As long as some parents are together, they will spit on each other's children, and they will not move: "What happened to my children?" Too angry", "I had another fight with my child today".
Parents will find out in the process of companionship, why can't they get along well? How can there always be so much conflict? Many parents are extremely annoyed.
Parents and children constantly conflict, quarrel and get angry at every turn, it seems to have become a common thing for a long time, this phenomenon is certainly a phenomenon that many parents do not want to see, who hope that their relationship with their children is intimate.
However, this is difficult for many parents, especially as they grow up, you will find that it is more and more difficult to manage, and even two people will do it.
The cause of conflict between the child and the parent
Always conflicting parent-child relationship, not simply saying a few words that children do not like to obey to cause this situation, more often, its occurrence is related to parents and children.
Reason 1: Parents demand too much perfection
Perfection is not an easy thing to do, or even an impossible thing to do.
"No one is perfect, no one is golden, no barefoot", in a blunt sentence, parents are not perfect, why ask children to be perfect.
But many parents don't understand this.
Almost perfect to ask children, even harsh.
Over time, there will be a lot of emotions, and contradictions and conflicts will continue.
Reason 2: Failure to lead by example
Some parents don't do it themselves, but ask their children to do it.
In the eyes of children, right and wrong are simple, and the mind is not as complicated as that of adults.
When you see what your parents have not done, but ask yourself to do it, you will feel that you have been treated unfairly, psychologically uncomfortable, and thus conflict.
Reason 3: Parents who are too strong
The strength of parents is also the key to conflict, and you can think back to whether your education has happened like this.
At every turn, he said to the child: "You will listen to me when I say it", "Tell you to do what I say you don't believe", "Just wear this dress and don't ink"... Not listening to the child at all, and strongly instilling his own ideas has caused the child's inner disgust and contradictions.
Reason 4: Always deny the child
Children are always negative and habitually picky about their behavior.
Always say no, no, tie up the child at every turn, and determine that he is wrong before he can do it.
Or after doing it, it is a rebuke and sarcasm, in such a situation, the parents receive negative energy, how can they use good emotions to cope with everything, the parents will inevitably be dissatisfied, there is conflict.
Reason 5: Too much to say
Tell your child a lot of truths at every turn, the nagging of the mother, the lack of companionship of the father.
If you are allowed to be with someone who only knows how to nag, I guess you will also feel annoyed. Not to mention children?
The most ineffective way to cope with conflict with your child
If conflicts between you and your children always occur from time to time, the most taboo is the phenomenon of hard resistance.
Because the result of hard resistance is to disperse unhappily, trying to treat conflict in a hard resistance way is the most wrong and the lowest level.
In many cases, it is the parents who think it is the most useful, and on the surface it may really be useful at the time, but after the incident, the seeds of resentment are likely to be planted in the child's heart, and the parents will become more and more incomprehensible, laying the groundwork for future contradictions and conflicts.
It's just a stupid way to treat the symptoms rather than the root causes, and it won't work at all to resolve conflicts.
So don't use the wrong way to deal with conflict, otherwise the more you do it wrong, the more conflicts will be more and more.
How to skillfully resolve conflicts
Conflict is inevitable in the parent-child relationship, everyone has their own ideas, and it is inevitable that opinions are not unified.
How do you resolve and reduce conflicts?
First, family relations should be harmonious and warm
Creating a warm and harmonious family atmosphere, you can feel the warm love of your parents, and it is also the basic condition for resolving conflicts.
If parents are always arguing, how can children have a good mood and how they can have a sense of security, but they will only become the same as their parents.
Second, stay away from violence and bad TV shows
In normal times, children should be kept away from some violent and bad TV programs, such as some gunplay games and cartoons that are too violent.
The third point is to understand the intrinsic motivation of the child's emotions
All emotions are not gratuitous, they will have their provenance, understand the secrets behind the child's emotions, and know why this is the case.
This allows us to resolve conflicts and at the same time deal with them better.
Fourth, some erroneous behaviors should be stopped in time
If the child has some wrong behavior, such as casually hitting people, or always biting people, be sure to stop it in time, and clearly tell, "Your behavior is wrong, you have to correct it, and your mother believes that you can correct it."
Let them know for themselves what is wrong in this way? Know how to have self-control, but also cultivate children's ability to distinguish between right and wrong.
Fifth, believe in your children
Small children don't grow up to be like you think right away.
It's a long process that requires parents to be more patient than blaming.
Believe that your children are excellent and that they will become better.
When mistakes are made, accept and tolerate.
Knowing where the mistakes are is key, not results-oriented accusations and scolding.
Doing a good job of education with wrong summaries is the solution, which can not only solve the problem, but also reasonably avoid conflict.
If the family is the sea, the child is a small boat in the sea.
Whether it is the conflict or the setback, it is like a storm that can exercise a child.
Parents have to deal with conflicts in order to finally win the calm.
More care and attention, trust in their children, give them space for self-development, and use the correct way to resolve conflicts to resolve conflicts, you can do a better job in education.
| Proverbs 22:6|
To raise a child, to make him walk the path of the profession, even when he is old, he will not deviate.