldn't look at the object of introduction from relatives and friends, and the hundreds of thousands of cars were broken cars in her eyes.
As for where does the sense of confidence and superiority come from? She felt that her life alone was exquisite, eating and dressing with high-end, and although she owed a loan, she still insisted on finding a partner who could make her life more exquisite.
You see, it's not that you can't find the object, it's just that you can't turn your head, you can't look at yourself, you can't look at yourself, you can look at yourself, and you can't look at each other.
03
Self-confidence is always good, but self-confidence that is not based on self-knowledge is arrogance, so you may wish to think about it, is your self-confidence or arrogance? Exclude people who prefer to be alone and have absolutely no need for love and marriage.
So how to find the object?
On the basis of self-knowledge, determine what you want, determine what you like, and make it clear that you have your desire and need for your partner, for love, and for marriage, and you can only have the same. That is to say, you either want your partner to be handsome, or your partner is knowledgeable, you can only figure out one thing, you can't ask him to be handsome, but also ask him to be romantic, rich, honest, and so on.
At the same time, after you choose the other party's advantages (which are what you want), you must also accept and tolerate the shortcomings of the other party, after all, there are no sweet things in the world.
If you can't make this clear, you will only make yourself more and more embarrassed and passive in the marriage market, because when you are in the same place, it does not mean that everyone and your peers are in the same place.
In addition, if you can't be clear about your needs, or your will is always wavering, then you will never find what you want, because you will always be affected by all kinds of chicken soup, speech, opinions, and in the end, you will be biased by them, and you will always lose your direction.
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