Tao Sisters Talk Family Style 丨 Father decides how high the child flies, and the mother decides how far the child flies (deep good text)

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The father's pattern determines how high a child can fly

Psychologists have pointed out that before the child is 12 years old, he often regards his father as his idol. Children often have a strong admiration for their fathers, using them as a symbol of wisdom and strength.

The child will subconsciously imitate the father's behavior. After the mind matures, it will strive to reach or surpass the height of the father.

Zeng Jize, son of Zeng Guofan, is an example:

Zeng Jize took his father as an example, and learned from his father in his life and as an official. He became an official in the DPRK and showed no less ability in political affairs than his father.

Zeng Guofan mishandled in handling foreign affairs, the "Tianjin Teaching Case", and his reputation fell to the bottom, Zeng Guofan realized the importance of diplomacy, so he often warned Zeng Jize to open his eyes to the world.

Zeng Jize learned a foreign language and was bound to get up where his father fell. Sure enough, Zeng Jize played an outstanding role in later foreign affairs, defending national interests in the territorial dispute in Xinjiang, and becoming China's most famous diplomat at that time.

And relative to the mother, the father does not spoil the child, they often point out a direction for the child, let the child use their own strength to arrive. Children have more space to play, but also exercise the ability to stand on their own.

Therefore, the best education given by fathers to their children is not considerate care of everything, but a determined education that guides the direction. A good father must set a good example for his children in terms of pattern and determination, which will determine the upper limit of what children can reach in the future.

The fullness of fatherly love

With the increase in the cost of education today, fathers, as the economic pillar of the family, often bear huge financial pressure, in order to work, often have little time to accompany the family, which has caused a huge lack of education for children.

Children who lack father's love in their early years often lack a sense of security, saying that fatherly love is like a mountain, and when the child does not have a solid dependence around him, he will become inferior and anxious.

When you grow up, even if you become a strong adult, the child cannot get rid of this insecurity.

Such children are easily stuck to the rules in their careers, afraid of failure, afraid of breaking through innovation, and afraid to make new attempts.

This often makes his career limited, unable to break through the inherent situation and open up new horizons, which seriously restricts the height that his personal career can reach.

Therefore, no matter how busy you are, as a father, you must also take time to accompany your children, and your father's care will make children feel that they have a strong enough backing and it is easy to feel safe, so that in this case, they will be more confident in doing things, rather than afraid of their hands and feet.

In family education, the mother is also a pivotal role, the mother's unique gentleness and tolerance can make the child develop a generous character, and the mother's own cultivation often affects the child's character and personality throughout life.

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The mother's cultivation determines the character of the child

The Austrian Association for Caring for Girls has a very famous question:

If a family has a pair of children, but only one education fund, who do you vote for?

Their answer: vote for the girl.

Because you educate a boy, you educate only one individual, and if you educate a girl you educate a family, you educate a nation, you educate a nation. This is not a lie, in a family, the mother's cultivation determines the character of the child.

In infancy, people's consciousness is extremely simple, their behavior habits are not fixed, and they have a unique attachment to their mother psychologically.

Mothers' behavior, ideological character, and morality are easy to leave a deep imprint on the hearts of their children, and gradually form the initial concepts of good and evil, true and false, good and bad, and right and wrong, and how well the foundation of this period is played will determine what kind of person they become.

As the famous educator Sukhomlinsky said in the book "Family Pedagogy": "The source of the moral development of the child lies in the wisdom, emotions and inner passion of the mother, and how people become in their own moral development determines what kind of mother there is."

How a person's character determines whether he can gain a foothold in society. Whether we can get along well with people and whether we can avoid making mistakes of principle in the face of major issues of right and wrong.

Such a person may not have a very amazing performance, but the victory lies in solid stability, long endurance, and the road of life can naturally go further.

Mother's love is as gentle and generous as water

We often say that strict fathers and mothers, mothers tend to be more gentle and generous to their children, fathers are often more severe, and feminine characteristics determine that mothers are often more tolerant and understanding and more patient in education.

Therefore, children who grow up in single-parent families, if they are brought up by their fathers, girls are generally more like boys, and their temper is often more direct. Boys brought up by their mothers are generally gentler, more inclusive, and do not like to be aggressive.

Lao Tzu said that soft energy can overcome rigidity, and understanding tolerance is often more powerful than blindly being strong.

Hu Shi is a good example.

Hu Shi's father died when he was three years old, and he was raised by his mother, although he was a progressive youth, he had tolerance and generosity that his generation did not have.

Hu Shi also pointed out in his article recalling his mother that the generosity in his personality benefited from his mother's education of him. In that era, almost all progressive young people chose to give up arranged marriages, whether it was Xu Zhimo or Lu Xun, they all chose to abandon their original partners and pursue their own happiness.

But Hu Shi did not abandon his arranged marriage. His wife, Jiang Dongxiu, is illiterate, likes to play mahjong, often does not cook for Hu Shi, and has a very short temper, but Hu Shi is so tolerant, and the two people tolerate each other for a lifetime. Lu Xun's controversy in that year almost scolded the literary circle over and over again, and also scolded Hu Shi, but Hu Shi never responded, and at that time, whether it was Lu Xun's friend or Lu Xun's enemy, he and Hu Shi got along very well.

Hu Shi's own generosity and tolerance are evident. The mother's unique gentleness and tolerance can let the child develop a generous way of dealing with people, such a child is not sharp, after stepping into the society, often has a strong ability to adapt, the degree of mental health is much higher than the average, and the career development is rarely subject to major setbacks.

Career development and interpersonal relations are relatively stable, not easy to appear violent changes, and life is relatively peaceful and happy.

In today's children's education, school education alone is far from enough, father and mother are the people who affect the child's life, in family education, whether it is father or mother, are indispensable, less than which party may cause imbalance in the development of children.

Therefore, every father and mother must give full play to their own advantages, in their own good place, to give the child the best education, only in this way, can the child develop in an all-round way, so that the child can fly high, can also fly far, have a successful and happy life.

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