What is the essence of education?
——Parent-child education must see the end of the "Dog Thirteen" series (VII) of the ten films that must be seen
There is no malice, but it has been doing the wrong thing.
Full of love, but pushing the child farther and farther away.
What is true love?
What is the essence of education?
A story, a life. Multi-angle viewing, multi-dimensional viewing. Learn to watch movies and realize life. Welcome to the Puzzle Planet "Movie Theory" column, let us find the key to happiness through the "Dog Thirteen" of the ten films of parent-child education.
Question: Do parents love their children? The answer is yes, does the child love the parents? The answer is yes. If the essence of education is love, why do we still fail to do education with love? What's the point?
In fact, no matter what level of personality self we are at, fragmented self, collective conscious self, character will self, complete personality self, or super-conscious self, no matter what kind of experience and experience, all self-setting is ultimately to give back to our emotional center, to nourish our hearts, and to enrich the experience of love.
But when a person does not understand what is the real "me", naturally he does not understand what is the real "love". Therefore, the essence of education should be self-awareness, and on the road to self-fulfillment, children and their education are just a bridge leading us.
The film also explores a profound question – what is love? In the film, Li Play's situation is embarrassing - grandparents are too doting and indulgent, and father and stepmother are simple and rude to express their feelings with money and gifts. But once Li played "rebellious" against their will and challenged his own authority, he would be beaten by his father in exchange for a violent beating by his father, and after the beating, he said: "I love you." ”
When parents do not see clearly which level of self they are playing, they do not understand where their emotions come from, and they will think that it is caused by the child's "ignorance" and "disobedience", but they do not realize that they are driven by thoughts, social collective consciousness, including the role they play without knowing it.
We often say that parents' love for their children is total, unconditional, and 100 percent, is that true? When a person is still afraid, his love for another person cannot be 100%.
False love is the most terrible, parents often in order to maintain their own self will psychologically bind their children, prevent them from becoming independent, prevent them from forming a new personality self.
As Karen put it, Love is the masochist's disguise. But often the pretenders themselves are not intentional, they do not realize that they are using "love" to control children, turning them into their own slaves, into tools to defend themselves and maintain authority.
From a psychological point of view, the love of parents is often through the positive image of non-self-interest, cleverly hiding a strong personality self. Fearful parents will unconsciously regard their children as "hostages" of their sense of self-security. You have to be better and get good grades or I won't be safe; you have to be more capable and behave more mellow in front of your elders, or I won't be safe; you have to listen to me and can't resist me, or I won't be safe...
The child is a very sensitive receiver, and all she reflects is the information she feels from the parents. When you are afraid, she can feel fear; when you are uneasy, she can feel uneasy. She can't get the nourishment of love from her parents' inferiority, anxiety, and fear, even if you repeatedly express how much you love her.
Often children grow up in this environment, behind the seemingly well-behaved and sensible, the spirit is always in a state of flattery and tension; behind the smile, it is difficult to really let people into their hearts; behind the harmony of things, they are also losing the ability to truly love people and enjoy life.
On the contrary, in these various delicate and complicated family relationships, Li Play has always been a soft and kind child. She can soothe "Einstein" and let him sleep on her pillow; she can also soothe her anxious father with obedience; and she can take care of and sympathize with her brother who has taken away her love and suddenly appeared in front of her.
This empathetic softness, from her kindness, from her authenticity, and from the self-awareness and reflection of the moment, will allow her to throw away the new "Einstein" and bring it back and treat it well.
Compared with his own daughter, the father's reflection seems to be late, through the dog who would rather go on hunger strike to death, he began to understand the child's persistence, and also began to see the soft power of his daughter, and saw that he constantly hurt his daughter with wrong love.
At the end of the movie, in the song of "Looking Back Again", Li played with a question: "How did you and your mother start?" "Gently defeated father.
Countless surging emotions instantly made the man who had always seemed tough start to choke while driving, and made a very strange move, that is, to cover Li's eyes - he did not want the child to see his collapse and weakness.
He said hardly, "Your dad is not a good father, I am not a good father." Perhaps this is the beginning of father's awareness and reflection. We think we are accompanying our children to grow, and children are helping us grow, and parenthood itself is a protracted practice. A good parent should put the focus of education from educating children to educating themselves.
When parents begin to wake up and admit their mistakes, children are always the ones who forgive the fastest, and their egos are far less solid and persistent than adults. Children understand better that softness and love that extend to the future are more life-threatening than blind anger and control. Isn't that what children are telling us in action?
I hope that through the movie "Dog Thirteen", everyone can know themselves better, let life have more wonderful experiences, let life get more nourishment, and complete the process of children, but also complete themselves. Education is a path of self-awakening, educating children outwards and healing ourselves inward, so that we and our children are happier.
Welcome everyone to continue to pay attention to the puzzle planet movie theory column, in the ten films of parent-child education we will jointly unlock the code of love, looking for the true meaning of education...
Parenting education ten films of "Dog Thirteen" serial (VII) ended, the next film "Galaxy Tuition Class" will take you to continue to explore the mysteries of parent-child education, so stay tuned...
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