Recently, I was watching the TV series "Dear Little" that was sold by Diss for anxiety.
In fact, I rarely follow family TV series, always feel that they are not grounded, too far from life, but after "Dear Child" is clicked, I can't help but keep watching.
While watching, while sighing in my heart, it is too realistic, this is completely real life!
Those who say that this drama creates anxiety, I am afraid that they can only watch the variety show.
The story begins with the self-observation of the mother Fang Yinuo in front of the mirror in the third trimester:
There are more stretch marks on the face and stretch marks on the stomach.
She was happy and troubled, and she didn't know anything about how chaotic the life she was about to face was.
It's not like us before the birth of a child.
I thought that pregnancy was already very hard, just waiting for the "unloading" to be able to relax a little, but I did not think that this was just the beginning. No one tells us how having a baby changes a woman and how it subverts a family.
The real test begins with the birth of a child.
Fang Yinuo struggled to give birth in the hospital.
Xiao Lu drank beer at home, watched a ball game, and slept heavily.
Fang Yinuo was pushed out of the delivery room and no one answered.
Xiao Lu was busy delivering placentas and small talk to his mother.
Fang Yinuo was emotionally out of control by postpartum depression, frequent breastfeeding, and hospitalization of his child for jaundice.
Xiao Lu couldn't empathize at all, he didn't care between words, it didn't matter, he didn't know why his wife had become so unreasonable.
Fang Yinuo was caused to collapse by lack of sleep and with a baby.
Xiao Lu should not wake up when he should be kicked at night, and in order to escape from work, he hid from going home. In order to make money, let the wife and children live better.
Fang Yinuo and his mother-in-law broke out into a conflict, and Xiao Lu only knew and thin mud and escaped, not to solve the problem.
Isn't this the state of a family with a baby?
Most of my friends, including me, fell hard in the first year after giving birth. Anxiety and depression for the body, hormonal changes lead to uncontrollable ups and downs in mood, and even postpartum depression. Not to mention, due to the care of small life, resulting in sleep deprivation, high tension anxiety and exhaustion.
At that stage, the family contradictions were thrown everywhere, and the relationship between husband and wife was thrown to the name.
So, in fact, what makes people anxious is the reality itself, this TV series is just to open a corner of marriage and present the truth to us.
Reality a lot of times, to be more chaotic and embarrassing.
The truth in this drama also lies in the fact that we can see the complexity and multi-faceted nature of human nature.
For example, Xiao Lu, who cheated and caused the marriage to break up. It seems that each step is not a big mistake, but step by step towards a bigger mistake.
The wife didn't show up because he was so tired that day.
After a busy day, he also made a temporary cameo in the lion dance. The wife ran to the hospital in a hurry to give birth, and was called to work overtime by the boss halfway through, and quickly ran home. When I found that I didn't have to do the work, I was tired of becoming a dog.
Originally, I just wanted to catch my breath and take a break, but I fell asleep without paying attention.
He also knew that his wife had to supplement nutrition during confinement, go to the market to buy live fish, and crucian catfish were not clear.
He also wanted to help take care of the children, did not know what to change the clothes for the children, and took all the brains, only to be complained about being clumsy.
I was about to go home, afraid of disturbing the child's sleep, so I slept in the car.
He felt like he had worked hard, but everyone's attention was on the child, and no one noticed how he felt. Finally, in a chaotic quarrel:
"Since the birth of a child, there has not been a day of stability,
I work hard during the day and come back at night to work.
Now I sleep on the couch, and I have back pain every day when I go to work.
Which of you has lost face to which one, which one is not happy, I am afraid, you have to coax.
The old coaxes the small ones, and the little ones coax the old ones.
Because it is a family, it hurts you, and I don't want you to be wronged,
But what about you? Who hurts me! ”
From the powerless slap of the self, to the pouring out of the heart and lungs to the grievances, to the collapse and crying...
I really hate him.
There is also the mother-in-law who is always working with Yinuo, with her teeth dancing.
With children, but still smoking and gambling. Taking advantage of the baby to walk around, he even secretly smoked a cigarette.
Pushing a stroller, I also want to play mahjong, but I was distracted, and one accidentally dropped the child.
But you can't say she's just an evil mother-in-law.
Originally, when it was time to enjoy the old age in peace, the hard work of bringing a baby at the daughter-in-law's house was not to be said, and it was also necessary to follow the rules and regulations of the daughter-in-law.
The old man in her 60s, the way of life is difficult to change, naturally it is not adaptable, but she complains and complains, what to do or try to do, in fact, it is also a good nature.
In front of outsiders, she did not say bad things about her daughter-in-law, when the neighbor asked her why she did not come out to play, she said, "Daughter-in-law gives birth to a child, where do you have time to do something else, gave birth to a daughter, intimate little cotton jacket." Hello girls, we are all daughters-in-law Zhang Luo inside and outside the home."
On the big right and wrong, she also carried it very clearly. The son cheated, and she stood for the daughter-in-law. She respects Yinuo's decision, and also understands the difficulty of single women with children, if Yinuo opens her mouth, she is always ready to help Yinuo.
She has a lot of problems, but it's not bad, just not adapted to living with young people. In real life, most mothers-in-law are not like this?
So, if you ask me what is true? I would feel that this complexity is real.
There are no absolute bad guys or absolute good guys in the real world. In some things, from your own point of view, you will think that this person is also too outrageous, the wife has children can drink and watch the ball game? Can you smoke and play mahjong with your baby?
But from another perspective, when we consider the problem from their point of view, we will find that it is not so bad, but each has its own heartache.
That's why I was drawn, sighed, and watched.
What makes people desperate in marriage is not the result itself, but the disappointments accumulated over a long process.
When they divorced, Xiao Lu and Fang Yinuo tore their faces and scolded each other. What made her angry was not Xiao Lu's derailment at all.
Yinuo was disappointed that every time he encountered something and needed to rely on it, every time Xiao Lu dropped the chain at a critical moment.
When giving birth to a child, Xiao Lu is not there, the child jaundice is to be hospitalized Xiao Lu is not there, and the child has a fever on a rainy night to be sent to the hospital Xiao Lu is not there.
Countless nights, night milk coaxing baby, Xiao Lu is also not there...
Over time, these disappointments became indifferent and secret complaints between husband and wife, which passed on the surface, but in fact, they quietly accumulated in their hearts and became a bomb.
If no changes are made, even without Zhu Zhu, they will come to this step.
In reality, it's the same.
Maybe it's just a small friction, a difference of opinion, a cumulative disappointment, that has become a mountain that crushes us.
Back to ourselves, as people who have come over, I think all mothers will have different degrees of empathy when they see it.
The physical pain of childbirth, postpartum incontinence, and physical deformation experienced by women, as well as the hardship of caring for children, many times men cannot see or empathize with it
Moreover, women's reproductive and nurturing efforts are sometimes even taken for granted.
Like portrayed in this TV series, don't you catch up on sleep during the day? So you should stay up late with your baby.
Xiao Lu was not unaware of the hardships of taking care of the children, but he was at ease to push these responsibilities to his wife.
And many mothers, like Yinuo, have been too hard, too hard, too much to bear, but still harsh on themselves, not good enough.
Raising children is certainly a wonderful thing, giving us the opportunity to participate in witnessing the growth of another life, but with it, these hardships and pains cannot be pretended not to exist.
So, I support such a TV series! Let our pain points be seen and let others shine into our lives.
Being a mother is really not easy, we deserve to be loved by others, and we are more worthy of loving ourselves.
(Image from the Internet, copyright belongs to the author)