Source: Qian Zhiliang Studio (ID: qzlgzs)
What is it like to be a child with a small talk?
One mother complained that she spent every day at home during the winter vacation, and the child's mouth was like a machine gun, talking non-stop, and taking turns to "bombard" the adults in the family:
"Dad, guess what I'm holding in my hand?"
"Mom, why is this dish sweet?"
"Mom, you look at the balloons there, I have them at home, right, did you buy them for me?"
Even when going to the toilet, the child kept asking outside the door:
"Are you okay?" Mom! ”
"I'm waiting for you here!"
The child's fairy tales often make her cry and laugh, and sometimes she is eager to block his mouth, and she is annoyed and directly ignores the child.
The experience of this mother, I believe that many parents are not strangers.
Every child will grow up with such a "talking" period, chasing adults to say all kinds of things, asking strange questions.
In fact, children talk too much, is not a bad thing, parents guide well, but can exercise children's various abilities.
01
The child's "talking" is not a bad thing
First, this is a necessary stage in the development of children's language
The stage of 3 to 6 years old is the child's language explosion period, when the child continues to ask questions and eager to talk to people, it is he who enriches his life cognition and is also the high-speed period of thinking ability growth.
Children in this period like to entertain themselves and talk to themselves, for example, they will imitate various sounds, and talk to still lifes, basically think of what they will do, in this way, to maintain their attention.
In other words, the child just expresses the information in his own mind in sync.
Second, like to talk, but also a manifestation of intelligence
Like to talk, indicating that the child has the desire to express, it can reflect the child's active thinking and rich imagination.
Especially when parents are willing to listen and talk to their children, not only can they promote the parent-child relationship, but also the child's thinking will be developed.
A team from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, Harvard University and the University of Pennsylvania once studied more than 30 children aged 4-6 in the Boston area, and when the children listened to stories and scanned their brain activity, they found that:
The more often a child talks to their parents, the more active the language-related areas of their brains become.
Thinking depends on the presentation of language, children who can express it, and thinking will also be developed, and the two are complementary.
Third, whisperers are generally happy
Some time ago, I saw such a conclusion on the Internet:
Psychologists have found that if more than 90% of what a person says is nonsense, he is happy. If the nonsense is less than 50%, the sense of happiness is insufficient. In communication, there is no strong purposeful language, it is easier to make people close. What is happiness? Probably just finding someone who is willing to listen to your nonsense.
This sentence can also be put on the child, when the child keeps talking to you, it is precisely when he feels safe and happy, he can say whatever he wants.
What happy child doesn't talk a lot?
A mother around, the daughter is also a lot of words, when she was a child, her mouth was very sweet, her brother and sister, uncles and aunts called diligently, went to the commissary to buy things, even the owner liked her, and took a dollar to buy back two dollars of lollipops.
The mother said: "Before I hated my daughter was not quiet enough, now I see her chattering every day, all day long, this happiness also unconsciously infected me." ”
Happy people are always more willing to express themselves.
02
Talkative children need your attention
Children who talk a lot, although sometimes people are overwhelmed, parents should also pay attention to their attitude.
Many parents feel that their children's words are childish, they are interested in answering a few sentences, they are not interested in perfunctory two sentences, and they are in a bad mood and even reprimand their children.
There is a scene where a father takes his daughter on a trip in a car, and the daughter excitedly asks this and that, and the father next to him stares at the mobile phone as if he has not heard his daughter's words.
After a while, the child finds himself talking to himself all the time, and the light in his eyes dims when the father is not paying attention to himself.
In the face of such a cold response, the child's desire to express is destroyed.
Every child is eager to get your attention, and every expression is inviting you into his wild world.
As parents, we must cherish the child's unreserved talking moment and lay the foundation for future parent-child communication.
If we start ignoring our children now, they will only become less and less like to talk to their parents.
Even if you are in a bad state at the moment and do not want to respond to the child, you can hold the child, let the child wait quietly for a while, or tell the child frankly how you feel, this response is much better than rudely shutting the child up.
Children's expression needs to be practiced, and the best object is the parent.
As psychologist Dana Saskind once wrote in "The Language of Parents: 30 Million Words Shape a More Powerful Learning Brain":
Everyone is born with a certain talent for language, and whether they can understand complex language structures in the future depends on the language environment in which the individual is located. If what a child receives on a daily basis is a proper and meaningful language expression, then he will certainly be able to use the expression he has heard skillfully in the future.
Therefore, the attitude of parents to their children is very important, and your serious treatment is an encouragement for the child to improve his communication skills.
03
Pay attention to these three points, not afraid of children talking too much
Of course, just because a talkative child doesn't mean a child can talk.
If we want our children's expressions to be more acceptable, we want to teach our children three things:
First, teach children not to interject and not to interrupt others easily
The main reason why adults feel irritable about their children's speech is because children have no patience and have to interrupt their parents at any time to seek attention.
Therefore, we should pay attention to exercising children to learn to wait, as long as it is not a very urgent matter, you can ask the child to wait a little, and at the same time guide the child to recognize that it is impolite to interject.
For example, if you are discussing things and the child talks to you about the picture book story, you can first accept his request: "Yes, but mom has not finished talking about things now, you wait for me for 10 minutes." ”
Through training like this, children are trained to be patient, and the waiting time will become longer little by little.
Second, remind the child to pay attention to the occasion of expression
Children talk indiscriminately regardless of the occasion is also easy to become a problem, such as libraries, movie theaters and other public places, some children even when the class, will interrupt the teacher to lecture.
In the face of this situation, we must also stop it in time, remind the child to speak on different occasions, and let him learn to respect others.
Third, learn to express yourself logically and politely
Children's expressions are always chaotic and illogical at the beginning, and some children often say dirty words, and they often do not realize the hurtfulness of these words.
For example, some children will directly say to others: "You are really fat", "You are so ugly", "your food is really unpalatable".
The first time we can say that it is a child's words, the second and third times are the rudeness of the child.
Therefore, we must teach children to pay attention to the feelings of others, and cultivate children to fully express their own views through playing games and picture book stories.
The more parents attach importance to their children's language expression, the more children will develop good language habits.
At the end of the article, click "In the watch", and encourage you!