Hello. Parents grow, children rise. "Teach it and grow up" reads a family education book with parents every week.
The book prepared for you this week is the fu lei family letter collection of modern Chinese literary translators, writers and educators Fu Lei and his son Fu Cong.
The Book of Fu Lei is one of the most famous family letters in modern and contemporary Chinese history.
When I first read "Fu Lei's Family Book", I felt that this was a touching father's love manual, and every word was permeated with a father's deep affection for his child's fist.
From the etiquette of eating and dressing to the way of treating each other at home and country, Fu Lei gave advice and guidance to his son in every detail.
As Jin Yong commented: Mr. Fu Lei's family letter is a Chinese gentleman, teaching his children how to be a real Chinese gentleman.
Re-reading the "Fu Lei Family Letter", through this strong father's love, I summarized the 6 "management" that parents should let their children learn.
01 Manage emotions
Kazuo Inamori said: Success is not called emotions, and if you want to succeed, you need to manage your own negative emotions.
In his letter to Fu Cong, Fu Lei warned his son more than once to learn to control his emotions:
"Man has been in the high tide-low tide all his life, and only the mediocre person, life is like stagnant water... As long as the orgasm doesn't make you nervous too much and the low doesn't make you decadent, that's fine. ”
"The more calm you are, the more you achieve."
"You have to remind yourself at all times that there is no reason for your bitterness to be vented on a third party."
Daniel. Goreman said in "Emotional Intelligence": Emotional intelligence is the ability to manage emotions.
Smart people are the masters of emotions, and stupid people are the masters of bad emotions.
The so-called high emotional intelligence is just good at managing one's emotions.
Emotions are a double-edged sword, properly managed, self-interested; mismanagement, destruction and self-harm.
Parents should let their children understand from an early age that when they are happy, they will not get carried away; when they are frustrated, they will not be depressed and learn to control their emotions.
Children develop the ability to control their emotions, which is to store energy for a happy life in the future.
02 Manage relationships
Fu Lei understands very well that in society, people are in a network of relationships, relationships with others, relationships with the self, and relationships with this era. No matter how high a person is, it is difficult to break free of the relationship and live alone. Therefore, he told his son to learn to interact with people:
"As long as a person is sincere, he can always impress people; even if people don't understand it for a while, they will still understand it later."
"Don't use the fire, it's misunderstood."
"Don't ask others for what you can't do; you must first criticize yourself and change yourself first."
If a person manages the relationship well, life will be beautiful.
As a parent, to bring your child into the world of relationships, you must teach him the rules of survival with whom he or she gets along.
Handling complex interpersonal relationships well is a topic that parents need to help their children explore throughout their lives.
Relationship experts are often winners in life.
To teach children to manage relationships is to teach them to run their lives.
03 Manage time
Mathematician Hua Luogeng once said: Time is accumulated by minutes and seconds, and those who are good at using sporadic time will make better results.
In the same experience, in the same time, some people live as light, and some people fade into obscurity.
The ability to manage time affects the size of a person's future achievements.
Fu Lei repeatedly reminded his son in his home letter that he should arrange his time and learn to plan his life and study:
"Not going out with people during working hours, making a habit, and not offending people." Life has limited energy, and everyone has only twenty-four hours. ”
"The first priority is to arrange time and free up more unnecessary 'consumption time'... Pepsi don't bother, there are seven or eight hours on the piano every day, your progress must be faster! ”
"The busier things are, the more time you need to master."
From the child's childhood, parents should sow the seed of "one inch of time and one inch of gold" for him, and cultivate his awareness of planning to do specific things at a specific time in daily life.
Children manage every minute of the present, and then they can manage their own lives well.
04 Managing health
If you compare life to a passbook, no matter how many zeros there are in the fold, health will always be the previous 1. Without a "1", no amount of "0" is meaningless.
No matter how much parents expect from their children, they will not sacrifice their children's health.
Fu Lei has high expectations for Fu Cong, but he and thousands of ordinary parents have the same mood, hoping that their children can manage their own bodies:
"Live a regular life on weekdays, and don't sleep too late at night."
"Life is more regular, the natural body will be strong, the spirit will be full, and everything will be optimistic."
"Just eating coffee and bread is not the way of daily life."
"Don't eat too casually, nutrition (eating regularly) is important after all."
Without health, there is no way to talk about the true joy of life.
Wise parents must be most concerned about their children's health first.
Sound family education is not only to civilize the spirit of children, but also to savage children's physique.
Let the concept of healthy living penetrate into the bones of children, which is the strongest insurance that parents can buy for their children.
No matter how things change in the future, with a healthy body and the ability to manage their health, children have the capital to pursue the life they want.
05 Manage money
As the saying goes: money is not omnipotent, but it is impossible without money.
This is especially true in modern societies where commodity economies are prevalent.
In the face of Fu Cong, who does not like to talk about money, Fu Lei taught his children like this:
"Since you live in the world of money, you can't control money well so that you can't be enslaved by money."
"The desire is endless, how much is used, even if the nichijin doujin will not feel generous."
"Limit your desires and live within your means."
Money is only a tool of our lives, not the purpose of life.
Let children correctly understand money, do not worship gold, and do not regard it as dung.
Let children learn to use money wisely, not to satisfy selfish desires without restraint, and not to be a dime-a-dozen scrooge.
The child's view of money is his view of life.
To let children learn to manage money is to let children learn to manage their own lives.
06 Management Honors
Honor is spiritual food, which can stimulate inner energy and bring self-esteem and self-confidence.
But honor is a double-edged sword, which can urge people to move upwards, and it may also hurt people.
In the face of honor, Fu Lei sounded the alarm bell for his son:
"The more famous a person is, the more proud others will feel proud if they are not proud."
"Success is especially time to make you vigilant and never let feelings of complacency and pride rise up."
In the face of honor, children should learn to manage and learn to see open.
To get it, indifferently, this is a compliment to your own efforts;
Losing it, frankly, shows that their strength still needs to be strengthened.
Let the child understand that lying on the flowers of the past and being complacent will only miss the moment in front of you.
Only by letting go of the past in time can we better face the future.
The best ability parents can cultivate their children is self-management.
Manage emotions well, children can have a peaceful attitude;
Manage the relationship well, and the child will be harmonious with each other;
Manage time well, children can live calmly;
Only by managing health can children enjoy life in peace;
Manage money well, children can live easily;
Only by managing honors can children live calmly.
The best gift a parent can give to a child is to give him the ability to self-manage.
May our children be able to manage themselves with ease and live their own lives.
Author | Dan heart, parents grow, children upwards. Pay attention to "teach and nurture and grow", and learn to be a parent together.
About | Public account: Every week, I read a family education book with parents and exchange parenting issues together.
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