Nowadays, entering social work requires a certain diploma, and parents hope that their children can study well and have a bright future in the future.
But sometimes, even if parents put all their heart and soul into their children, it is difficult for children to do what parents expect. For children with heavy learning responsibilities, children do not want to go to school, which makes parents feel very troublesome.
What should I do if a high school student who was studying well suddenly refuses to go to school, sleeps in, refuses to get up, and has a bad mood?
Guangzhou Youth Psychological Counseling supports you.
Wenwen is 13 years old this year, just entered the first year of high school, originally had very good grades, and was also admitted to a good high school in the city. The family is very happy and hopes that my daughter can study well and be admitted to a good university in the future.
However, two months after going to school, Wenwen suddenly did not want to go to school, she was listless every day, and her grades also declined.
Ms. Hao thought that the child had just arrived at the new school and was a little uncomfortable, but it would be good to adapt after a while. Now the child has not been to school for more than a month, sleeps in every day, refuses to get up, and looks very unenergetic every day.
Her parents talked to her, and she didn't pay attention. When her parents asked more or pressed her, she cried non-stop.
Ms. Hao was very anxious, not knowing what happened to this child, that is, she would not go to school. Seeing the child like this, the parents are also very distressed and do not know how to persuade her.
So I brought my children to Guangzhou, heard about it, and the psychological counseling center made an appointment with the chief counselor, Teacher Qiu Yihuan, for adolescent psychological counseling.
At first, Wenwen was very reluctant to come over, and after being brought over by her parents, she was also very resistant and refused to speak.
Psychological counselor Qiu Yihuan is very able to understand Wenwen's current emotional state and behavior, so he communicates with Wenwen alone and slowly opens Wenwen's resistance and defense.
It turns out that Wenwen has always been thinking about how the primary school teachers and classmates were not good in the past, thinking of those things is sad and depressing, sleeping poorly at night, often insomnia, not wanting to get up in the morning, no spirit in class, feeling very bad, thinking of the bad treatment of elementary school teachers and classmates, it is even more sad. Such a vicious circle, the grades went down, and I felt worse.
Wenwen herself is also very painful, and she also wants to change, but she always can't control to think, she also knows that the past things have passed, and they are all very small things, there is no need to think about it, but she can't do it. I can't tell my parents about such things, I really don't know what to do.
▏ Everything is meaningful, so why does Wenwen repeatedly think of the bad treatment of elementary school teachers and classmates?
In the consultation, Wenwen and Teacher Qiu Yihuan discussed these things in detail, it turned out that Wenwen was extremely introverted and inferior in the first to fifth grades of primary school, and she didn't get along well with her classmates, and the teacher didn't like her very much.
In fact, some of the things we experienced in our early years are very able to affect us now, although now we feel that it is a very small thing, not worth mentioning at all, but at that time, for that little us, such things are very large, difficult to deal with, and also bring us a lot of harm.
During the counseling process, Ms. Qiu helped Wenwen release her fear, anger, helplessness and depression that these past events had brought her.
When Wenwen is no longer trapped by the past, her inner energy is also enhanced. After evaluation, Teacher Qiu Yihuan felt that Wenwen could face what was happening now. So I went with her to explore why she would repeatedly recall the past during her freshman year of high school.
It turned out that Wenwen changed to a new school after entering the first year of high school, and the classmates in the class were all from different places, she was a day student, and sometimes she especially wanted to communicate with the classmates, but the more she thought about it, the worse the situation would be, and there would be some small troubles, which led to her frustration.
But seeing that the other students in the class get along relatively well, the atmosphere is very good, it will be very disappointing, feel abandoned by the collective, and when I try to talk to others, I find that everyone does not think like this, everyone hopes to get along well, there is no contradiction.
However, it is strange that sometimes you feel that others do not like you. It is also very strange to myself, sometimes showing an outgoing and cheerful personality, sometimes extremely introverted, not knowing what kind of person I am, very annoying.
Adolescence faces a crisis of self-unity, which refers to the individual's attempt to combine aspects related to himself to form a self-determined, coordinated, and different from others.
In this process, individuals will seek self-development, self-affirmation and thinking and choices about some major questions about self-development, such as what kind of person I am, ideals, career, values, outlook on life, etc.
In this process, the temporal dimension of the individual's past, present and future development must be involved. The establishment of self-identity means that individuals have a full understanding of themselves, can combine their past, present and future into an organic whole, establish their own ideals and values, and make their own thinking about the future development of the self.
Wenwen is difficult to form a unified understanding of her personality because of her past experience, she feels cheerful and outgoing for a while, she feels extremely introverted at the same time, she feels that everyone likes her for a while, and she feels that she is not liked for a while... Many contradictory views and evaluations filled her heart.
During the consultation, Teacher Qiu helped Wenwen build a healthy and good self according to her specific situation and learn to be self-satisfied. After a period of psychological counseling, Wenwen learned to recognize and affirm herself, go to school happily, and study hard for her dreams.
Guangzhou adolescent psychological counseling reminder
There must be a reason why children are tired of school and refuse to go to school. When parents force their children to go to school, the children will be very resistant in their hearts, still have no intention of studying, and also affect the physical and mental health of the children and hurt the parent-child relationship.
In the face of the problem of children's boredom of school, parents should try to analyze the reasons for their children's boredom of school, pay attention to the cause and effect of everything, and find out what is the reason for children's boredom of school, in order to achieve targeted and double the effect with half the effort.