Find a home, get a single favor, wear a white veil, and enter the palace of marriage. Such a wish should be the common expectation of all women.
Some people say that marriage is a besieged city, and people on the outside want to come in, but people on the inside want to get rid of the shackles, which seems to be a bit pessimistic.
It is not the objective factors that determine the quality of feelings, but the heart, concepts and living habits. Mutual respect and mutual love, hand in hand, then you can grasp happiness.
There is an unspoken rule in marriage: give the other party enough respect, put the other half in the most important position, the relationship can be stable for a long time.
Clarifying the primary and secondary and handling the relationship between love and affection is a sign of a person's maturity and an important prerequisite for harvesting a warm life.
For men, the mother-in-law relationship is an important challenge after marriage. Whether this relationship can be coordinated will affect the degree of harmony of the whole family.
Reader Zhang Qian (pseudonym) wrote to her, she was originally full of expectations for marriage, but after marriage, her husband did everything to protect her mother, and even used "please respect my mother" to accuse and complain, which made her feel desperate.
01. Since she was a child, Zhang Qian has been spoiled by her parents and elders. She has a gentle personality, is sensible and generous, and is very good at housework, and loves cleanliness in life.
Because she is somewhat introverted, she rarely has contact with the opposite sex. Once repairing her mobile phone, she met Xiao Zhi (pseudonym). The boy is a good man and can speak well.
After some exhaustive pursuit, Zhang Qian was moved. In getting along, she feels that the other party is very intimate and filial, and every time she goes shopping or eats, Xiaozhi will bring some snacks or daily necessities to her mother.
It wasn't long before the two moved in together. Since then, Xiao Zhi has become a bit of a cutter, but Zhang Qian also understands that after all, marriage requires saving a lot of money.
02. When talking about marriage, she learned that Xiao Zhi came from a single-parent family. So it was decided that as long as 18,000 dowry, at the same time to marry a car, bear half of the house down payment.
Originally full of confidence in marriage, but half a month before marriage, Xiao Zhi temporarily repented, he refused to take out the bride price, and used the excuse to delay the purchase of a house.
"My mother said that marriage is not a transaction, and if you give a bride price, the nature will change." Besides, the house is reinforced concrete, there is no need to buy! ”
In the face of such prevarication, Zhang Qian had the idea of breaking up. But she's a traditional girl who doesn't want to be seen as a joke, so she has to choose to compromise.
03. With all kinds of displeasure, the two quickly consummated their marriage. After living in the newly rented house, Zhang Qian decided to start a new life. But a week later, the mother-in-law moved in.
In order to gain recognition, she provides a thousand living expenses for each other every month, and contracts most of the housework, while also regularly buying some fruit snacks.
At first, life was quite harmonious, but soon after, her mother-in-law felt that she was wasteful: "This thing has just expired, why throw it away?" "Leftovers can still be eaten, wouldn't it be nice to put them in the refrigerator?"
Knowing that her mother-in-law was thrifty, Zhang Qian tried her best to understand, but every time she saw that the refrigerator was full of smelly ingredients, she felt a little unhappy in her heart.
Take the time to help her mother-in-law wash the sheets, the other party thinks she is eventful and fake clean; buy some high-end fruits, the mother-in-law said that she spends money indiscriminately and will not live a life...
04. Zhang Qian is very aggrieved, but she does not complain much, because she knows in her heart that Xiao Zhi and her mother-in-law have been dependent on each other since childhood, and they have suffered a lot along the way, and there is no need to be too real.
What's more, from the tone, she could feel Xiao Zhi's protection for her mother. In order to avoid the escalation of contradictions, she endured again and again, and did not want to cause trouble for herself.
Mother-in-law's birthday, Zhang Qian carefully prepared a gift, she knows that the other party likes to play cards and go shopping, so she sent a bag of more than two thousand yuan.
But the mother-in-law's face changed dramatically: "Do you know how many vegetables you can buy for more than two thousand yuan?" You are so big, do you want to live a long time? ”
"Mom, I've always been relatively frugal myself, and I've specially selected a bag that suits you, so you don't have to count me down like this, right?"
The meal was very unpleasant, and after some arguments, Zhang Qian ran back to her mother's house in anger. That night, she received Xiao Zhi's message, and her heart suddenly had a little comfort.
Seeing the content, she was extremely cold. "Please respect my mother in the future, and then divorce me if you do that!" For a time, Zhang Qian was desperate about marriage and had the idea of breaking up.
Emotional analysis:
Uncared for love and a life full of grievances completely drained Zhang Qian's patience. Maybe in the beginning, she should stop the loss in time.
Married life for decades, can not always be settled, live happily is the most important. If the other party is not willing to negotiate and change, it is not impossible to choose to separate.
In the relationship, everyone must play their role and assume corresponding responsibilities. If you don't care about your lover's feelings, it will ruin the trust between you.
In fact, family affection and love are not in conflict, in the face of contradictions in life, problems between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, smart men will have their own opinions and become a bridge for communication between both sides.
Clarifying priorities, putting lovers first, and maintaining relative fairness are the basic principles of solving problems and an important secret to maintaining feelings.
Two people need a great fate to come together, willing to take the initiative to compromise and cater to your lover, to cherish. Guarding with heart can exchange for the other party's inseparable.