See the truth of these 3 marriages, and everyone who marries will be happy

Listen to happiness with you every night

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Mr. Qian Zhongshu, a famous writer, wrote in "Siege of the City": "Marriage does not need too great love, and it is enough to get married without hating each other." ”

The essence of marriage is not love, and most of those who finally enter the palace of marriage and can join hands for a lifetime are not those fairy partners.

No matter who you are with, it is actually a self-cultivation.

If you pay attention, you will find that those smart women have long seen the truth of these three marriages and allowed themselves to live a happy life.

01

Inclusive run-in is the norm

Someone once compared marriage like this:

"The relationship between marriage is like a land where the plates bite together, you have one more piece here, I will give up a piece here, run out of the peak and valley, and grind out a new tacit understanding." 」

Deeply believed, there is no perfect marriage in the world, and truly happy and happy marriages are created through running-in.

Never think about finding the most suitable person, because there is no such thing as the most suitable person in this world, and all suitable people are cultivated, not innate.

Actress Qi Wei and her husband Lee Seung-hyun have been married for more than 7 years, but they have not become flat with time, but have become a model for textbook love.

Someone once asked Qi Wei: "How can you meet a good husband like Lee Seung-hyun?" ”

Qi Wei replied, "A good husband has never met, he has been cultivated." ”

In a variety show, it is a good verification of her words.

Qi Wei made a soup for Lee Seung-hyun, perhaps because he had not cooked for a long time, the taste of the soup was not very tasty, some light.

Lee Seung-hyun tasted it and said, "I think it's special water (very light), it's delicious, but it's not too good compared to your past..."

Qi Wei pulled down her face at that time, and Lee Seung-hyun was suddenly overwhelmed, but the next approach could be called a "love textbook".

She first affirmed her partner's approach and praised his honesty.

"It's very good to hear you tell the truth, but this sentence doesn't add points to this."

Specific advice was then given, pointing out that he couldn't be too blunt and easily hurtful.

"If the taste is seventy points, the degree of emotion of doing this can make people say that it is a hundred points."

Lee Seung-hyun listened very seriously at that time, and when he walked after dinner, he quietly told Qi Wei that if he still had something that he did not do well, he could change it.

Couples who really know how to live a life, they will realize the needs of their partners in marriage, and when they experience the run-in period of husband and wife, they will not escape, and they will not dislike each other's shortcomings.

They will often be able to penetrate each other in the run-in, let their participation become a part of each other's lives, and be able to work together to move forward side by side on the road of wind and rain.

02

Value exchange is the essence

Psychologist research pointed out: "In married life, if one person's contribution to another person is 80%, but the other person's return to him is only 20%, then their marital happiness is 20%." ”

It can be seen that the essence of marriage is the exchange of values between two people.

In the film and television drama "Do you know whether it should be green fat red thin", women's high marriage and low marriage, men's high marriage and low marriage run through the whole play, in the end, this is a value consideration.

The little grandfather loved Minglan, but because of the family interests and because of his mother's persecution, he also had to marry the more prominent jiacheng county lord.

He Hongwen loves Minglan, but he is also unable to refuse He Muna's cousin's suggestion as a concubine because Minglan's daughter is not rich enough.

Gu Tingye loves Minglan, but the reason why he married Minglan is not only love, but also because of his father's teachings of "marrying a wife and marrying a virtuous".

Sure enough, after Minglan married Gu Tingye, whether it was the problems thrown by her stepmother and mother-in-law, or the chaotic accounts in Zhuangzi, and so on, Minglan was handy and perfectly solved.

Some people say: "The essence of love is emotional exchange, and the essence of marriage is value exchange, when love is strong, you can settle down, but when the love is relaxed, there is no power to fight back." ”

Gu Tingye raised an outer chamber lady Manniang, who also ate and drank well, but Manniang was bent on letting Gu Tingye ignore the world and marry her as a proper wife.

Poor her, she has no ambition, no ability, only tricks, some inferior means, and finally had to be disgusted by Gu Tingye.

The bystanders also said to Manniang: "Your stalking and fighting work, people have already rescued countless old, weak, and poor people, and set up their own family business." ”

Marriage is actually more like a partnership to start a business, both parties to bring considerable value, not not exactly money and material, but also includes added value such as appearance, ability, and life for people.

Poor in the downtown no one asks, rich in the mountains have distant relatives, marriage is realistic, once the value disappears, the times will abandon you, the people around you will also abandon you.

03

Business pampering is a must

The famous writer Haruki Murakami said: "The sense of ceremony is a very important thing, there is no small fortunate life, just a dry desert." ”

Indeed, it is often not chai rice oil and salt that defeat marriage, but the lack of ritual sense between the two in their long-term fireworks life.

I saw a short film online called "30 Days of Commitment."

The husband is tired of the ordinary life, so he says to his wife: "Divorce, we are not happy, are we?" ”

On day 2, the wife agreed to her husband's divorce decision, but made a 30-day commitment for the couple to spend 30 days like a normal couple, and on the 30th day, they went through the divorce.

The husband agreed.

During these 30 days, the wife will ask her husband to say I love you to her husband before she goes to bed.

In the morning, before the two of them get up, let their husband kiss themselves. As you walk down the road, let your husband take your hand.

When two people eat together, they will feed each other food, and in the morning, they will squeeze toothpaste together to brush their teeth.

The days passed quickly, and it was about to end 30 days.

When he went to work that day, a clerk asked him, "How did he propose marriage at that time?", and this question instantly brought the husband into the scene where he had been proposed by his wife.

At that time, he knelt down on one knee and sincerely said to his wife: "I promise you, I hold your hand every day, hold you every day, kiss you every day, tell you I love you, will you marry me?" ”。

Thinking of her husband here, suddenly realizing something, he wanted to tell his wife that he regretted it and that he loved her very much.

Sometimes it's not that I don't love anymore, but I just neglect to express love in the process of getting along for a long time.

Timely management is really important, be sure to inject a sense of ceremony into life, even if the love after marriage will be flat as water, it will not be tap water, but a sweet spring, will be a little sweet.

Falling in love is easy, just a moment of passion. It is very difficult to maintain a marriage, and it takes a lifetime of cultivation.

May you and I both harvest a happy and happy marriage.

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