After a woman gets married, she often needs to face three "homes", the first home is her own mother's family, that is, her original parents, the second family is the husband's family, that is, the in-laws' family, the third family is her new home, her own family and her husband's family, the three families are sometimes intimate, but they are also able to give themselves comfort and dependence, but they also need to be loyal to each other, understand each other, and manage the relationship between the three families well to get a better life.
Between these three families, the relationship between the in-laws and the mother-in-law's family is often the most difficult to manage, especially in the face of some money transactions, it is easy to cause the relationship between each other to become sour, and even lead to the failure of feelings.
Netizen Ms. Yuan originally had a happy married life, and the couple's feelings were good since they were married for two years, but they broke the stability of the marriage after the birth of the child.
After the birth of the child, Ms. Yuan's mother-in-law came to the house to take care of it for a few days, she did not want to come, because she felt a little tired, could not take care of it, in fact, Ms. Yuan's husband Mr. Li's family is very good, the in-laws and mother-in-law have a good job, and now the mother-in-law has also retired, each and the light pension has been a lot, plus the father-in-law's income is not low now, and the mother-in-law may be a little squeamish, accustomed to a comfortable day, and now it is naturally a little difficult to take care of the child, so it is unbearable to take care of it for a few days.
However, the mother-in-law is still reasonable, and she also discussed with Ms. Yuan:
"My mother-in-law is incompetent, really not very good at taking care of children, this way, I take ten thousand yuan a month, help you to ask the sister-in-law, the sister-in-law must take care of me more carefully, professional, my mother is also so many years, enjoy the days to enjoy the habit, now suddenly let me so busy, really a little bit of care is not thoughtful." 」
In fact, after the mother-in-law's words came out, Ms. Yuan did not complain in her heart, after all, she also understood the family situation of the in-laws, the family conditions were very good, the mother-in-law was also very idle on weekdays, not very good at taking care of people, this she also understood in her heart, and the mother-in-law gave Mr. Li ten thousand yuan a month to ask for a sister-in-law, in fact, there were a lot more, because she understood that asking for a good sister-in-law was actually six or seven thousand yuan a month, so from this point of view, the mother-in-law still takes care of the small family of two people.
And for the matter of inviting the sister-in-law, Ms. Yuan and her husband and wife have not been estranged, let alone quarreled because of it, but Ms. Yuan told her mother about the matter of asking for a sister-in-law, but her mother was suddenly unhappy and said angrily:
"You married into his family, and this also gave birth to a grand grandchild in their family, and this grandmother does not take good care of you and take care of your grandchildren. Can outsiders compare with their relatives, and the family is too irresponsible. ”
Although Ms. Yuan's mother was very angry, she was no longer angry under Ms. Yuan's comfort, and finally her mother said a word:
"Outsiders, I can't rest assured, I'll pack up my things and move over to take care of you."
The mother's words made Ms. Yuan very happy, after all, it was her own mother, after she told Mr. Li about this matter, Mr. Li was also very willing, so Ms. Yuan's mother moved over to take care of Ms. Yuan and the child, but this also faced a problem, how to deal with the mother-in-law's ten thousand yuan to ask the sister-in-law's fee has become a problem, Mr. Li said to give the mother-in-law ten thousand yuan to the mother-in-law, but also to the mother-in-law's hard work, but Ms. Yuan's mother said:
"Just give me five thousand, the fat water does not flow into the fields of outsiders, we can also save some money for you, your parents are not short of money, but your days are still long, save more money."
Mr. Li also readily agreed, and informed his mother of the matter, at the beginning Mr. Li's mother did not refuse, thinking that this money should also be spent, to everyone the same, so agreed.
Ms. Yuan's life during the confinement period was very good, the mother took good care of it, and the two families were also very happy, but after the confinement was over, Ms. Yuan's health was much better and she was able to take care of the children, at this time Ms. Yuan's mother asked:
"After I go back, how will your life be planned, whether to let your mother-in-law come and take the children with you, or whatever?"
Ms. Yuan also consulted with Mr. Li and said:
"The mother-in-law does not plan to take the child, she feels too tired, she is used to idleness, so when the time comes, she plans to hire a nanny, the mother-in-law also said that she will ask the nanny's money to come out, and when the child is older, it is better to manage a little, and she will help bring it again."
But Ms. Yuan's mother was not satisfied:
"You don't want to take care of confinement, now with children, with your own grandchildren do not want to care, or so, you go and tell them, she gave me the money for the nanny, anyway, you have to pay money, it is better to earn for yourself." 」
Ms. Yuan was naturally willing and agreed, and Mr. Li had no opinion in his heart, but when he arrived at his mother-in-law, he became smelly, and her mother-in-law said:
"Then don't pay money, I invite you a sister-in-law, a nanny, but also to alleviate the pressure on your couple's life, but not for the welfare of her family, what is this like, it is a family, I pay for her mother to be a nanny?" Confinement for a month or two is acceptable, but after this time with children for a long time, who can do this. ”
The mother-in-law said:
"Isn't it normal for her to be a mother to take care of her daughter and help her with her children?" Now you have to keep asking me to take the money, which is not OK, either ask a babysitter to take the child, or her mother will bring it for free. ”
The mother-in-law's attitude made Mr. Li feel awkward in his heart, did not know how to say, could only inform the mother's concerns to Ms. Yuan, after consulting with Ms. Yuan, the two people informed Ms. Yuan's mother, Ms. Yuan's mother also felt helpless after considering it, afraid that her daughter would be difficult to do, and could only say:
"It's okay, I'll accompany my daughter, I'll help you with a few months, and after a while I'll ask the nanny to let your mother-in-law pay you money."
This officially resolved this matter and produced a greater contradiction, Ms. Yuan's mother helped to bring two months to go home, after all, she had to go to work herself, and Ms. Yuan's father was alone at home for a long time, so he had to go back, before leaving, Ms. Yuan took ten thousand yuan to her mother, but she was rejected by her mother, saying bluntly:
"If your mother-in-law's money, your mother will take it, your mother will not take your money, you are still long on this day, you save flowers." 」
Mr. Li on the side has been giving money to his mother-in-law, and finally was not taken away, after the mother-in-law left, the mother-in-law began to help find a nanny, but for this matter, Ms. Yuan and her mother left a gap in their hearts, thinking that the in-laws do not know how to be reasonable, do not know how to live, but for the mother-in-law, but feel that it is no problem, which has led to discomfort in the heart, until now.
Write at the end:
For Ms. Yuan's matter, many people are also difficult to find a reasonable way, some people think that the mother-in-law with the child, or the mother-in-law with the child is a matter of course, who has time who brings, should not mention money, or from the confinement time should not pay money to maintain this relationship, and some people say that taking the child is a matter of the in-laws, the mother-in-law family takes the initiative to help, the in-laws should be kind, should be treated well, and some people feel that Ms. Yuan's in-laws' family thinks too much, the same is to pay money, a nanny, One is for the relatives, don't need to care too much...
Each statement is reasonable, what do you think?