01
A writer wrote: "I slowly and slowly learned that the so-called father-daughter mother-son relationship only means that your fate with him is that you are constantly watching his back drift away in this life and this life." ”
The distance between our parents and us will not get closer and closer because of our filial piety, but only because of the passage of time.
From the moment we are born, the time we spend with our parents is like an hourglass, less and less. One day, we will leave our parents.
There is a saying that "the tree wants to be quiet and the wind is not stopping, and the son wants to raise and not to be kissed." ”
Some things, some people, once missed, will not come back. Take the matter of "filial piety", the opportunity will only become less and less, and it is wise to grasp the moment.
With the passage of time, parents will eventually have the day to leave. At the last moment of sending them off, we should be full of reluctance, even crying until weep until we are physically and mentally exhausted.
At this time, there are often some children, not only do not cry, but even expressionless, giving people a feeling of not caring about themselves, hanging high.
Such people often feel strange, why don't they grieve?
It can be said that those who do not cry and have no emotions often have these kinds of mentalities.
02
Mindset 1: Extreme sadness, but not revealed.
Some emotional researchers believe that when a person is extremely sad, he often does not show the most extreme emotions.
Generally speaking, no one can accept the news of their parents' departure. However, not everyone wept bitterly. Crying, just appearances, can never represent the true side.
Some people show their feelings in the most direct expressions, so that people can feel his pain and sorrow.
And some people bury their feelings in the deepest part of their hearts, and all the emotions are known only to him, and no one else knows.
The former is what we often call "heartache and weeping". And the latter is the "great compassion and silence" that makes people sigh.
The so-called "great courage is cowardice, great wisdom is foolishness, and great compassion is silent." ”
The more authentic the character, the less it will be revealed on the surface. Especially those who are particularly emotional, their minds, no one can understand. Therefore, not to cry randomly on the surface is their most rational choice.
But it should be said that everyone's response to sad emotions is different. Don't be harsh, just forgive.
03
Mindset two: Take responsibility and can't get emotionally out of control.
In a family, there is always a need for a pillar to support the overall situation.
The top pillars have been strong, there have been no problems, and all members of the family can find themselves to rely on. On the contrary, once this pillar falls, who can shoulder the heavy responsibility of this family?
Therefore, after the departure of parents, there is a need for such a person to endure the grief in the heart, deal with the aftermath, and not lose reason because of excessive extremism, affecting the stability of the subsequent family.
Perhaps, we will feel that people who are like pillars do not have much affection; perhaps, we will feel that some people who are too rational are not a good thing; perhaps, we will feel that people who return from their parents without tears are people who are ruthless and unjust.
In fact, there are very few heartless and unrighteous people in this world. All the ruthlessness and unrighteousness of everything appear for the sake of the "big picture".
People who have less responsibility for their backs can naturally cry loudly. And people who have too many responsibilities may not even be qualified to cry. This is the misfortune of such a person as the pillar.
So to tolerate those who are strong with family responsibilities are the only ones who cannot be overly emotional.
04
Mindset three: The deceased is gone, pray for well.
A friend once said that when his father left, he did not cry, but prayed more. In his opinion, his father had suffered so much all his life and suffered so much illness, so when his father left, he must have gone to heaven to enjoy the blessings.
After hearing this friend's voice, some people around them wondered, enjoying happiness, isn't it only when you are alive that you can realize it? Why is it said that the old man left to enjoy the blessings?
In fact, this friend's father, who has advanced cancer, has undergone many major surgeries in the past ten years, and has gone to chemotherapy year after year, even weighing less than 100 pounds, and has been suffering, which is particularly painful.
And his father also told him that if he left, he would no longer have to suffer, which was a good thing. As children, do not weep or grieve, but bless, because you can be free from the sea of suffering.
In this world, not all departures are sad. Others leave, which are liberation. Therefore, as children, it is good to pray, and the thoughts in the heart are much more real than the words.
05
Mindset four: little intersection, no emotion.
The first three kinds of people are all children of special filial piety. Only the fourth type of person does not have much affection for their parents, so they will not have sad emotions.
If this person rarely interacts with his parents, I believe that he will not have too much nostalgia because of the departure of his parents.
If this person does not take his parents to heart at all, I believe that he will not have too many expressions and emotions.
If this person has ever been suppressed by his parents, believe that he will not have too many real feelings.
Since there are people in this world who love their parents, there are naturally people who do not love their parents. The so-called "ten people have nine products, different characters" is this truth.
For children, it is necessary to be filial to their parents when they are alive. Time will only pass forever, and we should not regret it after losing our loved ones.
That's all.
Wen/Shushan has deer