The day before yesterday in the Bao Ma group chat, some Bao Ma said that educating children is really not an easy task, from time to time there will be anxiety, lamenting that "it is difficult to raise a baby, it is difficult to go to the sky", which has been unanimously approved by everyone.
Indeed, modern parents pay more and more attention to their children's education, "looking forward to jackie chan, hoping that women will become phoenixes" is the common wish of everyone, and every parent is full of hope for their children's future.
But it is precisely because of this that many parents inevitably have to worry about whether their parenting methods are correct. Is the child good enough to be compared to his peers? Will you be able to become a talent in the future?
For this question, the American psychologist Nader van der Linden once said: "Parents should stop seeking affirmation and comparison, and judge whether they are doing the right thing from the child's physical, psychological, and emotional point of view." ”
When we judge the success of educating children, we should take the characteristics of the children themselves as the standard, rather than comparing the children with others horizontally, if the children have the following 4 characteristics, then it means that we are well educated, on the contrary, parents need to reflect on whether they should make some targeted adjustments.
Have independent ability
Yang Dai's father once told her that "educating children to be independent is better than being the first", a child with independent ability can better cope with problems in life and adapt faster when stepping into society in the future.
It is not difficult for us to find in life that many parents now attach great importance to their children's independent ability, not only let them contact housework early, but also insist on letting their children do their own things, for fear of blindly conniving at "spoiled" children.
For example, the star Bao Mama Cai Shaofen, she once posted a photo of her daughter cooking on social media, although the little girl is not yet high in the "stove", but the washing and stir-frying action is very skilled, very chef style, watching the finished product is "full of sales", praised by a large number of netizens.
In addition, as a "top tycoon" Guo Jingjing, she and her lover Huo Qigang also attach great importance to the child's independent ability, not only usually let her son wash the car to earn pocket money, but also take time to take the child to the countryside, wear a straw hat, plant seedlings in the hot sun, and experience the hardships of farmers.
When we educate children, we may wish to boldly let go and give children more opportunities for independence, which is of great benefit to their healthy growth.
Children are cultured
I remember watching such a news, on a subway train in Tianjin, a man peeled up garlic and casually threw the garlic skin into the carriage.
At this time, a little girl in a white school uniform and carrying a school bag squatted down, naturally picked up the garlic skin, got out of the car and threw it into the trash can.
Afterwards, a reporter interviewed the little girl, the little girl said that she did not think too much, usually her parents have always been so educated, seeing that there is garbage on the ground, we must pick it up and care for environmental hygiene.
We often say that "the child is a mirror of the parents", parenting is actually hidden in the child's hands and feet, just like this little girl, the reason why she can behave so naturally, the key lies in the parents have been leading by example, and the child's upbringing is precisely a success in parental education.
Ability to resist setbacks
There was such a scene in the variety show "Where Did Daddy Go", after the game, Chen Xiaochun's son Jasper kept asking if he had won? Ying Cai'er replied, "No, it was Uncle Wu Zun who won", and Jasper cried instantly, unable to accept the fact that he had lost.
Ying Cai'er quickly reassured, "It's just a matter of luck", and it took a long time for Jasper's mood to calm down.
In life, I believe that many children have similar encounters, a test score is almost stagnant, after being criticized by the teacher, they feel aggrieved and resistant, they dare not challenge after encountering difficulties, and they cannot accept the consequences of failure, which ultimately lies in "unable to afford to lose".
In fact, every child's growth process can not be smooth, "rain and wind" is the norm, only children with "anti-setback ability" can lose the game without discouragement, poor test scores are not depressed, and they are still scrappy after being criticized.
This is actually the success of parents' education, only by giving children enough love and encouragement, providing them with emotional support, can we give them such "anti-setback ability".
Children are willing to communicate with their parents
If the child encounters difficulties, he is only willing to bear it alone and dare not communicate with his parents, which is actually a failure of parenthood.
In a talk show, actress Wang Ziwen talked about her father, she said that when she was a child, she had been lacking communication with her parents, bluntly saying that "I felt very afraid of my father", in her opinion, even if you tell your parents about the problem, it will only be ignored, it is difficult to get effective advice, and it is impossible to solve practical problems.
For children, successful family education should give them the ability to "cry when they want to cry" and be willing to communicate with their parents in depth, which is a manifestation of their sense of security and mental health.
When we educate children, we must know how to understand and respect, when the child is still young, allow the child to vent his emotions appropriately, as the child grows up, teach the child to master the ability to communicate, maintain a close relationship with the child, in order to let the child be willing to communicate with the parents in case of trouble, seek advice and comfort.
Crooked Mom Conclusion:
It is not easy to educate children well, as parents, we must know how to reflect on the shortcomings of the education model, and when we find that children have problems in growth, we must make targeted adjustments in time to give children a more perfect education.
Today's topic: Does your child have these characteristics?
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