Text/Themi Mama (original article, welcome to share and forward personally)
Hello everyone, I'm Themi Mom~
At present, the elderly with babies has become a social trend, young people have to run for life, lest they need the help of the elderly.
In the matter of taking a baby, grandma and grandpa have gradually become the main force with a baby, and play an increasingly important role.
However, compared with grandparents with babies, grandmas with babies, may encounter more problems, because from the traditional concept, grandma to help bring babies need to go from "their own home" to "daughter's home", so from the role positioning alone, it is inevitable that they may encounter various situations.
Speaking of this, a grandmother in our community who came from her hometown to help her daughter and son-in-law with her baby has the most right to speak, and her ideas have also been praised by everyone as sober in the world.
01. Behind the grandmother's door to bring a baby to her daughter and son-in-law, there is a lot of helplessness
Aunt Sun's family is from Tongchuan, Shaanxi, the daughter married to Xi'an, the two places together for more than a hundred kilometers, originally helped the daughter with the baby, it was not her turn.
But it was 3 months ago, the daughter's mother-in-law fell down after dancing and had a fracture, this time the daughter and son-in-law had to go to work, and the child was not taken care of, which took Aunt Sun from her hometown.
Because I often walk my baby in the community, I have become familiar with Aunt Sun when I come and go, and she brings her granddaughter very well, and the things prepared on the usual cart are also readily available.
When we get together and chat, we will mention that Aunt Sun looks like a baby, which looks much more than many of our young people majoring in science.
For example, the operation of drinking milk powder for granddaughters is worth learning, because the grasp of temperature and time is very accurate.
At first, we thought it was their new professional childcare sister-in-law, but when we asked, we knew that it was the child's grandmother.
However, Aunt Sun also has a lot of helplessness, for example, she said that her current way of taking the baby is taught by her daughter and son-in-law, they are both busy, before they were all grandma belts, this is not no way to pick me up, I am also groping.
From the mouth of Aunt Sun, in fact, we can hear that behind helping her daughter and son-in-law with her baby, there is actually a lot of helplessness and bitterness.
Finally, Aunt Sun told us with her own personal experience that if she helps her daughter and son-in-law with her baby, it is best to meet 3 conditions, otherwise there will be too much helplessness.
02. "Bring a baby to your daughter and son-in-law, it is best to meet 3 conditions", the summary of the mother's mother, was praised sober
Aunt Sun said that she and her wife only have one daughter, and when she first knew that she had a granddaughter, she was also very happy, but she and her wife are both rural, and it is not easy to go to her daughter's house, plus her past experience with a baby, it is not suitable for use now.
But after bringing a baby to her daughter this time, she also felt that there was a lot of resistance for her grandmother to bring a baby, so she summed up three points, which were used to advise many elderly people who help their daughters and sons-in-law to bring their babies, and if they want to help them with their babies, it is best to meet these 3 conditions.
Grandma helps her daughter and son-in-law to bring a baby, and it is best to have a certain economic ability
In fact, some of the elderly people around them who help their children with their babies have mentioned this point, and they generally use their own pocket money.
On the one hand, reaching out to their children for money is something that many parents find difficult to talk about.
On the other hand, parents are not willing to let their children feel that they have to pay for the "hard work" of bringing a baby.
Especially for the grandmother and grandfather who help their daughters and sons-in-law with their babies, they feel even more embarrassed about the matter of "money".
If you have a pension and security, it is fine, but like Aunt Sun, you and your wife are farming for a living, and once you are old, it is difficult to have other economic income.
Coupled with the high level of consumption in big cities, like the case of Aunt Sun, sometimes it is inevitable to feel stretched, but it is not appropriate to ask for it directly with her daughter.
Therefore, the elderly with the baby, it is best to have a certain economic ability, otherwise the dilemma, sometimes the grievance can only be their own.
Grandma helps her daughter and son-in-law to bring a baby, and it is best for her daughter to have a certain right to speak and be willing to help her mother support her.
In the traditional sense, grandma helping her daughter with a baby is a role positioning that helps from "her own home" to "relatives".
Therefore, after some elderly people go to their daughter's home, they will feel all kinds of inconvenience and cramping, so if the daughter has a certain right to speak, then this "embarrassment" can be well resolved.
On the contrary, the mother-in-law may not be so comfortable in the daughter's home, and it can even be said that it is everywhere.
What is even more helpless is that if the daughter not only does not support the mother-in-law, but also encounters problems and blames her mother, then when the grandmother takes the baby, she will feel more intense grievances and suffocation.
Aunt Sun encountered these situations, because now young people emphasize scientific parenting, so many of her parenting care methods, in the eyes of daughters and sons-in-law, there are some that are not very professional, so sometimes what is said hurts Aunt Sun's heart.
Grandma helps her daughter and son-in-law to bring a baby, and it is best for the old two to be together
Aunt Sun was alone in her daughter's house to help with the baby, while her wife was in the countryside.
So when she comes, Aunt Sun often worries about whether her wife is eating well or not, sleeping well, etc., after all, they have spent a lifetime together.
Second, because his wife is not around, Aunt Sun came to the big city alone, life is not familiar, sometimes it is inevitable to be lonely, want to find someone to talk to, it is particularly difficult, even if there is any grievance, you can only swallow alone in the stomach.
So sometimes in the community, when I see Aunt Sun pushing the child to walk, I feel a little desolate in my eyes.
In fact, just like Aunt Sun said, helping her daughter and son-in-law with a baby is a reasonable thing in itself, but if you can't meet these basic conditions, then even if you work hard, in the end it is you who suffers.
03. Mother Themi has something to say:
For the vast majority of people, in their later years, they hope that their children and grandchildren will be happy and happy, but the reality is that today's young people have also borne a lot of pressure, so the elderly have to join the army with their babies, thus depriving them of the right to enjoy their old age and pursue the life they want.
Of course, in the case that the reality cannot be avoided, we hope that the children can see more difficulties in the elderly, whether it is grandparents or grandparents, give them more care and understanding, perhaps, those hearts will be gone.
Or perhaps, it is a word of recognition from the mouth of the children that can make them roll up their sleeves and work hard, so don't be stingy with praise, and don't turn a blind eye to the efforts of the elderly.
Finally, I would like to ask you, do you think it is an easy thing for your grandmother to take a baby?