Different cities, the same frequency of you
Ending song name: Liu Ruihong - Rainbow Paradise
Source: Action Faction | Author: Lei Lei
（ID：xingdongpai77）
Shortly after a couple got married, the husband proposed that both parties implement the AA system financially.
The wife first has to bear the daily expenses of the family, and pays monthly mortgage repayments. Secondly, after the wife gives birth to the child, the husband only bears the living expenses of 800 yuan. What is even more shocking is that during childbirth, the wife once asked her husband to buy more than 1,000 yuan of analgesic pumps to relieve pain, but she was refused!
This is not some fictional plot, these things come from a documentary TV show "Gold Medal Mediation", which tells the family conflict between Mr. Su and Ms. Liu, an AA-based couple.
Mr. Su is the deputy general manager of a company and Ms. Liu is the financial director of a company. It is reasonable to say that the income of both people should be good, plus after years of struggle in Shenzhen, now there is a house and a car, it can be said that there is no worry about food and clothing, and even better than the average person, so everything looks very good.
But after twelve years of marriage, there is one thing that constantly pokes Ms. Liu's heart like a thorn, and that is her financial insecurity.
What's going on? It turned out that soon after Ms. Liu and Mr. Su got married, Mr. Su put forward the requirement that the husband and wife implement the AA system in the economy.
The AA system is that two people share the cost equally. The AA system in marriage means that both husband and wife bear their own living expenses, and the common expenses of the family are also shared equally by both parties, and there is no financial interference with each other.
Ms. Liu felt very sudden and did not approve of this way. But Mr. Su insisted on such a division, saying that he had hobbies such as stock trading and buying futures, and wanted to have financial freedom, so he was reluctant to give his income to his wife to manage to avoid contradictions.
In fact, it is not that couples cannot implement the AA system, after all, every couple in this world has their own financial model. But the premise is that no matter which economic model is, it must be negotiated and affirmed by both sides.
In particular, such an economic model will not affect each other's feelings, and both sides can still get along on an equal footing. More importantly, two people should have the same concept and constantly grind out the right way to get along and live in practice.
In the case of Ms. Liu and Mr. Su, there are two problems.
First, the husband suddenly brought it up after marriage. This made the woman completely unprepared, and Mr. Su's stubborn request was not a way of negotiation at all, but almost forced. It's hard not to wonder if the marriage had an ulterior motive. Guess what, this marriage will be very uncomfortable, then it will lead to two people's emotional foundation from the beginning is not stable.
Second, playing stocks, futures, etc. is itself a high-risk project, Mr. Su only takes care of his "hobbies" and makes this request, can it be said that it is too selfish? After all, getting married is to two people to bear the ups and downs together, and now a little money wants to play by themselves, what if they lose all? Do you still need your wife to pay for your daily life? What's more, even if you want to make some investments, can't you negotiate with your wife?
In the show, Mr. Su is unwilling to negotiate concessions in the face of his wife's dissatisfaction, and even insists on implementing the AA system, which is very domineering and arbitrary.
After several objections were invalid, Ms. Liu finally had no choice but to accept it.
Xi Murong once said: "Marriage should be two people holding hands and facing the world together." "Now Ms. Liu feels like she's still alone in the face of the world. The husband's "domineering" style of the economy made Ms. Liu feel quite surprised and helpless, coupled with the suspicion and quarrel caused by the two people, this series of events made Ms. Liu feel that she had been abandoned in marriage.
In fact, if the AA system is placed on the dinner between friends or the sharing of activity costs, it is a way to not hurt feelings but also gather everyone's strength to eat and have fun. But in marriage, the AA system is not something that can be lived well with each other's money.
Mr. Su believes that the AA system makes the economic boundaries between each other clear, and he has also promised not to evade the responsibilities of the family because of the AA system. But commitment is committed, put into real life, in order to see the essence of a person.
In an AA marriage, Ms. Liu not only has to bear the family's living expenses, son's childcare and other expenses in education, but also has to repay the loan of the house she lives in.
Mr. Su is responsible for the consumption of vehicles and the repayment of mortgages for another house in a different place. But he invested little in the family's living expenses and exuded financial resources and enthusiasm in the securities market.
All this is "reciprocal" in Mr. Su's eyes, and what better reflects Mr. Su's implementation of the AA system to the end occurred during his wife's caesarean section.
Ms. Liu's abdominal pain after caesarean section was unbearable, so she asked Mr. Su to sign as a family member and agreed to purchase an analgesic pump of more than 1,000 yuan for her to save the pain.
The doctor informed Mr. Su that the analgesic pump was a self-funded variety and could not be reimbursed by medical insurance. Unexpectedly, after Mr. Su listened, he actually indignantly said to his wife, "Then it will hurt for a while." So, gave up the purchase.
Under the surface of disgusting "expensive", what does Mr. Su think in his heart? He believes that the use of analgesic pumps will delay the time for maternal recovery, and he is well-intentioned and hopes that his wife will recover her health as soon as possible.
Whether the analgesic pump affects the postpartum recovery of the mother can be diagnosed by a professional doctor for Ms. Liu's condition, but at this time the wife is suffering from pain and suffering. As a husband, instead of taking the initiative to find ways to ease or comfort his wife, he said the indifferent words "then it hurts for a while" to her request.
Behind such indifferent words, it is difficult not to ask, does Mr. Su really care about his wife? Or is money actually more important than people and feelings? If there is no affection between husband and wife, it is just a stranger with a husband and wife relationship, what is the meaning of marriage?
Ms. Liu said that Mr. Su once bought cosmetics in Hong Kong and brought them back to himself. This was originally a good thing full of sweet romance and enhanced the feelings of husband and wife, but in the blink of an eye, the husband actually collected money from himself!
What is the difference between this ridiculous "gift-giving" method and purchasing on behalf of others? It is not even possible to talk about purchasing on behalf of others, it is simply "forced to sell and buy". The two men turn comedy into farce alive, which makes the otherwise precarious feelings worse.
The AA system is not an economic model between the couple, it has become the "law" of Mr. Su's married life. Everything that husband and wife do is to follow this rule, which is greater than everything, and this is your default as a wife. In this way, he is neither willing to give affection nor money to his wife in marriage. Has been living in their own interests and losses, and gradually become a cold-blooded machine under the AA system.
The AA system in marriage itself is not terrible, the terrible thing is that someone unconsciously or ulteriorly uses it as an excuse for all behavior, becoming a fig leaf for their own irresponsibility.
In this way, because of the AA system, Mr. Su divided the family economic account with Ms. Liu into the "Chu River Han Boundary", and the feelings of the two people became more and more indifferent.
With the addition of a new life in the family, Ms. Liu needs to buy a large number of baby products for the swaddled children, and also needs to increase nutrition to preserve breastfeeding, so Ms. Liu invited her mother to take care of herself, and the cost of the family increased sharply.
At this time, Mr. Su only left 800 yuan in living expenses and went to work in other places. He left everything behind, putting enormous financial pressure and family responsibilities on his wife alone.
In Mr. Su's mouth, he has given more than 20% of his monthly salary to his wife, and has already borne the part he should pay under the AA system in marriage, and the living expenses of his wife and children are enough to rely on his wife's income.
And Mr. Su's wife, who thinks that she is not short of money, actually works part-time in order to earn money to support the family.
In Mr. Su's eyes, because all items are clearly marked, he feels that 800 yuan is enough to buy various baby supplies. However, we would like to ask, can this price please a sister-in-law who pays her wholeheartedly?
To put it bluntly, Mr. Su cannot see his wife's contribution to the family at all, nor does he recognize her value. The AA system burdens things with "price", and the intangible things such as physical labor, mental effort, and personal value are not within the scope of the AA system. Under the narrow understanding of the AA system, the family responsibilities of a husband and a father are borne with 800 yuan.
Even so, Mr. Su still thinks that he is very wronged, and he has also paid for it financially, and his hard work is all for the sake of this family. Needless to say, Ms. Liu feels that her husband lacks responsibility for family responsibilities and works hard just to earn money for himself.
As the saying goes: "Husband and wife are originally the same forest bird, and they fly separately when the big trouble is imminent", but here Mr. Su and Ms. Liu are flying separately on ordinary days.
In fact, even if the husband and wife are AA, as a family, there must be a common need to spend and operate the part. The financial planning of two people should first be used to meet the family's expenses and operations, and then the balance can be used to meet the needs of the husband and wife in terms of personal interests and hobbies, only in this way can the family run well. That is what is commonly said: family interests come first, personal interests come later.
The AA system, where personal interests are paramount, does not count economic transactions or family responsibilities.
It is said that marriage is a matter of two families, even if Ms. Liu endures her husband's various calculations in the economy, then when the couple puts this economic model on their parents?
The night before Ms. Liu's mother returned to her hometown, the couple went to the supermarket to buy less than 100 yuan of food, ready to take it to their mother on the train to eat. However, after checking out, Mr. Su looked through the food bag and felt that he had bought too much. Thinking that his mother-in-law would not be able to finish eating on the train, he returned to the second floor of the supermarket and returned some snacks.
Another time, Ms. Liu's father and Mr. Su went to get a haircut together, and when checking out, Mr. Su asked the old man: "Did you bring money?" This made the old man very embarrassed, and then he avoided his son-in-law. Mr. Su's stubborn thinking and ridiculous words and deeds of the "AA system" stunned the audience.
The AA system, like a shredder, shattered the recognition and expectations of relatives for Mr. Su little by little.
The various calculations on the chai rice oil and salt, coupled with the contradictions between her husband and her parents, made Ms. Liu see the truth of this marriage a little bit. As her disappointment and resentment toward her husband deepened, she began to sneer at her husband's affairs and did not ask questions, which further caused her husband's dissatisfaction. Negative emotions on both sides are accumulating, and finally they are completely exploded because of one thing.
At that time, Mr. Su was going to Hong Kong to buy a mobile phone, and did not listen to his wife's arrangement to send his children to the training class, And Ms. Liu naturally could not hold back her emotions, and the two had a verbal altercation. Under the accumulated negative emotions, Mr. Su did not control himself for a while, pushing his wife to the ground, causing her arm to bleed.
A few days afterwards, Mr. Su did not verbally apologize or buy medicine for his wife to heal her injuries, but left her to Go to Hong Kong in order to buy a mobile phone.
At this point, Ms. Liu believes that the married life of the two has no hope.
She worked hard, and now her income far exceeds that of her husband and has increased significantly, enough to support herself and her children. Faced with a "one-person" marriage that has neither the love of her husband nor the financial backing, Ms. Liu only wants to end as soon as possible, and living alone is her most important choice at present.
Some people say that the two fundamental reasons for the breakdown of marriage are: hugging each other but not loving each other, and loving each other but not knowing how to get along. This AA system of getting along is simply a typical negative teaching material.
Of course, in the program, after mediation, Mr. Su realized his problem. He is willing to correct his narrow self-economic concept, agrees to give his income to his wife to manage in a unified way, only earn money himself, strive to assume family responsibilities, care for his wife and children, and also apologize to Ms. Liu's parents.
The husband's emotional confession impressed his wife, and Ms. Liu decided to make another effort for the family, abandoning her previous suspicions and continuing to work together to run the family.
Later in life, the bittersweet and bittersweet are still only known by two people themselves. Just behind such a "farce" of AA marriage, we can think about whether the "AA system" is completely unfeasible in married life.
The answer is not absolute. The key to this is that when the couple has a boundary in the economy, they need to face the test of the "AA system" in intimate relationships, family responsibilities, future planning of both parties and various trivial matters.
At the same time, the AA system is not a husband and wife divided into "Chu River and Han Boundary", it is only a financial management method, which should be flexible and flexible. After all, responsibilities and obligations in marriage are essential for couples with any financial management method.
And the AA system is not used as an excuse to escape all this.
In the merchant's ledger, it is written that income minus expenditure equals profit.
In the account book of the husband and wife, it should be written that love plus being loved equals happiness.
Hopefully, people who are confused, confused and curious about AA marriage can be inspired by the stories of Mr. Su and Ms. Liu. In this way, you can find your own way to get along with marriage and find your own happiness.
About the Author: Lei Lei, action-oriented author. Source of this article: Action Faction (xingdongpai77).
"It's a shame that you actually ate all your food"...
(How many people have been destroyed by this deformed three views)