In ancient times, in the marriage of men and women, "the order of the parents, the words of the matchmaker". In these 8 words, parents play a vital role. Since the father is the head of the family, he naturally has the right to decide on the marriage of his children. What kind of daughter-in-law and son-in-law to choose is basically decided by the father.
Zeng Guofan was naturally the same.
Zeng Guofan had 3 sons: Zeng Jidi, Zeng Jize, and Zeng Jihong. Due to the premature death of the eldest son, Zeng Jize became the de facto eldest son. Zeng Jize was born on December 7, 1839, which happened to be the second year of Zeng Guofan's examination for the Jinshi. Zeng Guofan was an official in the imperial court, and when he rose step by step, Zeng Jize also grew up day by day.
In ancient times, the average life expectancy was low, and in order to reproduce the family, people only advanced the marriage age of their children to their teens, and generally began to get engaged at a few years old. Zuo Zongtang only got married at the age of 20 and is already considered an older youth. Zeng Guofan was an official in the imperial court, and it was inevitable that someone would come to propose to his eldest son Zeng Jize.
At that time, Zeng Guofan had a friend named Tang Hejiu, who was also an official in the capital. Tang Hejiu introduced Zeng Jize to a marriage affair, the woman's parents surnamed Li, living in Guiyang Prefecture, Hunan (present-day Guiyang County, Chenzhou City, Hunan Province).
Guiyang Prefecture belongs to the southern part of Hunan, near Guangdong. Zeng Guofan's hometown is Xiangxiang County, Changsha Province, which belongs to the north-east of Hunan. Zeng Guofan believed that the distance between the two places was relatively far, and it would be inconvenient for the two families to go to relatives in the future, so he sent a letter back to Tang Hejiu and politely rejected the marriage.
At the same time that Tang Hejiu introduced Zeng Jize to the marriage, another Hunan official also wanted to betroth zeng guofan to have a children's affair and give his daughter Xu to Zeng Jize.
The Hunan official's name was Chang Dachun.
Chang Dachun (常大淳), courtesy name Lan (蘭陔), was born in 1792 in Hengyang County, Hengzhou Prefecture (present-day Ruizhi Village, Jinlan Town, Hengyang County, Hengyang City, Hunan Province). Chang Dachun was the founding father of the Ming Dynasty and the king of Kaiping, Chang Yuchun, who was admitted to the Chinese Academy in 1823, and successively served as the editor of the Hanlin Academy, the inspector of Shandong Province, the Ministry of Works, the official palm seal to Shizhong, the Fujian Governor of Grain Road, the Fujian Envoy, the Fujian Envoy, the Zhejiang Yanyun Envoy, the Zhejiang Hangjiahu Road, the Zhejiang Envoy, the Zhejiang Envoy, the Zhejiang Envoy, the Zhejiang Envoy, the Anhui Envoy, and the Hubei Envoy. In 1849, when Chang Dachun proposed to marry Zeng Guofan, he had already served as a political envoy from Shaanxi province from Erpin, and he could also be regarded as a local official in charge of the political side. This family affair can be called a door-to-door pair.
Moreover, Hengyang is located in the south-central part of Hunan, not far from Xiangxiang County in Changsha Province, only more than 300 miles away. After the two families opened a family affair, Zeng Guofan went to the family's home as a guest, and if he took the carriage, two or three days would arrive.
According to the saying, Zeng Guofan should be very satisfied with this family affair. What makes people feel confused is that Zeng Guofan still politely rejected Chang Dachun's "good intentions".
On April 16, 1649, Zeng Guofan wrote a family letter to his father Zeng Lin, mentioning this matter. Zeng Guofan said in his family letter: "In the affairs of the Chang family, the male is born of his female concubine, and he hears that his concubines are not very harmonious, and he also hears of his brother? Not very frugal and simple, and unwilling to be right. ”
What does this mean? Zeng Guofan believed that Chang Dachun's daughter was born of a concubine, coupled with the disharmony between his wife and concubine, Chang Dachun's son was not frugal enough, had a noble prince as a faction, and was unwilling to marry.
In order to comfort his father, Zeng Guofan said: "Ji Ze'er's marriage has been repeatedly unsuccessful, and the man was also fifteen years old when he was fifteen years old. Betrothal?, then Ji Ze will delay for another year or two, and it is not impossible. Zeng Guofan felt that he had only decided to marry at the age of 15, although Zeng Jize's marriage had undergone several twists and turns, but his age was still young, only 10 years old, and there was nothing wrong with delaying it for one or two years.
Chang Dachun's daughter was born to a concubine, and zeng guofan refused to marry as a daughter-in-law. This phenomenon was very common in ancient times. Men in ancient families of power often had multiple wives and concubines, and Zeng Guofan, Zuo Zongtang, Li Hongzhang and others were no exception. However, the wife's family and social status are far higher than those of concubines. The children born to the wife are called? of lineal descent? Children; children born to concubines, called concubines, have very different statuses. In the families of princes and nobles, the sons born of concubines were not eligible to inherit the title, and they were also required to stand behind the concubines when sacrificing their ancestors.
Interestingly, although Zeng Guofan rejected Chang Dachun's daughter on the grounds of "born of a concubine", he still found a daughter-in-law for Zeng Jize who was "born of a concubine".
Originally, there was a high-ranking official in Hunan named He Changling, who held important positions such as the governor of Guizhou and the governor of Yungui. When Zeng Guofan first arrived in the capital, his pockets were shy, and He Changling once gave 30 taels of silver, which was kind to him. He Changling wanted to marry his daughter to Zeng Jize and entrusted Luo Zenan, a good friend of Zeng Guofan, to act as a matchmaker.
Zeng Guofan saw that He Changling's daughter was also born to a concubine and did not want to agree. However, Luo Zenan was very clever, bypassed Zeng Guofan, and directly found Zeng Guofan's father Zeng Linshu, and successfully persuaded him.
Zeng Guofan wanted to repent, and was scolded by Zeng Linshu. Zeng Guofan was a filial son, and in the face of his father's insistence, he could not oppose it, so he agreed to this marriage.
In the end, Zeng Jize and He Changling's daughter made a relationship. In 1859, they married. Unfortunately, a year later, He Changling's daughter died in childbirth.
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