Hello everyone, I practice lifelong learning as a tomato mom!
A while ago, while walking with my son, we saw a person in a wheelchair, and I suddenly sighed: "Nothing is more important than a healthy life." ”
My son retorted to me and said, "However, you also said that learning is the most important, which is the most important?" "Of course, life and health are the most important.
As parents, we attach the most importance to the child's academic performance, strict management of the child, even if it is dragging him, pushing him, but also let him go forward. Academic performance is important, but not everything is perfect if the child's academic performance is good, the child's health is more important, such as the child's mental health.
I once heard the self-report of a depressed girl who took the college entrance examination that year, took the first place in the province, and entered Tsinghua University to study finance.
The girl is very smart from childhood, her mother has very strict requirements for her, and her academic performance must be maintained in the top three of the grade, which is what her mother asks of her. A little slackness, failure to meet the mother's requirements will be severely punished.
After the college entrance examination score came out, the whole family and relatives and friends were boiling, only she was relieved, her mother was finally satisfied, and she no longer had to study hard. Mom asked her what major she liked, and she said she liked literature. However, her mother finally signed her up for finance, which is the hottest major.
When you go to college, you can leave your mother and you don't have to be disciplined, what a pleasant thing. However, she found that her college life was not good. She didn't like the professional class, so she didn't want to go to it, and after a few lessons, she found that she couldn't understand it at all. And the people around them are so excellent, almost all of them are college entrance examination winners in various provinces, they seem to be able to solve these academic problems easily.
Later, she fell farther and farther away from her studies, and began to lose sleep all night: wondering why she was here? Why bear all this pain. She later refused to go out of the dormitory to go to class, but the counselor rescued her and took her to see the school psychologist, who turned out to be moderate depression.
With the help of her doctors, she got better and found that many people were actually as depressed and anxious as herself. Many of these bright-looking high-caliber students are studying hard while eating antidepressant drugs.
These days, the proud children can be admitted to such a famous school as Tsinghua Peking University, which is the object of everyone's envy, why do they get depression?
First of all, their IQ is no problem, and after experiencing harsh high school competition, they have entered the famous schools in the country. However, the high proportion of depression among them is probably due to these reasons.
▼ The child's motivation to learn comes from the parents, who do not have a clear goal in life
What is the purpose of studying on your own? There are many children who do not know, although they are smart and studious, but they do not know what the meaning of learning is?
Xu Kaiwen, deputy director of Peking University's psychological counseling office, once talked about the term "hollow heart disease." Hollow heart disease, which can make people depressed, interest loss, emotional lack, is a manifestation of depression.
He once did a survey of first-year students at Peking University, and 30.4% of the students hated learning, and 40.4% of the students did not know why they were alive, they thought they did not know who they were living for, they felt that there was no point, so they wanted to give up on themselves.
▼ Children lack self-management skills and cannot adapt to the psychological gap of university life
From elementary school to high school, many children are forced by their parents to learn. Parents always say that "when you get to college, you can have fun", which is actually a lie, especially in well-known colleges and universities, you even have to work harder than high school to complete your studies.
Therefore, when children leave the discipline of their parents and their self-management ability is very poor, there will be academic difficulties. And such a situation of suddenly becoming a "school scum" will cause a great gap in the child's psychology.
The gradual rejuvenation of depressed patients is what parents need to be vigilant about, and if we want to raise an excellent child, we must first cultivate a healthy child.
How to cultivate children to become a person who loves learning, life and is positive is the direction that parents should strive for
Parents take their children to exercise more, and their children's psychology is healthier
Psychologist Li Meijin once said that depression occurs because people have a part of the brain neurons, and there is no way to get excited. Imbalances in brain activity and physical activity cause people to think too much and do very little, forming depression.
Professor Li Meijin believes that before the age of 10, children should carry out more physical exercise, and physical exercise can make children's spirit stronger. The experience of insisting on exercise again and again can make children more mentally resilient and become a mentally healthy person.
Prevent children from becoming "hollow people", cultivate children's learning drive, and help children establish faith
Parents guide their children to love learning, not to use some ways to suppress children to force children, but should find ways to improve children's interest in learning. We should let children realize that learning is their own business, and it changes your life and life.
I think that to make children fall in love with learning, we must first make children fall in love with life. We take our children to participate in some social practice activities, so that children understand what kind of person they want to become and what kind of industry they want to engage in in the future.
When a child learns because of something he loves, he has a clear goal and a strong interest will be more motivated. When children have their own beliefs and learn and struggle for the things they love, depression is less likely to occur.
Cultivate children to love life and be a happy person.
To train children to be happy people and people who love life, we should do something. For example, take children closer to nature, let children experience the beauty and wonder of nature, and take children to travel once or twice a year.
At home, parents should respect their children, let their children participate in family affairs, and let them have a sense of family responsibility. It is also necessary to cultivate a sense of ceremony for children, and important festivals create a joyful atmosphere so that children can feel the love of their families.
In fact, the growth of children not only needs pressure, but also our care, excellence and health coexist, is our educational purpose.
Slogan: Learning may not allow parents to cultivate excellent children 100%, but without learning, you can't cultivate excellent children, may every mother become a learning mother!